Samantha0905 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Yup. This is how most of the walkaway wife stories start. She is falling out of love with her husband and unless she does some serious work on herself a divorce is in their future. I just think it would be kind of her to cut to the chase and leave her husband so she can live a free and passionette single life where she can fullfil all her fantasies. Oh BS. That's your ego talking. Allow the woman some hot and racy fantasies.
OneTwo Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Oh BS. That's your ego talking. Allow the woman some hot and racy fantasies. Yeah. Let her fantasize about a guy like me.
mem11363 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Restraining wife during sex - especially pinning her hands over her head - talking dominant, spanking her - also produce the desired reaction. Yeah. Let her fantasize about a guy like me.
Samantha0905 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Restraining wife during sex - especially pinning her hands over her head - talking dominant, spanking her - also produce the desired reaction. Yes, it does. Is there something wrong with that? I like it.
mem11363 Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Sam, Nothing wrong with it at all. I was simply sharing ideas about ways to touch some sexual hot spots inside a wife's head. Being alpha in bed is super fun. It just took a while to get past 30+ years of cultural conditioning during which time I was consistently told it was wrong to be physical (rough) with a female. Imagine how shocked I was my wife not only told me I "could" be rough, she told me I damn well better learn to be rough if I wanted to keep it fun for her. Yes, it does. Is there something wrong with that? I like it.
quankanne Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 OP, your fantasies are completely normal. After 17 years of marriage, I'll admit to being curious about what it would be like to be married to someone else ... or single ... or widowed ... or for that matter, a mom with children. It doesn't mean I love my husband (or my life) any less, just that I wonder about those things. It will only grow to be a problem when I obsess about these fantasies or try to live them out. Yup. This is how most of the walkaway wife stories start. She is falling out of love with her husband and unless she does some serious work on herself a divorce is in their future. I just think it would be kind of her to cut to the chase and leave her husband so she can live a free and passionate single life where she can fullfill all her fantasies. woggle, you're honestly convinced that some nameless poster is fixing to do the worst just because she's has these thoughts, so you bash her for it? Yet you insist on perpetuating your own particular fantasy about evil women who do horrible things to their men? as for "fulfilling all her fantasies," how many posts have we seen regarding this very thing? Of men wanting their women to go for threesomes, for anal sex or other sexual "ventures" that aren't appealing to these chicks? And be told that they're perfectly all right to demand this from their women?
Author Stardust82 Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 thanks for the affirmation that this was normal. i've never come close to anything that could be called cheating, never have plans to, i just feel guilty for fantasizing sometimes.
mem11363 Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 Stardust, Is your husband romantic? Is he volatile enough to be interesting / challenging? Are you in love with him? Do you crave sex with him? ALL my questions are predicated on the type of guy I would think someone has your screen name would want. Great screen name - nothing wrong with wanting some magic in your life. But magic comes from sparks and surprises, sometimes the best kind of magic is even scary. Your husband might be a great guy - but is he the guy you are in love with? If not acknowledge THAT and work on trying to help him. Guys can sometimes be molded more than you might think. thanks for the affirmation that this was normal. i've never come close to anything that could be called cheating, never have plans to, i just feel guilty for fantasizing sometimes.
Author Stardust82 Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 am i in love with him? absolutely. we have great conversations and he makes me laugh regularly. it's a good thing. is he romantic? not often. he works really hard and is usually tired at the end of the day. i like to let him rest and reload, i feel like it would be really cruel to expect so much after working his butt off all day. he's been really stressed out this past 8 months because they're laying people off and he's trying to look worth keeping to his employers. i feel bad putting more stress on him. on weekends sometimes we have wine with dinner. how do i mold him? after 8 hours of hard work, he likes to drink a beer or two and then nap, i don't blame him. work sucks. we also don't have a lot of money (i know, nobody does, this economy blows) so outside dates aren't really an option. does anyone have good ideas? i guess i miss being "woo'ed" and him flirting with me.
confusedinkansas Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 It is COMPLETELY normal! You probably feel the guilt because you are a woman. (we, more than men seem to have a little more guilt about these types of things - for whatever reason) I challenge ANY MAN in this forum to say he has NEVER EVER had a fantasy about another woman (a real woman, not a movie star, etc) People have fantasies every day of their lives. It happens. Does not mean that the original poster should LEAVE HER HUSBAND -- This statement here is what infuriates me about this forum. So many here automatically say LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE....Spare your poor husband what you MAY do someday!! Holy Crap people! Grow Up! It's Normal!!! I would hope that more marriages are HELPED in this forum, than hindered by the JUST CHUCK YOUR MARRIAGE.....attitude.
