wheelwright Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 (edited) After questioning my M for several years I fell in love and had an EMA. Didn't tell H about A, but immediately split up and put the house on the market etc. 6 months later, and xMOM is out of the picture, and I am trying fairly successfully to reconcile with my H. I want to do this. But every morning I wake up depressed and do not want to get out of bed. I have never suffered depresson before. Once I get up, I am pretty positive all day. Loving to my H and grateful for the good things in my life. And relieved that there is no deceit in my life now (I hated it). So why do I wake up with a severely impaired will to live? Is this my subconscious talking? Should I listen given that listening to my emotions recently led me on a rollercoaster to hell? It's as if every day I get myself into a healthy way of thinking, only to wake up with this dead feeling. I have kids. My life is good. I want to experience it with happiness. My H is a good man and I can't imagine being with anyone I liked more. At times I feel love for him again. I think I had to kill something in myself to get over the xMOM. Hence the dead feeling. But surely what I killed was a bad thing anyway? Edited December 6, 2009 by wheelwright Change of title
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