mammax3 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Hi everyone. A lot of what I'm reading here has been so helpful and insightful. Since the demise of my marriage over 2.5 years ago I've worked on hard at understanding what happened and how I contributed, as well as growing as a person. I'm really liking the direction I'm heading. Over the course of the last few months there has been a man who has completely shown me another side of relationships - a side I've never seen before where there is no control, manipulation or power struggles and I love that. I really feel it's connecting with where I'm at in my own growth. The challenge I'm facing is that I'm so accustomed to a level of control or possessiveness in a relationship that I can't believe he likes me because he doesn't display his 'like' in ways I'm familiar. He's a busy man (and I'm a busy woman) so there literally is not a lot of time for us to be together, and he lives an hour away from me. I would think if he has a spare night that he'd want to spend it with me *if* he really liked me, but sometimes he wants to just hang out alone at his place (or whatever). I realize that self chill out time is important too, truly, but sometimes I can't seem to stop that sabotaging thought from creeping into my head. We have what I consider a very open relationship in terms of communicating our feelings, although there have been hints at being a couple, there are no definite convos around that specifically - but we have discussed how we're not seeing anyone else. However, I worry about continually bringing up this "do you like me?" topic because we have discussed it, he's said that yes, he does and I don't want this insecurity/issue to become a huge thing between us. I feel as though I need to find a way to chill out around his demonstration of liking me, and I also need to find a way to realize that 24/7 connections aren't necessary in an adult relationship. Does anyone have any suggestions on what has worked in their lives? Or what you see based on my post that you think could work? (If it helps, I'm in my early 30s, he's in his late 30s, we're both separated and have kids. He works 2 jobs, I work one and we've known each other for over a year) Thanks for reading.
Recommended Posts