hoping2heal Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 i'm happily married, no real problems or drama in my relationship. my hubby is pretty much the best one could ever ask for. so, why is it that sometimes i think about other guys? i think about making out, going farther, what life would be like with them, etc. i've never, ever cheated (never would), and am really happy with where i'm at with my hubby. so why would i let my mind go into these directions? i have little fantasies and then i feel really horribly guilty about them. i don't want to leave him or anything, i just have little daydreams. sometimes i look at pictures or single's ads online. what's wrong with me, can i fix it? You sound bored actually. Like, on paper your relationship is "everything you could ever hope for." On paper. In reality, something is missing and you are not satisfied. You are going online to browse single ads, which is a notch above simply "fantasizing". I'm not suggesting you WILL cheat, but the fact that you are using a form of acting out i.e the browsing singles ads, illustrates something isn't right for you in the relationship- even though you think he is a wonderful person.
Woggle Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Men have been down the road her husband is on and in many cases have traveled it a few times. She is falling out of love and I think she needs to speed up the inevitable. The foundation under the marriage is collapsing so she should just demolish it.
mem11363 Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 You are a genuinely kind and appreciative wife. 5 stars for you stardust. Abstract fantasys are truly harmless. The closer a fantasy is tied to a real person the more hazardous it becomes to your marriage. So looking at classifieds is fine - but select classifieds from a far, far away city. Not your own city. am i in love with him? absolutely. we have great conversations and he makes me laugh regularly. it's a good thing. is he romantic? not often. he works really hard and is usually tired at the end of the day. i like to let him rest and reload, i feel like it would be really cruel to expect so much after working his butt off all day. he's been really stressed out this past 8 months because they're laying people off and he's trying to look worth keeping to his employers. i feel bad putting more stress on him. on weekends sometimes we have wine with dinner. how do i mold him? after 8 hours of hard work, he likes to drink a beer or two and then nap, i don't blame him. work sucks. we also don't have a lot of money (i know, nobody does, this economy blows) so outside dates aren't really an option. does anyone have good ideas? i guess i miss being "woo'ed" and him flirting with me.
Author Stardust82 Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 heh, i suppose I should have mentioned that from the start. They've always been ads from far away cities. None even in my state. I've never responded or emailed or anything like that. I just sometimes feel guilty for looking at them and imagining.
doushenka Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Oh, honey, that's on par with fantasizing about a favorite film star or something! Beloved gets a kick out of my nightly escapades with Robert Carlyle and Keith Olbermann. Have you considered sharing the storylines you imagine with your mate? Might give him fresh ideas...
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Restraining wife during sex - especially pinning her hands over her head - talking dominant, spanking her - also produce the desired reaction. I think mem and OneTwo have your answers wrapped up, here. LOL At least that's my opinion. Gees. If I ever get married again and down the road end up in your shoes, I am going to REMEMBER this thread because those answers sound spot-on. I guess it's the whole "familiarity breeds contempt." Maybe if he showed a different side of himself, he could excite you again. Find an erotic lit story that details this kind of a scenario and (if it really does do it for you) show it to him - telling him it got you all hot and bothered thinking of him in that role.
quankanne Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 fantasies aren't necessarily about a "need" for excitement, but sometimes curiosity in and of itself. I don't consider myself any less in love with my husband just because I fantasize about other scenarios. The reality is, he's the only one I truly want because what we have – imperfect though it may be – works. She is falling out of love and I think she needs to speed up the inevitable. The foundation under the marriage is collapsing so she should just demolish it. does this mean you're taking your own advice here regarding your unhappy marriage, and your fantasies about being a player and having kids? Or are you just being very, very biased because she's a woman, and you sincerely believe women are evil harpies out to suck the very souls of their menfolk?
HeyThere Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 She is falling out of love and I think she needs to speed up the inevitable. The foundation under the marriage is collapsing so she should just demolish it. Are you that unhappy in life that any uncomfortable issue you see needs to be destroyed? Or are you looking to get a rise out this forum?
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