really bored Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 hello everyone, this is the usual post by guys that ive read so far on this site but i still would like advice i'm not too good in general with expressing my feelings or reading what others project towards me, so naturally being shy i have been alone my whole dating life, (almost 20) i meet girls that i want to date adn they generally have boyfriends or seem to be uninterested - i met a girl at school that is so amazing and if i had ever written down the perfect girl she would have matched it to a T - that was 4 months ago - she had a BF at the time so i decided to wait to try to ask her out - she is now my best friend and i missed all opprotunity to tell her how i feel because another guy beat me to the punch - he's a great guy and im happy that she is happy but now i cant get her out of my head which subsequently is hindering any hope of finding another girl - she said she would help me because she feels bad for me - she doesnt knwo how i feel about her though - anyway i need advice on tactics for meeting girls that i would want to date and how to cope with seeing my best friend and girl that i am in love with thanks
andreautick Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 You can't have a true and honest friendship with this girl unless you share your feelings because friendships are based on honesty, like any good relationship. I think you should tell her how you feel and preface it by saying "I know you're in a relationship, I'm not trying to disrepect that at all, but I need to be honest with you." As far as approaching girls to date, just try talking to them and smiling. Never fails on me (or, it didn't before I had a boyfriend). Just ask them how their day is even, or if they are in a class with you ask how they're doing in that class or how they liked the lecture..etc. Be sure to smile and be friendly and warm. If you repeat this a few times, and maybe throw in a compliment or too, they'll warm up and it will be easier to get a date with them. Good Luck!
Arabess Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by andreautick You can't have a true and honest friendship with this girl unless you share your feelings because friendships are based on honesty, like any good relationship. I think you should tell her how you feel and preface it by saying "I know you're in a relationship, I'm not trying to disrepect that at all, but I need to be honest with you." As far as approaching girls to date, just try talking to them and smiling. Never fails on me (or, it didn't before I had a boyfriend). Just ask them how their day is even, or if they are in a class with you ask how they're doing in that class or how they liked the lecture..etc. Be sure to smile and be friendly and warm. If you repeat this a few times, and maybe throw in a compliment or too, they'll warm up and it will be easier to get a date with them. Good Luck! Sounds like GREAT advice. Good Luck....'Really Bored'
Author really bored Posted December 17, 2003 Author Posted December 17, 2003 i will certainly give it a shot when it comes to talking to her, i want her to know but i really dont want to hurt her, so i will try the "im just trying to be honest approach" - and for the 2nd part, if i go up and talk to these girls, what is the best advice for not gettign stuck in the dreaded "friend zone" like my current situation? - is there a time frame for asking a girl out before she categorizes you? - it seems like every girl i meet sticks me there right away - i dont know if i am too nice - people generally all describe me as the nicest person they've ever met but i still get turned down because girls "don't want to lose a good friend" again thank you so much - this really helps me through a bad time
andreautick Posted December 17, 2003 Posted December 17, 2003 Yeah, I have met guys like that...where everyone puts them in the friend zone. I suspect that you are approaching them in a very cautious, friendly manner. That is good, but you need to be true to your intentions if you see them as more than a friend. So, from the beginning, compliment them in innocent ways and flirt a little. Make your intentions clear from the start, and you won't get put into that zone. It's easier to do that than to reinvent a friendship into romance, as you are finding out.
Author really bored Posted December 17, 2003 Author Posted December 17, 2003 thanks so much, when i get back to school in the spring i will certainly try everything i can do to talk to girls and more people in general and i will tell her how i feel and hopefully she wont be too hurt and will still want to hang out as much as we do now ok one more question - off topic, but are women generally more attracted to the guys that are skinny or overweight - im not going to say which category i fit into because i want an honest answer ill let you all know how it is going
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