XKatieX Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 (12/6/2009 9:12:24 PM): I cant say theres absoulutely nothing left, but with time that will fade away as well. Im not going back to it, not today, not ever. There has been a few times ive thought about you, then I quickly recall every single bad moment, and that is enough for me to tell you, its never gonna happen ever again. I dont know what else to say, im not sorry, because I did try. But sometimes thats not enough, Ill never forget you, but ill never go back. So that pretty much says anything, any second thoughts about I had of his feelings are now clear to me. Time to try and move on... 3 years of my life just wasted.
GrayClouds Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 (12/6/2009 9:12:24 PM): I cant say theres absoulutely nothing left, but with time that will fade away as well. Im not going back to it, not today, not ever. There has been a few times ive thought about you, then I quickly recall every single bad moment, and that is enough for me to tell you, its never gonna happen ever again. I dont know what else to say, im not sorry, because I did try. But sometimes thats not enough, Ill never forget you, but ill never go back. So that pretty much says anything, any second thoughts about I had of his feelings are now clear to me. Time to try and move on... 3 years of my life just wasted. It is only wasted if you allow it. You discovered you can love deeply and that is something wonderful and a very special gift you can give someone who deserves it. You discover how great a person you are in a relationship and now you get to discover how great of a person outside of one you are. You can spend your time healing and learning from this relationship. What changes can you make in yourself to help the next relationship better? What mistake syou made and how you can do to keep from repeating them? You can learn how to be happy on your own so you can be selective picking your next relationship. Do these things and those 3 years are not wasted but a precursor to you become a better person.
LovelyDaze Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 No, it wasn't a waste. You are just learning what kind of person you should really have in your life. Almost most people we date are only dress rehearsals. Yes, even being engaged, married 20 years, it doesn't matter. Each ex leads up to the one we are meant to be with and I always try to remind myself of that. Whatever you do, don't ask him to clarify that message.Leave it well enough alone. You deserve real love.
Author XKatieX Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 No, it wasn't a waste. You are just learning what kind of person you should really have in your life. Almost most people we date are only dress rehearsals. Yes, even being engaged, married 20 years, it doesn't matter. Each ex leads up to the one we are meant to be with and I always try to remind myself of that. Whatever you do, don't ask him to clarify that message.Leave it well enough alone. You deserve real love. There isn't anything to clarify from it. I was left with some questions about how he felt. He wondered if I had anyone else and I thought maybe he still cared, and there was a bit of hope. Basically there was too much damage that was done in the relationship. Could we have saved it two months ago before it got much much worse? Maybe so, but it just kept adding up to the point where there was nothing left. I don't believe we ever really tried and that was the last thing I said to him, I said if we really tried we wouldn't be here right now, and what could have been we will never know.
LovelyDaze Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 That is always so incredibly hard. There is ALWAYS more to say to our ex. Thing I have learned is that it is almost pointless. My ex and I "talked" it out and tried it again only to fail miserably the 2nd time around and here I am.
Author XKatieX Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Yeah it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense. If we really love someone so much, why doesn't it just work out..why does it just keep failing, when we want to be with the person so bad.
JaggedRoad Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Hang in there. I got a similar response from my ex a few weeks ago, and it does hurt. Just try to learn what you can from this and become a better person.
Boundary Problem Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 [quote=XKatieX;2524994I quickly recall every single bad moment, and that is enough for me to tell you, its never gonna happen ever again. 3 years of my life just wasted. I would go over the bad stuff, get some counselling, and just learn new coping behaviours to make the next relationship even better than this one. Look more deeply into why the relationship failed rather than just trying to get back together. Loving someone is never a waste. I'm sorry you feel this way. That was a very very crappy email to get. It also seemed very cold. I don't think they are still in love with you - which will help reduce some of the hold this relationship has on your heart and mind. When they fall out of love, it is the beginnings of letting go for you. Hope is what keeps the pain alive.
lilbelle Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 no more breadcrumbs, hopes, nothing, it has to be done sometimes. You will find someone better and be more in love than ever. Open up your heart to others and you can heal faster. Good luck
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