Yukikazi Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 It's also good for hospitals. Drinking causes and anger and anger often results in violence. Ememgency rooms will be crowded and many expensive precedures will need to be performed. Fixed to illustrate the vague argument isn't really a valid one.
threebyfate Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 There's no doubt the members who believe they're players, hence the defensive/aggressive stances, when players are criticized. But what players fail to realize, is how easy it is to be predatory and how much more difficult to be an individual who cares and is cared for. Sure, you leave yourself open to hurt but if you're truly a strong individual, you WILL roll with life's punches and survive.
thegreatmoose Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Fixed to illustrate the vague argument isn't really a valid one. Not sure why I wrote "drinking". I meant "cheating". If you add everything up, players don't help the economy at all.
Yukikazi Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Not sure why I wrote "drinking". I meant "cheating". If you add everything up, players don't help the economy at all. LOL.. you didn't write drinking.. I "fixed" it as an example of how that was a strawman argument as drinking is more likely to cause those hospital problems then a slut is. Sorta like the same argument between drinking and smoking the green.. green may be illegal but it dosen't cause the same issues as drinking.. ala bar fights, drunk driving, beating people in a drunken rage.. etc.. Green just makes you wanna eat pizza and watch Family guy. i.e saying green is much worse then alchohol is a strawman arguement. But you are probably correct.. sluts don't help the economy..
Boundary Problem Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 There's no doubt the members who believe they're players, hence the defensive/aggressive stances, when players are criticized. But what players fail to realize, is how easy it is to be predatory and how much more difficult to be an individual who cares and is cared for. Sure, you leave yourself open to hurt but if you're truly a strong individual, you WILL roll with life's punches and survive. I agree with this. For true players their behaviour is conscious, but compulsive. I've always felt sorry for them because they do not get to enjoy intimacy. I can't imagine living my life in intimate isolation like that. As I described it to a friend "he has more friends than anyone I know, but he is the loneliest person I've ever met". That describes a player, or former player. Fortunately we're working on his loneliness problem. Turns out he was afraid of letting anyone get too close. So the player mantra is often a mask to protect a very very sensitive and lonely person whose trust has been broken so many times. But in the right circumstances, that trust can be rebuilt and personally I think that players make the best husbands. They understand women better than we understand ourselves.
dudet Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Fortunately we're working on his loneliness problem. Turns out he was afraid of letting anyone get too close. So the player mantra is often a mask to protect a very very sensitive and lonely person whose trust has been broken so many times. this is so what i was going to say:laugh:
TheLoneSock Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) there you are again, and oh look posting in thread specifically related to PLAYAS LOL. you seem to be so educated on this subject i'm sorry, you're right, I don't know you personally, but you know sometimes you just get this incredible vibe from a person? just from stuff they say, you can tell a lot about their intentions. Hey dudet, is it necessary that you have a comment for nearly every single one of my posts? I understand you're a fan, but you don't have to be a groupie. Edited December 9, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
TheLoneSock Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 I agree with this. For true players their behaviour is conscious, but compulsive. I've always felt sorry for them because they do not get to enjoy intimacy. I can't imagine living my life in intimate isolation like that. As I described it to a friend "he has more friends than anyone I know, but he is the loneliest person I've ever met". That describes a player, or former player. Fortunately we're working on his loneliness problem. Turns out he was afraid of letting anyone get too close. So the player mantra is often a mask to protect a very very sensitive and lonely person whose trust has been broken so many times. But in the right circumstances, that trust can be rebuilt and personally I think that players make the best husbands. They understand women better than we understand ourselves. Your friend was not a true player, he was a commitment phobe that used the player mantra as a shield. There is a difference.
