LovelyDaze Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 So, two months later after my ex dumped me for someone else, I met a nice guy at the store I shop at. We exchanged phone numbers & had a few really fun dates. Yesterday, he said he was going to call me from work to tell me when he was going to come pick me up today (Saturday)...haven't heard from him and he supposedly got off work at 3:00pm. I am ALREADY upset and want so much to call or text him to see what the deal is. I've been strongly advised by my friends and family to just drop it and let this new guy go. What do you guys think? Should I call even though he said HE would or let him call me(if he ever does again)?
trueblue72ny Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 i would let it go just because he said he was going to call and he didn't (talk about killing the mood) im sure there is probably a good reason and you will hear from him soon. if not, you are better off letting it go sooner than later. ya know? just pretend you dont give a daymn like your signature says.... thats my two cents.
Torn_apart Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Let it go, if he calls you, thats fine but do not call him. You can ill afford to suffer another setback now. Take it easy and enjoy the ride but before you allow yourself to sink in deeper, think carefully, is this really something you want or just a rebound.
Author LovelyDaze Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 Thanks guys. I am trying my best to live up to my signature but I become "human" all of the sudden and my feelings get the very best of me. Don't worry, I haven't called, texted, e-mailed or anything. ABSOLUTELY dying to reach for my phone and do it but I will stay strong. It's the hardest thing in the world though. I am usually so damn weak...
D-Lish Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Don't reach out to him. When someone says they are going to call and they don't- the last thing you should be doing is seeking them out for an explanation. It's easier said than done, I know- but he owes you a call, not the other way around. I find that deleting their number from my phone always helps me so I am not tempted.
Author LovelyDaze Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Thank you D-Lish. I haven't been going psycho lately by checking my phone every 3 minutes like I did last night. It would be embarrassing if he knew that. You have a great point that HE is the one who said he'd call. It's like if someone said they'd come pick you up from work and never does only for you to ask what happened and their response is, "Oh, I got too busy, Sorry!" This is just as unacceptable. I obviously don't mean that much to him enough for him to even send a lousy text that he doesn't feel like going out.
Boundary Problem Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Thank you D-Lish. I haven't been going psycho lately by checking my phone every 3 minutes like I did last night. It would be embarrassing if he knew that. You have a great point that HE is the one who said he'd call. It's like if someone said they'd come pick you up from work and never does only for you to ask what happened and their response is, "Oh, I got too busy, Sorry!" This is just as unacceptable. I obviously don't mean that much to him enough for him to even send a lousy text that he doesn't feel like going out. That is a deal-breaker for me. I dumped a guy over that once. When we make time for them, it is an inconvenience. And then for them to blow us off without explanation (or warning) is disrespectful of our time.
D-Lish Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Thank you D-Lish. I haven't been going psycho lately by checking my phone every 3 minutes like I did last night. It would be embarrassing if he knew that. You have a great point that HE is the one who said he'd call. It's like if someone said they'd come pick you up from work and never does only for you to ask what happened and their response is, "Oh, I got too busy, Sorry!" This is just as unacceptable. I obviously don't mean that much to him enough for him to even send a lousy text that he doesn't feel like going out. We've all been there- checking our phone over and over. I know I do that when I am excited about someone! It is unacceptable that he said he was going to call and didn't. If you were to text him after he did that it would be tantamount to letting him know you are okay with this kind of treatment.
Author LovelyDaze Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 That is a deal-breaker for me. I dumped a guy over that once. When we make time for them, it is an inconvenience. And then for them to blow us off without explanation (or warning) is disrespectful of our time. Exactly...and the sad part is, I know NC is the only way to keep my dignity yet I will probably NEVER know why he didn't want to call me. D-Lish is right about me not texting too. I pretended to do it in my head. He probably wouldn't answer back or ;at best, make up something to cover it all up. I wouldn't win contacting him and I know I need to be careful not to nag him like I am his wife if he does call.
Boundary Problem Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Exactly...and the sad part is, I know NC is the only way to keep my dignity yet I will probably NEVER know why he didn't want to call me. D-Lish is right about me not texting too. I pretended to do it in my head. He probably wouldn't answer back or ;at best, make up something to cover it all up. I wouldn't win contacting him and I know I need to be careful not to nag him like I am his wife if he does call. The fact is that he casually makes plans and doesn't keep them. He doesn't value his time, therefore he doesn't value your time. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't value his own time is the way I see it. I see it as a total turn-off. Time is such a valuable resource.
Author LovelyDaze Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Love that Boundary Problem. He did blow a lot of smoke up my behind Friday night. A little voice told me that he didn't sound 100% sincere. Little enough for me to not hear it well unfortunately. Unless I find out he had amnesia and was in the local hospital, I know I can't give him another chance. That red flag is too gigantic for me to ignore.
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