Ophelia Rue Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I'm just wondering what the rest of you do in this small and mediochre (or not) situation. You're with your significant other. You're sitting together, watching TV, or something. They're clicking away on their phone. You're right next to them, so you sneak a little peek. You see an interesting name of a member of the opposite sex on their missed calls list. They don't say anything. You've never seen this name before. Do you a) keep your mouth shut but worry? b) ask who is that? c) do a full investigation? d) toss it aside as nothing to worry about? I'm just wondering what the NORMAL thing to do in this situation is. For right now, I'm at option A. Opinions? Past experience? THANKS! Ophie
Citizen Erased Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I would ask who it is. Save yourself time spent worrying.
Author Ophelia Rue Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 AHA. Yes. Ask who it is BUT look like the "jealous" suspicious girlfriend. Everything has a down side. LOL.
Citizen Erased Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 AHA. Yes. Ask who it is BUT look like the "jealous" suspicious girlfriend. Everything has a down side. LOL. I would much rather they think I'm being silly and jealous than turn into a raving jealous lunatic as a result of wondering who that person is. Believe me, I've seen people do that plenty of times.
boogieboy Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 As long as you dont nag him about it, he wont see you as insanely jealous. If he dismisses the question without a real answer, then you have to worry. If you feel you have to be lookin at the phone in the first place, theres a bigger problem.
Author Ophelia Rue Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 As long as you dont nag him about it, he wont see you as insanely jealous. If he dismisses the question without a real answer, then you have to worry. If you feel you have to be lookin at the phone in the first place, theres a bigger problem. Well, yes, there is a problem, I am a little suspicious because my last boyfriend did cheat on me quite vigorously, but I can't really take it out on my poor boyfriend. LOL.
Boundary Problem Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 raving jealous lunatic as a result of wondering who that person is. Some of us just trust 100%, when someone has proven themselves to be trustworthy. Who has time to go through someone else's phone? Mind you if it is discovered that there is an 'issue' I don't think I would give them a second chance.
CLC2008 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I'm just wondering what the rest of you do in this small and mediochre (or not) situation. You're with your significant other. You're sitting together, watching TV, or something. They're clicking away on their phone. You're right next to them, so you sneak a little peek. You see an interesting name of a member of the opposite sex on their missed calls list. They don't say anything. You've never seen this name before. Do you a) keep your mouth shut but worry? b) ask who is that? c) do a full investigation? d) toss it aside as nothing to worry about? I'm just wondering what the NORMAL thing to do in this situation is. For right now, I'm at option A. Opinions? Past experience? THANKS! Ophie I think if you ask in a non-confrontational way, but more so out of curiosity, that's ok. But if your memorizing your SO's phone log, questioning every single call, that's borderline excessive.
Citizen Erased Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Some of us just trust 100%, when someone has proven themselves to be trustworthy. Who has time to go through someone else's phone? Mind you if it is discovered that there is an 'issue' I don't think I would give them a second chance. I'm more the trust until they give me a reason not to type. If he really had something to hide he wouldn't be on his phone sitting next to her. Just my take on it. If she just asked with a curious tone of voice who it was I can't see him having a problem with her question. I agree, if there's any issue, out of there. I've been there, after an ex proved themself less than capable of retaining my trust, it drove me mad. Not worth the stress.
Author Ophelia Rue Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 I'm more the trust until they give me a reason not to type. If he really had something to hide he wouldn't be on his phone sitting next to her. Just my take on it. If she just asked with a curious tone of voice who it was I can't see him having a problem with her question. I agree, if there's any issue, out of there. I've been there, after an ex proved themself less than capable of retaining my trust, it drove me mad. Not worth the stress. Hmm. You're right! If he really had something to hide he WOULDN'T be going through his phone sitting RIGHT next to me, would he? That brings positive light and for that I thank you. <3<3<3
dazzle22 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 My husband liked to get on my case when he was my boyfriend that I was making too big a deal of it when by accident I found out he had a secret Myspace with a stable full of ex's he slept with and I was ticked. Then, I had a lot of trouble trusting him, and I never will 100% trust him because of that. One time I asked who a very sexy sounding woman's name on his phone was, and it was his dentist. Ha! Now, however, he often asks who called me when I get a text or he'll come to kiss me when I am on the internet, and steal a peek at what I am looking at....hmm, goes both ways...so he does it too, but he gave me grief about it! So I guess my point is, just give it a bit of time, and keep your eyes open. If he does something suspicious with his phone, like hide it all the time, then I'd be more suspicious, but it could be his dentist!
TheLoneSock Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I'm just wondering what the rest of you do in this small and mediochre (or not) situation. You're with your significant other. You're sitting together, watching TV, or something. They're clicking away on their phone. You're right next to them, so you sneak a little peek. You see an interesting name of a member of the opposite sex on their missed calls list. They don't say anything. You've never seen this name before. Do you a) keep your mouth shut but worry? b) ask who is that? c) do a full investigation? d) toss it aside as nothing to worry about? I'm just wondering what the NORMAL thing to do in this situation is. For right now, I'm at option A. Opinions? Past experience? THANKS! Ophie None of that sounded absurdly insecure at all... Leave baggage from past relationships at the door when you enter a new one.