TheLoneSock Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) There's no doubt the members who believe they're players, hence the defensive/aggressive stances, when players are criticized. I do hope you aren't talking about me. That would imply that you know me. Not once have I ever declared that I am a player, nor do I believe I am. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're talking about someone else. But what players fail to realize, is how easy it is to be predatory and how much more difficult to be an individual who cares and is cared for. Sure, you leave yourself open to hurt but if you're truly a strong individual, you WILL roll with life's punches and survive. It matters not what you think they fail to realize, nor does your own opinionative psychoanalysis. You may be confusing commitment-phobes with players, as Boundary did. Players have zero desire for the things you say they are missing out on, and they are keenly aware of it. Commitment-phobes, on the other hand, deep down do in fact want the things you speak of like caring and being cared for, they just don't know how to get it because of fear. Big difference. Edited December 9, 2009 by TheLoneSock typo
minutebyminute Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Gee, Imagine all those women he had to humiliate and leave devasted so that he could make good husband material.. Yeah I bet he is good, been around the block say 12, 24, 94 times or so. Worn out and tired I'm guessing any hole ol' do! If you even think in your gut you are close to a player, RUN LIKE HELL, unless, you like your heart to be tortured, your self esteem to be run into the ground, you like jealous games, or you are just plain stupid, which I think you are not, since you are asking all the right questions. Players like the conquest of winning you, it satisfies their over-inflated ego. They like to talk about themselves over and over, they are sexy and secretive. Let me tell you about the pain when you find out you've been played, it isn't pretty. Yes, smart women, professional women, housewives, students, etc. we are all targets. My advice to you, since you haven't slept with this person is go with all your instinct, don't tread this water or you will drown in pain and humiliation. On the bright side, there are so many wonderful men in this world, the old saying "curiousity killed the cat" or be curious and get hurt.
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 "curiousity killed the cat" or be curious and get hurt. Curiosity didn't kill the cat.. ignorance did
minutebyminute Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Curioustiy in this equation is, why does this guy think I'm so special, what is it about me?? Time passes, okay, we have had a relationship, but me knowing me says something is wrong.. . should I stay or should I go now (HA) Ignorance is . . my friend was played by him over a year ago, what do you think I should do??? He texts behind my back, he won't let his phone out of his sight, he has tons of girl friends, all his ex-lovers are psycho, it's really weird, but whenever I'm off, he always has other plans, oh, he's so cute, he called me at midnight and wanted to come over (after striking out at the bar)
Kristie16 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Can a guy be a player and be in a LTR? Like, flirt a lot with other women, control his girlfriend, etc? Or is that something entirely different?
dudet Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 There's no doubt the members who believe they're players, hence the defensive/aggressive stances, when players are criticized. your post couldn't get any more true LOL uh, a certain someone posting on here is getting awfully defensive and aggressive ...considering he's not a player..i'm sure you can figure out who:laugh:
AD1980 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) Theyres really not much down side..Tons of sex,respect from your men friends women all the time.. The idea that women are turned off by it and if they know a guy is a player they would pass is nonsesne.. My friend whos a player made out with just about every female in this social circle who knew about his epxloits with each other and these arent loose women or sluts theyre regular girls and they were all charmed and turned on by him and his looks.. Women cant stand on theyre soapbox all day and say theyd avoid these guys but the minute they get approached and charmed by a man theye attracted to all that goes out the window.. IF u want to say the negative is no companoniship or intimcy fine but its so easy for a plaeyr to get women that if he ever changes his tune and decides he wants a relationship he knows how easy it is for him to get women and accomplish that if he so chooses.. So with all the negatives that you hear about players it sure beats being an unattractive lonely guy who women ignore Edited December 9, 2009 by AD1980
minutebyminute Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 According to other player(s) replies, (a little post hitting will do the trick)there are differnt types of players. I think a player can be in a long term relationship, depending on what you have to offer, yet always keeping his eyes open for other possibilities. This is were your instinct kicks in. I need to be. . .more attentive, sexy, spontaneous, free willing, whatever. If it doesn't feel natural to have a relationship with this person and you feel you have to prove something to him not limited to anything, then you need to re-evaluate what you have. Play the one in question, you don't want to because you don't want that type of relationship THEN RUN! There are so many decent men out there, you just got caught in a players web. Again, I'm sorry, but tell everyone you know, so you can spare them the hurt.
