reneex061 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 So I have been dating my, now ex boyfriend, for 3 years on an off. Recently he had broken up with me(1-2 wks ago) and its been pretty rough for me. he seems very angry at me, even though hes the one who broke up with me. i had not done anything wrong to him. he is known for getting back with me and breaking up with me multiple times. each time we would break up, he would have a girl that he would hang around and talk to all the time, but he would never date any of them. i am thinking maybe he is still doing the same cycle with being around people after we break up. WELL, hes been hanging around this girl i guess. (his friends ex girlfriend, dumb right?) anyways..i guess they have been hanging out and goings to the movies and such. lately on their facebooks, theyve both have had smiley faces in their status..around the same time so i just assume theyve been hanging out. and also, the girl that he is hanging around with, she had just recently went through a break up with someone hes been with for over a year and really loved. well i actually asked if they are dating and he flipped out and told me to mind my own d**n business and that i dont need to know anything. i told him that i think that they are, and he said he doesnt care what i think. which usually means what i think is wrong but i really dont know.. i read on the internet that this is mainly the persons rebound after a long serious relationship and it never really lasts. I also read that most of the time they just date someone so that they dont have to deal with their pain and cant face it. do you think that she is just his rebound? i hope i have nothing to worry about. part of me wants to get over him, but another part of me just wants to try again with him in the future. i think he might be doing all of this to hurt me and i am not sure exactly why. i think hes cute me enough. The other day i was hanging out with one of my guy friends, and i my ex knew it. i think that he became mad about it and hung out with her to get back at me in a way. that same day previous to me hanging out with my friend, he seen us two talking and he gave me a really rude look. advice please? ,
Beeotch Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 So I have been dating my, now ex boyfriend, for 3 years on an off. Recently he had broken up with me(1-2 wks ago) and its been pretty rough for me. he seems very angry at me, even though hes the one who broke up with me. i had not done anything wrong to him. he is known for getting back with me and breaking up with me multiple times. each time we would break up, he would have a girl that he would hang around and talk to all the time, but he would never date any of them. i am thinking maybe he is still doing the same cycle with being around people after we break up. WELL, hes been hanging around this girl i guess. (his friends ex girlfriend, dumb right?) anyways..i guess they have been hanging out and goings to the movies and such. lately on their facebooks, theyve both have had smiley faces in their status..around the same time so i just assume theyve been hanging out. and also, the girl that he is hanging around with, she had just recently went through a break up with someone hes been with for over a year and really loved. well i actually asked if they are dating and he flipped out and told me to mind my own d**n business and that i dont need to know anything. i told him that i think that they are, and he said he doesnt care what i think. which usually means what i think is wrong but i really dont know.. i read on the internet that this is mainly the persons rebound after a long serious relationship and it never really lasts. I also read that most of the time they just date someone so that they dont have to deal with their pain and cant face it. do you think that she is just his rebound? i hope i have nothing to worry about. part of me wants to get over him, but another part of me just wants to try again with him in the future. i think he might be doing all of this to hurt me and i am not sure exactly why. i think hes cute me enough. The other day i was hanging out with one of my guy friends, and i my ex knew it. i think that he became mad about it and hung out with her to get back at me in a way. that same day previous to me hanging out with my friend, he seen us two talking and he gave me a really rude look. advice please? , My advice to you would be to get over him. When some people tell their stories...their relationship seems salvageable...from what you have said, multiple break ups, him running to other women to make you mad and all this childish stuff, it seems like you BOTH need to grow up. You speak about the childish things he does as if they are normal or as if you expect it and you sound like you are completely okay with him breaking up with you every now and again, talk to other women and then come back. I am sorry, but what kind of life is that? That is a mess. I think you should take a break from relationships and set some different standards for yourself and GROW..... If it is meant to be it will eventually work out but for now seems like you both need to grow up. Whether or not she is a rebound doesn't matter IMO, I think you have bigger fish to fry besides running after this man who so far seems to have no redeemable qualities, he is RUDE to you, HE initiates all your break ups to spite you and all this....like honestly, when you think of your ideal man, he should NOT be it...and if he is, then you really need to evaluate things. Sorry to sound harsh, but I hate seeing women or men settling for garbage and trying to hold on to garbage as if it is the best thing and not having high standards for themselves. I would tell the same thing to a friend, a daughter and I surely follow the advice myself. You will be better off for it
Author reneex061 Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 you know what, youre exactly right. i really shouldnt even worry about who he dates because i know he will treat her the same exact way he treated me. (i forgot to mention he was very abusive, with words and yelling) but im sure you could have guessed that by what he said to me when i just simply asked him a question. he has these cylces that he goes though. he breaks up with me, then finds a reason to get mad at me, tells me he doesnt want to be friends and deletes me off his facebook. he then runs to other girls to be friends with and then in time eventually comes back to me and tells me he misses me and all that. its happened the same exact way twice. and i honestly dont think i can deal with it any longer. i honestly dont think he will be happy with anyone that he is with because he is controlling and he has to have things his way, or they simply "aren't working out". i almost feel bad for myself for allowing things to get this way. its been 3 years and here i am sitting here worrying about what he is doing. i mean maybe in the future we both will change and things could work out, because when were together we do have an amazing connection and ive always felt like he was meant for me. but with how things have been over the years, im not sure that "he" is worth it to me anymore. i sometimes feel this way and other times i cry because i miss him. its actually pretty sad the things hes put me through and how hes made me into this person i am right now. its very very sad.. and i just wish i knew exactly how to get over him and how to let go of the good memories that we had. i always try thinking of the bad so i can get over him..but it never really helps me much.
Author reneex061 Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 still though, just the thought of him being with someone else still breaks my heart..
Torn_apart Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 You need to accept that this is really over and move on. I think much of the pain you feel stems from the fact that you are still clinging to hopes that he will come back. You need to focus on yourself now, forget all the what if and what nots. When the memories get to you, think of why you are suffering now. Is he worth it if he caused you this much pain? This is something i learned the hard way, if you don't love yourself, how can you love others. So start loving yourself and get rid of all that excess baggage in your heart.
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