CLC2008 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 My husband liked to get on my case when he was my boyfriend that I was making too big a deal of it when by accident I found out he had a secret Myspace with a stable full of ex's he slept with and I was ticked. Then, I had a lot of trouble trusting him, and I never will 100% trust him because of that. One time I asked who a very sexy sounding woman's name on his phone was, and it was his dentist. Ha! Now, however, he often asks who called me when I get a text or he'll come to kiss me when I am on the internet, and steal a peek at what I am looking at....hmm, goes both ways...so he does it too, but he gave me grief about it! So I guess my point is, just give it a bit of time, and keep your eyes open. If he does something suspicious with his phone, like hide it all the time, then I'd be more suspicious, but it could be his dentist! I had a separate page on MS, it was a total spoof page and quite funny if I do say so myself
Author Ophelia Rue Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 None of that sounded absurdly insecure at all... Leave baggage from past relationships at the door when you enter a new one. LOL. I'll take that as a ... um... not a compliment. OK. Your advice is sound. I am being a little absurd. Thanks. But the question of the original post is really what would YOU do in this situation, so that is really the initial inquiry.
TheLoneSock Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 LOL. I'll take that as a ... um... not a compliment. OK. Your advice is sound. I am being a little absurd. Thanks. But the question of the original post is really what would YOU do in this situation, so that is really the initial inquiry. Well, not to put you down, but I wouldn't be looking in the first place. I would just know that my girl deserves my trust, and that I am a far superior male specimen than any wannabe suitor that might be vying for her attention.
dudet Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Well, not to put you down, but I wouldn't be looking in the first place. I would just know that my girl deserves my trust, and that I am a far superior male specimen than any wannabe suitor that might be vying for her attention. funny stuff. you probably have lots of girls numbers in your phone to hide from your gf's....of course you tell her she shouldn't be looking lol
New Again Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I'm just wondering what the rest of you do in this small and mediochre (or not) situation. You're with your significant other. You're sitting together, watching TV, or something. They're clicking away on their phone. You're right next to them, so you sneak a little peek. You see an interesting name of a member of the opposite sex on their missed calls list. They don't say anything. You've never seen this name before. Do you a) keep your mouth shut but worry? b) ask who is that? c) do a full investigation? d) toss it aside as nothing to worry about? I'm just wondering what the NORMAL thing to do in this situation is. For right now, I'm at option A. Opinions? Past experience? THANKS! Ophie LOL. I'll take that as a ... um... not a compliment. OK. Your advice is sound. I am being a little absurd. Thanks. But the question of the original post is really what would YOU do in this situation, so that is really the initial inquiry. If I did happen to see, I would probably go with D). I trust my bf, and he also tends to tell me who he's texting, etc. if he's doing it in front of me - point being that he's very open about those things. I definitely dated someone in the past who I would've been taking options B and/or C. Recently my current bf was deleting texts in front of me and I happened to see that there was one or two from his ex, which for certain reasons I was not happen about. I didn't ask why they were in contact, or anything...and a couple days later he mentioned something about her in normal conversation and I'm sure that that was what the texts were about...but it again proved (in my mind) that he's open and trustworthy.
TheLoneSock Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 funny stuff. you probably have lots of girls numbers in your phone What does having lots of girls' numbers in my phone have to do with my fidelity?
Art_Critic Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 BUT look like the "jealous" suspicious girlfriend. But isn't that what you are ? Unless he has done something to deserve the mistrust from you then let it go.. He never hid the number from you..in fact he was using the phone in front of you.. There are a ton of missed calls on my phone that my wife has no idea about.. about 1/3 are business related 1/3 family/frined related and the other 1/3 wrong numbers or calls like from the blood vampires.. ( the red cross ). Try and stop the jealousy.. and honestly if you have a question about something like that then just bring it up when you see the screen..
dudet Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 What does having lots of girls' numbers in my phone have to do with my fidelity? duh. a lot of guys who have a phone full of girls numbers are players or up to no good. no offense, but you kinda struck me as that way
TheLoneSock Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 duh. a lot of guys who have a phone full of girls numbers are players or up to no good. no offense, but you kinda struck me as that way Lol I'm amazed I struck you as anything, since you don't know anything about me, at all.
dudet Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Lol I'm amazed I struck you as anything, since you don't know anything about me, at all. i saw some of your posts ...they raise questioning in my opinion especially the recent one about the first thing comes to mind, when you see a girls body . your response is " i want to F her brains out" amongst a few other degrading things..
TheLoneSock Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 i saw some of your posts ...they raise questioning in my opinion especially the recent one about the first thing comes to mind, when you see a girls body . your response is " i want to F her brains out" amongst a few other degrading things.. Actually that was pure honesty, players are rarely honest. 'Duh'. I feel you are in danger of getting played, because you cannot recognize the true signs of a player. Be careful out there, dudet.
CLC2008 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 i saw some of your posts ...they raise questioning in my opinion especially the recent one about the first thing comes to mind, when you see a girls body . your response is " i want to F her brains out" amongst a few other degrading things.. Dudet is a stinker
J dub Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 ok, you saw it - it happens, no way to take it back now. Just ask! Sometimes it adds a little "territorial" element to the relationship (ie some people like to feel that side of their SO being a little jealous), the more you let it simmer, the more explosive it will be when it finally comes to a head. Example: Him: hey honey, whats shakin?" You: not much, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE TELLING ME WHATS "SHAKIN", HMMMMMMM?????? *HANDS ON HIPS* him: -silence- ...yeah. It happens. Anyway, I would just ask.
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