joshyboy Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 ok i have to admit that i am very jealous boyfriend. ok before me my girlfriend cheated on every guy she dated she told me this. she said she will never do it to me. she has mostley guy friends which makes me jealous because i dont want her to hang out with guys except me. im so afraid she will start to like one of her friends and break up with me that i get so worried i tell her to stop talking to them. well she says she wont change her friends for me and that i have nothing to worry about and to stop worrying so much. i love her and she loves me but shouldnt she respect me enough to stop hanging out with all these guys that like her so much? is this bad or wrong to worry about because i need some serious advice quick before i lose her completely pleae help me!!!
You'reasian Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) ok i have to admit that i am very jealous boyfriend. ok before me my girlfriend cheated on every guy she dated she told me this. she said she will never do it to me. she has mostley guy friends which makes me jealous because i dont want her to hang out with guys except me. im so afraid she will start to like one of her friends and break up with me that i get so worried i tell her to stop talking to them. well she says she wont change her friends for me and that i have nothing to worry about and to stop worrying so much. i love her and she loves me but shouldnt she respect me enough to stop hanging out with all these guys that like her so much? is this bad or wrong to worry about because i need some serious advice quick before i lose her completely pleae help me!!! Is there a legitimate cause for you to be jealous? Think this through. If she's got guys under her wing, gets drunk, flirts with guys, gets their phone no.s and hell - even takes em home (when you're not around lol) that could be a sign. If she's an honest, down to earth gal who doesn't seek attention and has very few vices, she may be trustworthy. Trust your gut and think everything through. If you've got enough experience, you will find that it is right. Edited December 5, 2009 by You'reasian
You'reasian Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) ok i have to admit that i am very jealous boyfriend. ok before me my girlfriend cheated on every guy she dated she told me this. she said she will never do it to me. she has mostley guy friends which makes me jealous because i dont want her to hang out with guys except me. im so afraid she will start to like one of her friends and break up with me that i get so worried i tell her to stop talking to them. well she says she wont change her friends for me and that i have nothing to worry about and to stop worrying so much. i love her and she loves me but shouldnt she respect me enough to stop hanging out with all these guys that like her so much? is this bad or wrong to worry about because i need some serious advice quick before i lose her completely pleae help me!!! Is it all you? or is it legitimate? Look at all of your female relationships. If you can think of a handfull of females whom you feel you could absolutely, completely trust in a relationship, there's something about the current partner that flags the non-trust. What are the triggers? What actions crossed the line? If nothing has crossed the line, chances are - ITS YOU, NOT HER and you need to fix your insecurities. Trust your gut above all else. You are right most of the time. Be with someone you can trust. Edited December 5, 2009 by You'reasian
Bryanp Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 She has told you that she has cheated on everyone of her past boyfriends. What does that tell you? She tells you she will not cheat on you. Don't you think she also said that to her previous boyfriends? Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
MichiganMan222 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 She has told you that she has cheated on everyone of her past boyfriends. What does that tell you? She tells you she will not cheat on you. Don't you think she also said that to her previous boyfriends? Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. I have to agree with this. I would have a tough time getting too terribly emotionally invested in light of this until I knew more. But rather than being hyper-jealous and dooming the relationship on that merit alone, I would probably spend some time trying to establish if my relationship with her was different than the past ones. Was she head-over-heels with any of these other guys? Were they cheaters or abusers? What's different? And if there isn't much difference, why would she not do the same thing here? I would definitely be getting some intel through idle conversation about things. How long were these relationships? How soon did she cheat? Why? What excuse does she give for it? Was it spontaneous or did something lead up to it? Was it ONS's or affairs? Is there a pattern? Drunkenness? Revenge? Lack of commitment to the guys? What? I'm not talking a third-degree here where you're blasting her with questions and demanding answers. Just lighthearted chit-chat and whatever she's willing to share. If she's not, then you'll just have to go with what she gives you. My gf cheated once on her now-ex-H but the circumstances were a stark contrast to our relationship. It was many years ago to. She was so riddled with guilt, she confessed the next night and he forgave her. Knowing all this, I'm not worried about it at all.
You'reasian Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I have to agree with this. I would have a tough time getting too terribly emotionally invested in light of this until I knew more. But rather than being hyper-jealous and dooming the relationship on that merit alone, I would probably spend some time trying to establish if my relationship with her was different than the past ones. Was she head-over-heels with any of these other guys? Were they cheaters or abusers? What's different? And if there isn't much difference, why would she not do the same thing here? I would definitely be getting some intel through idle conversation about things. How long were these relationships? How soon did she cheat? Why? What excuse does she give for it? Was it spontaneous or did something lead up to it? Was it ONS's or affairs? Is there a pattern? Drunkenness? Revenge? Lack of commitment to the guys? What? I'm not talking a third-degree here where you're blasting her with questions and demanding answers. Just lighthearted chit-chat and whatever she's willing to share. If she's not, then you'll just have to go with what she gives you. . Excellent questions to ask and I agree about guarding your heart. Go with what she gives you, watch her actions and crossreference.
Recommended Posts