muse08 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 She could also just be cheating cause she is a player herself. I dunno if its just me but most of your posts seem to be trying even obliquely to blame men for all the problems in any relationship issue. Honestly, I'm not. Didn't you read my post about the friend I have who "got her man, before he got her"...that was just wrong. I admitted that. Some women and men are just selfish and that's what it boils down to. However, in MOST marriages, the man is the one who cheats or ABUSES...often with more than just one other female...that's what so crazy,lol. It's all over the news...and that's just the celebrities...what about all the other non-celebrities... I try to be fair. In this thread I really just want to be educated by MEN as to why you all cheat.
muse08 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 She could also just be cheating cause she is a player herself. You're absolutely right about this!
AD1980 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Honestly, I'm not. Didn't you read my post about the friend I have who "got her man, before he got her"...that was just wrong. I admitted that. Some women and men are just selfish and that's what it boils down to. However, in MOST marriages, the man is the one who cheats False,Women are cheaitng now more the never and just as much as men
rateyes Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Woggle, thanks for the response. But you know what, I just assume that most men are just evil and selfish and don't care... Is that not correct. Do most men have this "don't get got" mentality regarding the playing field or is that just YOU talking...? I'm truly curious! OTHER GUYS PLZ CHIME IN AS WELL))) yes i am, because of past experiences with girls...most things with men being this way can go back a women hurtin a man extremely bad.
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 In this thread I really just want to be educated by MEN as to why you all cheat. Then you should start a thread for that as cheating isn't the actual topic of this thread. This thread is about the supposed pro's and con's known by those, ppl like to mislabel to as players. Just because a person may be a "player" dosen't mean they are also cheaters. People who are not players are perfectly capable, willing and do cheat. Everyone is a player. Not every "player" is a cheater. My main issue is women tend to mislabel and vilify the wrong people as you are lumping everyone together.
bbf Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Then you should start a thread for that as cheating isn't the actual topic of this thread. This thread is about the supposed pro's and con's known by those, ppl like to mislabel to as players. Just because a person may be a "player" dosen't mean they are also cheaters. People who are not players are perfectly capable, willing and do cheat. Everyone is a player. Not every "player" is a cheater. My main issue is women tend to mislabel and vilify the wrong people as you are lumping everyone together. Your everyone is player definition is ridiculous. You're the only one who uses the word that way. Most normal people think of players as cheaters, or people who secretly have many partners at once.
rateyes Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Your everyone is player definition is ridiculous. You're the only one who uses the word that way. Most normal people think of players as cheaters, or people who secretly have many partners at once. i thought players where people who played people for something ie. sex? never heard ap layer being a cheater...wouldnt that just be a cheater?
Pyro Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Players, as referred to in this thread are those who are against committed relationships (whether its due to fear of commitment, no interest in comittment, or something else). They due have relationships with many partners at once, and for the most part they have to lie in order to keep this type of lifestyle going. As a guy I am a tad bit ashamed that so many other guys are sitting here blaming women for their relationship issues. I myself, like you other guys been cheated on/taken advantage of. Its not a good feeling at all, but its not the end of the world. You don't need to become an ass to get a womans attention. IMO, those are the wrong type of women to attract. There is a fine line between being a "nice" guy (doormat) and a jerk. Fall into that middle ground and maybe you won't be so bitter.
muse08 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) Your everyone is player definition is ridiculous. You're the only one who uses the word that way. Most normal people think of players as cheaters, or people who secretly have many partners at once. ignore him(referring to yukikazi). he must be drunk or think he's the boss...NOT. Edited December 9, 2009 by muse08
muse08 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Players, as referred to in this thread are those who are against committed relationships (whether its due to fear of commitment, no interest in comittment, or something else). They due have relationships with many partners at once, and for the most part they have to lie in order to keep this type of lifestyle going. As a guy I am a tad bit ashamed that so many other guys are sitting here blaming women for their relationship issues. I myself, like you other guys been cheated on/taken advantage of. Its not a good feeling at all, but its not the end of the world. You don't need to become an ass to get a womans attention. IMO, those are the wrong type of women to attract. There is a fine line between being a "nice" guy (doormat) and a jerk. Fall into that middle ground and maybe you won't be so bitter. Thanks for your intelligence and common sense PYRO...I'm doing all I can to ignore his (certain) comments. Sometimes ignorance just comes out of NOWHERE, literally...I'm glad some of us know what "Player" means;). You are a breath of fresh air in here, for sure. Thanks.
