Sunset Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 (edited) I was having the affair hence I post here. Just a quick question please... Why would the man I was having affair with send me photo of him with new girlfriend asking me if I thought they looked lovely together? PS I replied and said yes you look lovely together. Don't want to repost history unless asked, just thought I would ask for initial thoughts on motive, thanks. Edited December 6, 2009 by Sunset correcting english
Fallen Angel Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 The only motive I can come up with, is to hurt you. Did you dump him? Was he a married man? Or you a married woman?
Devil Inside Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I'm assuming you were married and he was not..is that true? Did you break it off with him? I agree with FA here...it sounds kind of mean. How were things left after it ended?
jennie-jennie Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I must admit at times, especiallly in the beginning of the affair, I would fantasize about introducing my new boyfriend to MM. I think it was because I felt so hurt and rejected. I wanted to show him I had someone and didn't need him. Perhaps something like this lies behind what your affair partner did?
Fallen Angel Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I must admit at times, especiallly in the beginning of the affair, I would fantasize about introducing my new boyfriend to MM. I think it was because I felt so hurt and rejected. I wanted to show him I had someone and didn't need him. Perhaps something like this lies behind what your affair partner did? Me too, sometimes, jennie... now if only I could find some 20 something, six foot two Adonis willing to date me so I could just do it!!! *sigh*
Boundary Problem Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 If he was indifferent to you, he wouldn't have bothered sending you the photo. You have to think like a man on this one. He wants you to see that you don't have power over him anymore (which is sort of contradicted by his decision to spend his time emailing the photo to you). Bottom line: he still likes you.
moaningmyrtle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 OW are often told on LS that the best way of moving on is to live a good life and if necessary show the MM that this is what you are doing. Maybe it's his way of showing you that he has moved on and is living a good life. It's not necessarily that you still have power over him or that he still wants you. OTOH maybe he is being intentionally cruel. I don't really know but I think several scenarios could fit with what 's happened.
Art_Critic Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Why would the man I was having affair with send me photo of him with new girlfriend asking me if I thought they looked lovely together? The bigger question is why you would think him doing that would be okay.. you replied..why ? The guy is shoving another affair that he is having in the face of someone he is having an affair with.. What do you even find remotely attractive about the guy.. He is a douche and you need to dump him and NEVER speak to him again.. Start showing yourself the respect you deserve..
hopeless4u Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 If you was M and he was S and you dumped him then yes I think it would be to show you he'd moved on and I have thought many times and still do that one day I will make sure my xMM see's me with someone else, he says it makes him sick to think of me with someone else:lmao: My time will come and when it does my healing will be done!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I've heard MM and OW refer to their affair partner as their 'best friend' - perhaps this is one guy who really does think that they are friends in a genuine sense and he wants her to be happy for him and his new girlfriend? Either that or he is just being a passive aggressive douchebag.
Samantha0905 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 If he was indifferent to you, he wouldn't have bothered sending you the photo. You have to think like a man on this one. He wants you to see that you don't have power over him anymore (which is sort of contradicted by his decision to spend his time emailing the photo to you). Bottom line: he still likes you. This. If you was M and he was S and you dumped him then yes I think it would be to show you he'd moved on and I have thought many times and still do that one day I will make sure my xMM see's me with someone else, he says it makes him sick to think of me with someone else:lmao: My time will come and when it does my healing will be done!! That's pretty childish. Really? It sounds a person who would get satisfaction out of that is still carrying a torch.
Author Sunset Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 He was not attached it was me. I am getting on with my life but I still have feelings for him. I havent seen him for 3 years but we have emailed occasionally. I replied because I did not want to come accross as some old bitter ex. His girlfriend is not as nice as me though ladies so small pleasures...
temple Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Hmm! That's a little odd, maybe he still wants you around and to feel as though he has some sort of hold over you?
Brokenlady Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Sounds like passive agressive immature lashing out. Probably trying to get a response out of you, incite jealousy. If it's any comfort, it means he's still thinking enough about you to want to poke you with a sharp stick. He's on the playground pulling your pigtails. I'd ignore him from now on if you can.
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