DenverBachelor Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I am 5 days into PNC (permanent NC) and today I took a nap and my dreams are REALLY ramping up in intensity (realism) about my ex. I'm not sure how normal this all is, but I feel a bit setback by this afternoon's nap. One of my biggest discoveries about myself from the past relationship was that I was not intimate enough with her and did not show her as much affection as I could. This all stemming from my relationship with my mother when I was a kid. Well, in the dream, I remember we went into an old house together. They were laying children down on the ground and covering them up because they had suffocated somehow. My ex thought she recognized one of them and we pulled down the sheet. It looked like me as a kid. I remember I went somewhere else in the house and suddenly there was a violent earthquake/jolt and half the house had collapsed in on itself. The foundation had just ripped in half. I was screaming out for me ex and found her safe in another room. I then just grabbed her and started hugging her as hard as I ever have. I also remember being in the bathroom and opening the medicine cabinet and seeing bottles of opiates. That was a problem I had during our time together. I remember I slammed the cabinet in anger and the mirror broke into thousands of pieces. When I opened it back up, it was empty. I'm not sure why, after two months after the breakup, I am experiencing these dreams. They are increasing in their intensity and symbolism. At first, they were just nonsense but now they're becoming elaborate productions . Is this possibly due to my mind doing soul-searching and my dreams are acting out these introspections? Has anyone else ever had a resurgence of dreams well after their breakup? Thanks!
worldcavedin Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Thankfully my dreams are not as intense as yours, but i do dream about my ex. My dreams seem to be me asking her back and she keeps saying no. Then i dream about her and she is really honest in this dream about her new guy telling me how much she loves him and how he is so much better than me, this dream really really messes my whole day up as when i have this dream i wake up in a real foul mood. i know it is only a dream but when i wake up it is very consuming and it causes so much pain. I thought i was over the worst of it, but tbh i dont even think i have started the process yet. i can only repeat what i have read on here several times over, look forward let it go and it will get better, but i believe it also gets worse and hopefully that is also part of the proccess of moving on I am 5 days into PNC (permanent NC) and today I took a nap and my dreams are REALLY ramping up in intensity (realism) about my ex. I'm not sure how normal this all is, but I feel a bit setback by this afternoon's nap. One of my biggest discoveries about myself from the past relationship was that I was not intimate enough with her and did not show her as much affection as I could. This all stemming from my relationship with my mother when I was a kid. Well, in the dream, I remember we went into an old house together. They were laying children down on the ground and covering them up because they had suffocated somehow. My ex thought she recognized one of them and we pulled down the sheet. It looked like me as a kid. I remember I went somewhere else in the house and suddenly there was a violent earthquake/jolt and half the house had collapsed in on itself. The foundation had just ripped in half. I was screaming out for me ex and found her safe in another room. I then just grabbed her and started hugging her as hard as I ever have. I also remember being in the bathroom and opening the medicine cabinet and seeing bottles of opiates. That was a problem I had during our time together. I remember I slammed the cabinet in anger and the mirror broke into thousands of pieces. When I opened it back up, it was empty. I'm not sure why, after two months after the breakup, I am experiencing these dreams. They are increasing in their intensity and symbolism. At first, they were just nonsense but now they're becoming elaborate productions . Is this possibly due to my mind doing soul-searching and my dreams are acting out these introspections? Has anyone else ever had a resurgence of dreams well after their breakup? Thanks!
madrugada Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 DB, I'm right there with you. I still have vivid dreams about my ex, and waking up is always a setback. And as far as addictions go, I've also had dreams of me having to run a maze of past relationships just to get to the liquor store before it closed. Our weaknesses will haunt us. On that I have no advice but you seem poised to make a big comeback. Dreams suck. Hang in there.