muse08 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Then you should start a thread for that as cheating isn't the actual topic of this thread. You have no authority in here and do not tell me or anyone else WHAT to post. Your brain must have fallen out somewhere in the middle of being 'played' so much, now you're bitter and deranged. So you may want to go purchase a brain sweetie at the store nearest you, ASAP. Shucks, I think you're out of luck...
Pyro Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Thanks for your intelligence and common sense PYRO...I'm doing all I can to ignore his (certain) comments. Sometimes ignorance just comes out of NOWHERE, literally...I'm glad some of us know what "Player" means;). You are a breath of fresh air in here, for sure. Thanks. You are welcome. I want both sides to see that there are still good and decent people out there. Not everyone(guys and girls) is out on a mission to betray and hurt their spouse. Thats very unrealistic to feel that way. All I am trying to get at is if I can get back on the horse after being betrayed then why can't everyone else?
MadDriver Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 wow that's sad, REALLY. No one WANTS to be hurt, yet we out here inflicting pain. Sounds similar to the idea that 'ABUSERS OFTEN ABUSE'. The abused grows up to become the abuser. The prey becomes the predator. And thus the cycle of suffering continues unabated... My personal belief is that players are indeed a direct response to women's sexual preferences. If women only had sex with guys wearing yellow fedora hats, fedora sales would go through the stratosphere in a few weeks... The abundance of players in the dating scene is simply because there is a market preference for it. By "player", let's use Gerard Butler from the movie "The Ugly Truth". For our purposes, there is little distinction between the character in the movie and the real-life actor -- they're both major league players. The more interesting question I've been pondering recently is why? What is the origin of such a preference? It's because some girls like drama... Nice guys are boring. To be with a boring guy is like watching a boring movie. Ask any writer what makes a good story (whether it be in a book format, theater, movie, or relationship format). It is conflict and tension, creating unpredictable events. Nice guys are completely predictable. Hence, boring... Even nice guys hate watching boring movies!
Awesome Username Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I'm surprised that at the rate of guys saying that they've become more open to the player way of thinking/lifestyle because of nasty women, what kind of women they were picking in the first place. If I found out a guy was a player, or even knew that he had played girls in the past for fun but now he's "good," I would drop him faster than a hot coal. I have respect for my fellow women and don't come to the conclusion that I am somehow on a different level of treatment than the women he's been with before. Of course if he's swine enough to do it behind my back the whole time I'd never know, right? This kind of thing is why I'm hesitant to date in general.
Pyro Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 The abused grows up to become the abuser. The prey becomes the predator. And thus the cycle of suffering continues unabated... My personal belief is that players are indeed a direct response to women's sexual preferences. If women only had sex with guys wearing yellow fedora hats, fedora sales would go through the stratosphere in a few weeks... The abundance of players in the dating scene is simply because there is a market preference for it. By "player", let's use Gerard Butler from the movie "The Ugly Truth". For our purposes, there is little distinction between the character in the movie and the real-life actor -- they're both major league players. The more interesting question I've been pondering recently is why? What is the origin of such a preference? It's because some girls like drama... Nice guys are boring. To be with a boring guy is like watching a boring movie. Ask any writer what makes a good story (whether it be in a book format, theater, movie, or relationship format). It is conflict and tension, creating unpredictable events. Nice guys are completely predictable. Hence, boring... Even nice guys hate watching boring movies! We still fail to recognize the need to have the balance in between. Be kind and considerate but don't be a pushover. Don't be afraid to speak your mind but listen when she wants to do the same Compromising DOES NOT mean that you are weak
MadDriver Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 If I found out a guy was a player, or even knew that he had played girls in the past for fun but now he's "good," I would drop him faster than a hot coal. In the context of this thread, "player" is someone who advertises the fact that they are players. You do n't need to find out that Gerard Butler is a player -- you meet him and you know in seconds that he is a player. By saying that you'd drop a guy if you found out he was a player implies that you did not think of him as such when you first met him... that's not a player.