Woggle Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Yes many players are afraid of intimacy anf closeness but it is because they tried to acheive with women and got their heart shredded. Mostly every player I know has been a nice guy and tried to commit to women but learned fast that it is often an exercise in futility. If women don't like players they need to stop rewarding them and stop punishing the men who actually do care about them. Until they can do that I don't want to hear any complaining from them.
AD1980 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 There are so many decent men out there, Try telling women that who all chase after the same small amount of guys Thast why some players operate so easy theyre combination of looks and charm make em seem like a rare commodity that women all fight for
TheLoneSock Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 This book would solve many of the issues some women in this thread have. I've bought it for all of my (female) cousins upon high school graduation since the week it came out. http://www.amazon.com/Act-Like-Lady-Think-Relationships/dp/0061728977 Not to throw guys in general under the bus, but it really is a good read for any girls/women in your life you wouldn't want getting hurt (yourselves included).
Pyro Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Yes many players are afraid of intimacy anf closeness but it is because they tried to acheive with women and got their heart shredded. Mostly every player I know has been a nice guy and tried to commit to women but learned fast that it is often an exercise in futility. If women don't like players they need to stop rewarding them and stop punishing the men who actually do care about them. Until they can do that I don't want to hear any complaining from them. and I suppose its wrong if there are women who are players because men have shredded their hearts?
minutebyminute Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Again, great for the player. Glad he hot all the hot sex, but at who's expense? Yeah, some women I suppose don't care, just want a hook up. In my experience, I have not met that many women without serious problems, which is sorry to say in comes the player. He prays on vulnerable women, women right out of relationships, women with esteem problems, etc. He is right there listening to these women tell him how he needs to love her. That's right all he does is listen and listen very close. He will parrot everything she says to him and make her feel like she is the only one in the world. As soon as he gets what he wants, the conquer is over the eye starts to wander. This is great husband material, YUK! How long before he gets bored with his new found love of his life? one month, two years? Who wants to be looking over their shoulder wondering what they can do for this person and leaving their own life behind? There is so much more than just the conquest of sex, like having some one who is truly king in your life for good.
Woggle Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 and I suppose its wrong if there are women who are players because men have shredded their hearts? Why do you always take the woman's side in every discussion?
Pyro Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Why do you always take the woman's side in every discussion? Because you generalize and group all women into one group and you have many double standards and you can be very hypocritical. I'm just making it fair for both sides, plus just like you I have been hurt in the past, but unlike you I am not afraid to commit again. Its not the end of the world if you get hurt.
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 This book would solve many of the issues some women in this thread have. I've bought it for all of my (female) cousins upon high school graduation since the week it came out. http://www.amazon.com/Act-Like-Lady-Think-Relationships/dp/0061728977 Not to throw guys in general under the bus, but it really is a good read for any girls/women in your life you wouldn't want getting hurt (yourselves included). Isn't Steve Harvey some comedian with a bad sitcom?
rateyes Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 (edited) Well, im not one(im a respectful guy who doesnt push a girl to do anything, i talk to her liek a person and not just some hole to stick my dick), but im thinkin of just being one. Every time i talk to a girl(who isnt a whore or a bitch) I get hurt. 1)Ive been ignored after hangin with a girl and having an amazing time. 2) I was a rebound then ignored without a reason to why she stopped talking to me, i stil to this day dont know why. It was going so well(i thought) i was going to ask her to be my GF then does this. 3)girl ****ed my best friend after saying how much she liked me 4)tried respecting a girl then she turns around and ****s another friend. 5) jsut this semester, a girl couldnt just tell me she wasnt interested, she had to try every way possible to ****ing avoid me and ignore me. I even tried the friends first, then ask out approach. These were all girls you would see and say, "ahh shes so sweet and nice" and werent known for playing around, usually strictly relationship girls.Why give respect when I get none back? Women wonder why men are so horrible. They never look at how they treat guys. They can blame themself for half the guys who are players(this is experience.). all the players i know say **** girls cuz all they do is hurt you in the end and im seeing why. I guess ive been scared by girls alot as many players have(that i know). Edited December 9, 2009 by rateyes
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