WTRanger Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Your dreams are your dreams. They are simply some random interpretation of what is going through your mind at that time. Some people say dreams have meanings, some don't. I can tell you that I have had some seriously strange dreams about my most recent break up. They come and go. They stopped for about 2 weeks, now they came back. But these are different types. What do they mean? I really don't know. So, yes, your dreams are normal. If you think about cheeseburgers all day, I bet you will dream about cheeseburgers in some sort of way. Maybe not that night, but sometime soon. The same concept applies towards an ex. Let's face it, they are in our mind whether we like it or not.
broken79 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 My breakup was 5 months ago. Still dream about him. At first it was me trying to track him down to find out why he left the way he did. Then I started dreaming that I had found him and was able to ask him, but he would turn away without answering. About two months ago to present dreams feature him alot, but as a friend, we are talking, nothings wrong, he is just there in whatever setting my dream takes place in. I still have not talked to him at all, though, but apparently I've come to terms with that. I have gotten used to living without him, but I guess my unconcious is still so used to him being there. I don't know. Never dreamed about anybody else as much as I do him. Not quit sure what to make of it.
twinklecat Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I haven't had that many dreams about my ex in all honesty, went through a speight last week when I had a few, and they didn't make me feel as bad as I thought - most likely because I realized my ex, or rather the person I thought he was was a figment of my imagination.
countingstarsagain Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I've been broken up with my ex for almost two months now. We were in a very long term relationship. One of our problems was that he had went to college and started partying a lot. He would drink until he would pass out and also snort ritalin. It was terrifying for me. I wanted to stand by him and help him through this, but we ended up breaking up. I worry about him all the time. I had a dream last week that we were standing on a really high up porch. He was drunk and naked from the waist down. I told him to go in and put some shorts on. He came back out, dancing around, and said "I'm going to jump" and he jumped off the porch. I ran to the bottom where he was laying in a pool of blood, but still alive. I wrapped him up in a blanket and called 911. Then I woke up. Without knowing what happened. It was very traumatic for me. When I awoke, I wanted to badly to call him just to ensure he was okay, but I knew it would only set me back. However, I do believe just having the dream has set me back. I believe the dreams are our subconscious analysis of what's happening to us. For me, I think maybe this dream meant that no matter how much I want to help him and how much I love him, I can't control him. I can't force my love / help on him if he doesn't want it. It hurts like hell. I think maybe these dreams are allowing me to think more logically about what I'm going through and is also allowing me to accept it more and more. Best of luck man. You'll get through this. Just be strong and keep posting.
XKatieX Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I had a dream last night my ex was with someone else. Funny thing is, I never questioned him being with anyone else right now. So maybe its a sign that he soon will. Idk either way it just really messes up my day.
EricaH329 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 It's very odd that you mentioned that you had a dream about kids being strangled. I had a dream last night that I had a kid with my ex and while I wasn't looking, it suffocated. Turned dark blue and everything. I woke up freaking out. It definitely leaves a bad taste in your mouth. I, personally, believe that dreams are a form of the emotions you are going through. As far as dreams about your ex go, i've had many, many dreams about my ex. It's completely normal. As much as it may hurt when you wake up, I wouldn't let it ruin your day. It was, afterall, just a dream. The only thing real about it was the emotions you were feeling during it. But, you already know you have those emotions, so it's nothing new. As time goes on, the dreams will lessen. You just gotta push through it for now.
soheartbroken Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I am 5 days into PNC (permanent NC) and today I took a nap and my dreams are REALLY ramping up in intensity (realism) about my ex. I'm not sure why, after two months after the breakup, I am experiencing these dreams. They are increasing in their intensity and symbolism. At first, they were just nonsense but now they're becoming elaborate productions . Is this possibly due to my mind doing soul-searching and my dreams are acting out these introspections? Has anyone else ever had a resurgence of dreams well after their breakup? Thanks! I did not really dream about my ex until months after the breakup. I think I was in too much shock. As I posted on someone else's thread, I think my body/brain just knew I couldn't handle it at the time. You're making progress. And yes, the dreams will be as a result of all your introspections. Your mind is working overtime to sort things out and grow. I think this is all a positive sign. Have you thought about talking them out with someone who deals with dreams?
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