Awesome Username Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 In the context of this thread, "player" is someone who advertises the fact that they are players. You do n't need to find out that Gerard Butler is a player -- you meet him and you know in seconds that he is a player. By saying that you'd drop a guy if you found out he was a player implies that you did not think of him as such when you first met him... that's not a player. Oh in that case, I'd avoid him. It's part of the reason I tend to avoid musician types - no amount of hot can chase away the feeling that you're a potential knot in a dude's belt. I'd certainly prefer to be single.
Rudderless Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Hi, I'm not meaning to bash players. I'm just curious about some things. What are the positives and negatives to being a player (both a male one or a female one)? Is being a player good for the community? Does it help the economy? Does it help bring unity to a group of people? Is it good for children for their parent(s) to be players? Why do some married people want to cease being married and become players? What does being a player mean, exactly? Any thoughts? Thanks. It's not a choice it's just something that happens as a result of a set of circumstances, usually as a result of something that happens which sets you off not to give that much of a crap anymore. Then you get the people that aspire to be damaged... sad.
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) Your brain must have fallen out somewhere in the middle of being 'played' so much, now you're bitter and deranged. So you may want to go purchase a brain sweetie at the store nearest you, ASAP. Shucks, I think you're out of luck... Resorting to name calling and insulting someone that disagrees with your viewpoint? Very 1st grade. Edited December 9, 2009 by Yukikazi
sally4sara Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 False,Women are cheaitng now more the never and just as much as men So now (that women do it as much) its a problem? How nice of women to do so and create a flimsy justification for men to act the way they always have. Men have always cheated. They cheated when women cow towed to them and waited on them hand and foot, they cheated when women were forced to depend on them for survival; it is no surprise men still cheat. But take notice that now, when women behave just as selfish, male behavior is the fault of women and not simple mirroring of the behavior men have always been afforded. How can anyone say men act this way because women taught them to be this way with a straight face? When women had no rights, no vote, no earnings, no voice, Women had to accept and respond favorably to predatory men. It wasn't simply because that is what women like. Now if anything, these horrible women you want to pin the blame on, are acting this way because it is what they learned - from men. Be a virgin till marriage, push out babies, keep a house clean and dinner on the table and your husband would still feel justified to have a side piece. What did that suggest if not that there was zero benefit in being a faithful loving wife and mother? So who taught who to be a player first? If women are now cheating just as much, do you really think it is because they don't like nice guys or could it possibly be they've learned men don't like or appreciate "nice girls"? We're having a chicken or egg debate here if I ever saw one........ Next someone is going to come along and say Klan members were taught by slaves to hate and discriminate against black folks.
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 We're having a chicken or egg debate here if I ever saw one........ Just an fyi.. the egg came first
Dexter Morgan Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 How about the greater risk of contracting one or more STDs? How about a greater risk of getting a random girl pregnant? bah, my x-wife put me at greater risk when we were married than I could ever put myself in if I were to be a player. How about the greater risk of meeting someone who is a complete psycho that may turn out to be an axe murderer? dats what the cops are for . and not being a player, I wound up with a humdinger in my x wife. So either way, this is a risk.
stillafool Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 When I think of a "playa" I think of a single man or woman who like to date different people and not commit to any one person. They are emotionally unavailable and hard to get into a relationship. I think married people who sneak around on the side are "cheaters" not a "playa". I don't think "playas'" have any more effect on society than anyone else. Just on the people who are foolish enough to fall in love with them and want to marry them. Those are the people with the problem.
threebyfate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Not all cheaters are players, but all players misrepresent their investment level in the multiple individuals they're playing, thus keeping them on a string, to be used or disposed of, at will.
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