sheithappens Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 I like how they all try to justify there relationships, deep down they know its a crock of SH*T but i guess they try to jam the knife more with " I have known them for a long time" ," I have always been attracted to them and stuff", did he admit it was a rebound? my ex totally denies being in a rebound relationship but I have a gut feeling it is simply at the fact that she still calls me and also because the dude is the total opposite of me and we were together 5 years
Author Beeotch Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 I could not have said these words any better myself. Not only does this apply strongly to your situation, but it also applies to my own. The only difference between our situations, is that my ex is always telling me how much he loves me and misses me and wants me to wait for him. Wait for what? For him to figure out his own sh*t? So I would basically sit around listening to all of these 'I love you's' and him expressing adoration for me, but without any real actions behind them? I would give an arm and a leg for the person that I love. And even though I do not expect for the person I love to do that in return, I do expect something. Something worthy of me continuing my love for them. I feel as though you are in the same situation. I know it's hard because you want to be there for him, but he needs to figure out his own life before he can involve (or even begin to think of involving) anyone else. This will be hard, i'm not going to lie. I had to tell my ex a few days ago that i'm not going to wait around for him any longer. I deserve someone to show me they care, instead of just saying the words. I deserve more. And until I find that, i'm going to be single, without any strings attached. You are strong, you will be able to do this. Keep in mind, though, that it won't be easy. You just need to keep reminding yourself that you are better than this. The empowerment I recieved from not allowing my ex to take advantage of me anymore is exactly what's going to get me through this tough time. Use that, as I did, to your advantage. Good luck! I'll be here with you the whole way, if you need me. Awwww....that's really sweet of you, thank you! I'm doing fine now, well not that I wasn't doing fine before. You as well as my bestfriend helped me to put things into perspective. She knows the ins and outs of the scenario and she is actually compassionate towards my ex, maybe even more than I am. She reminded me that I know his issues for a reason and that the things I was expecting of him and how I went about our conversation would not work.....it makes sense. I was telling her that I do expect him to magically be transformed and all this....but that can't happen. It is emotionally taxing on me....but it is undeniable that I am emotionally stronger and more emotionally intelligent than he is so I can't fight fire with fire. I have to keep myself in perspective as well and my own thoughts and actions because I too am not perfect and even if I have good intentions, if I go about it in the wrong way, it will be a disaster. I have decided though that I am taking things a day at a time. Not putting much investment into things and just living it a day at a time versus trying to make these elaborate mental plans about my ex and I which results in anxieties and fears. I will continue to look at our lives as separate and do me, with him on the side and take it in stride. Alsooooo....it's like last night I'm like God please help me figure out what to do, and its almost like everytime I hate him or cant be bothered, something arises to make me change my mind a little. I woke up to a text from him this morning, nothing special special, just him wishing me good luck on my final exams....and then it softens my heart to make me realize he does try and does care but the point is his issues surround those things. All hope isn't loss for him, I guess the thing is, me having the strength and how to balance my fears.
Author Beeotch Posted December 15, 2009 Author Posted December 15, 2009 I like how they all try to justify there relationships, deep down they know its a crock of SH*T but i guess they try to jam the knife more with " I have known them for a long time" ," I have always been attracted to them and stuff", did he admit it was a rebound? my ex totally denies being in a rebound relationship but I have a gut feeling it is simply at the fact that she still calls me and also because the dude is the total opposite of me and we were together 5 years LOL. No...he hasn't admitted it, but literally reading what a rebound is....it follows all the rules and patterns. But he feels like because he waited two months it wasn't and I don't think he realizes that rebounds are about misplaced feelings not the time period. Once you still like/inlove with your ex, still think of them in your new relationship, reach out to them etc....that means you are probably rebounding. He never spoke about this girl, when he did on his Twitter it was always these negative things that made her seem so annoying and foolish, on Facebook she would comment all over his page saying she loved him and he would never say anything back about it, he came to visit me at 11 at night one Saturday because he was thinking of me, he called me another time saying he was thinking of me because he went someplace we had gone to when we were together, another time he calls saying he is checking on me, he texted me at 3 am saying his ex wife was telling how I was pretty (lies, I believe he was the one thinking it). He would put these quotes up on Twitter about I can't sleep now that you're gone, why do you ignore me when I'm trying to get at you (mind you his ex rebound did not have Twitter so that was where he went and said the negative stuff and his true feelings I believe).....all these things that I'm like you wouldn't be saying about her so who are you talking about? He would be talking about stripclubs (which he never went to when we were together), even saying how he gave some woman his number and all this...and I'm like honestly during that relationship he did not seem like someone who was taken. You're telling me that was a real relationship???? OH PLEASE But he won't admit it...but I'm not stupid so I will let him hold on to his denial.
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