onewillburn Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 i screwed up real bad and broke nc. a friend tells me that my ex wrote a blog talking about how horrible our relationship was and how shes glad she got out of it and bla blah blah. but the worst part was...she says i was abusive emotionally and physically! what the ****? she had accused me of being emotionally abusive before...but the phsyical part? without really thinking i call her and say "so...what's up with spreading lies about me abusing you?" and she just flips out about how i ****ed her up, etc. hangs up the phone on me, i call again a few times and text her to call me back. i'm honestly still kind of surprised at all of this. i dont like that i broke nc at all. but i cant let somebody spread misinformation about me. this is really ****ed up. dont know what to do. my heart is kind of racing still from the heated conversation.
Author onewillburn Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 i know. it's just that obviously my stomach is turning in a weird way. it's so hard to hear that somebody you've been with is saying things like that about you. and i cant believe i just went right back into relationship mode by trying to call her and resolve the issue. i sent her a message on facebook pretty much saying that after six months apart, i can't be the scapegoat for her issues anymore. it was actually a civil message and at the end i wished her well which actually came fairly easy. aggh. she has so many goddamned issues. she actually physically abused me plenty of times. i'm just so...blah right now. i can't believe i'm participating in this kind of a life right now...
DenverBachelor Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 aggh. she has so many goddamned issues. she actually physically abused me plenty of times. i'm just so...blah right now. i can't believe i'm participating in this kind of a life right now... When I confronted my ex about lying and cheating on me and she put on an act like I was full of ****, I realized something. Some people live in an alternate reality that they construct because of guilt, depression, etc. What I realized is that if she was willing to lie to my face about what she did when I KNEW the truth, I was suddenly on a level where I could look down and say, "you know, she's got some huge issues and she can't even be truthful to herself." In the end, it isn't worth being in a relationship with someone who can lie to themselves. I even looked at her and said, "It's just you, me and God. And you can stand there and say whatever you believe but we both know it is a lie -- and here you are continuing to lie." She just jumped on the elevator and said, "believe what you want if it makes you feel better." Some people actually lie to themselves so much, it becomes their reality and they can't even acknowledge the lie. It is sad, but you don't want to go through life with someone like that and that is why I wrote her out of my life. I don't need people like that in my life. They're the lowest pieces of **** you can meet.
DustySaltus Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I'm sorry you have to go through something like this, i've been there. Listen to Grayclouds, stick to NC. There's nothing to gain from having conversations with her. Lord only knows what my EX said to her family who loved me after we broke our engagement. It angered me to no end thinking about it. But in my head and my heart i knew that I did nothing wrong. We all get into fights in our relationships and that's when people's characters are tested. There are three sides to every story. Her friends will believe her, your friends will believe you and to be honest everyone else probably won't give a ****. Stick to NC and let yourself heal. Be the bigger man.
Trinitron Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 When will you guys realize that we recommend NC for a reason? Yes, yes its to help you get over the break quicker, but its also to alleviate the pain of what just happened to you. Look, I'm not an expert at any of this stuff, but I am an expert at being used, and being a doormat. The one thing I do know is when you decide to go NC, you better mean it. Trinitron
Tsokoholic Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I've been through something similar. I've been dumped by my ex twice. A week after the 1st break-up, I honestly believed that he still loved me and he still wanted to work things out so I agreed to give us another chance. He told me he was happy with me and couldn't ask for a better gf.. blah,blah.. It lasted a month until he broke it off as he met someone else. He wrote this blog recently telling everyone that he lost his love for me months before the 1st break-up. He said I was just oblivious to the hints he was giving. He made it look like I was just desperate for him, as if I begged him to come back to me (I didn't btw. I wouldn't have agreed to a second chance if he didn't tell me all those things.). I understand how you can break your resolve of maintaining NC. It's infuriating that someone is depicting you in a manner that you know is completely false. You want her to take back what she said because people who read her blog might believe it's true. Keep your chin up. Go back to NC. Let people believe what they want to believe. All that matters is you know what really happened. I know it's hard to suffer in silence, but in the long run, it's the best thing for you.
Author onewillburn Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 Yeah, I'm mad that I cracked and gave her a reaction at all. I do like the fact that I sent her the message, though, because I have healed in a lot of ways and have absolutely no desire to be with this girl whatsoever. I'm glad I've taken the higher road in that respect, but the highest road would have been to just ignore it completely. Her behavior since we've broken up has only confirmed previous suspicions I've had about her, and it's unfortunate but it doesn't hurt as much as it might have a month or two ago which must be a good sign. But, yeah, Christmas is coming up so I'm just looking forward to a lot of good times with my family and friends.
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