Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 Okay, if she first pursued you, why is she telling you that your Christmas party is just a friends thing? This is like one big mind ****. Enjoy! But why?? What is the point, why bother??
threebyfate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 But why?? What is the point, why bother??Exactly my sentiments! So why are you playing along?
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Agents issue was she didn't think she was ready.. She's told you its just friends.. though it was 2 weeks later. If she did pursue you.. did she stop before you mentioned the dinner? If in doubt.. simply treat her as a friend.. take her to dinner.. converse with her but give everyone else equal time.. drive her home.. give her a peck on the cheek and go home. It will depend on how she acts that night.. right now you are FZ'd.. unless you are getting together with her before the dinner.. its hard to figure.. it can go either way. She may be telling you one thing and may act in another when its time..
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 Agents issue was she didn't think she was ready.. She's told you its just friends.. though it was 2 weeks later. If she did pursue you.. did she stop before you mentioned the dinner? If in doubt.. simply treat her as a friend.. take her to dinner.. converse with her but give everyone else equal time.. drive her home.. give her a peck on the cheek and go home. It will depend on how she acts that night.. right now you are FZ'd.. unless you are getting together with her before the dinner.. its hard to figure.. it can go either way. She may be telling you one thing and may act in another when its time.. She's still playing games. I didn't contact her since Friday when she was here. She emailed me me yesterday with happy wishes. Then again today. Stupid me, emailed her when I got home from work, asking how her day went. I got a response saying she was busy... I suppose I'll find out Thursday then, that's when the dinner is..
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 Exactly my sentiments! So why are you playing along? So you being a woman, please tell me what she is doing?
threebyfate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 So you being a woman, please tell me what she is doing?I already gave you my take on it. She's stringing you along so you need to nip this in the bud. Get some honesty out of her and if you don't like the answer or if the answer isn't direct, walk.
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Stupid me, emailed her when I got home from work, asking how her day went. I got a response saying she was busy... I suppose I'll find out Thursday then, that's when the dinner is.. Not stupid.. you can't go NC on her before the dinner. If she emailed you 2 times already you owed her a response. Did she say she was busy or imply her day was busy?
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 Not stupid.. you can't go NC on her before the dinner. If she emailed you 2 times already you owed her a response. Did she say she was busy or imply her day was busy? Her day was busy, then no response after my email.
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 I already gave you my take on it. She's stringing you along so you need to nip this in the bud. Get some honesty out of her and if you don't like the answer or if the answer isn't direct, walk. Again, what is she stringing me along for?? What purpose? And what would be her point?
threebyfate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Again, what is she stringing me along for?? What purpose? And what would be her point?I'm not going to try to guess, since I can't get inside her head. But I do recognize a mind Eff when I see one.
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 I'm not going to try to guess, since I can't get inside her head. But I do recognize a mind Eff when I see one. Take a wild guess, I trust your woman's intuition..?
threebyfate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Take a wild guess, I trust your woman's intuition..?Exactly how did she "pursue" you at the very beginning?
Yukikazi Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Her day was busy, then no response after my email. So she mailed 2 times.. said her day was busy.. You responded.. and nothing since.. You gotta wait it out
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 Exactly how did she "pursue" you at the very beginning? Calling me, showing up at my work to bring me soup, telling me she'd wished she'd known I was a musician, single etc. I then asked if she was seeing someone, she said yes, but that she was getting rid of him, which she did two days later..
threebyfate Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 Calling me, showing up at my work to bring me soup, telling me she'd wished she'd known I was a musician, single etc. I then asked if she was seeing someone, she said yes, but that she was getting rid of him, which she did two days later..The above could also be construed as pursuing friendship and she enjoyed the attraction between you two, using it as an ego boost, so she's strong enough to exit her relationship, one she was already one foot out of. She could be playing you to intrigue you, a form of always being out of reach. This could also be an ego boost with no intent to go any further or this could be her, trying to get you to man up and take charge. But when you "told" her she was going to the Christmas party with you, she laughed, then came back with the b/s friends phrase. So, here you are now, wondering what's going on in her head, but allowing her to lead you by the nose ring. Isn't it time to get something more definitive from her, one way or the other? This JW thing and no sex before marriage is concerning. Are you willing to wait until marriage for sex? Do you really want to get involved with a JW?
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 O.K., so tomorrow night is the dinner, wish me luck!!
Angel1111 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Another problem is, she's Jehovah's witness(practicing) i'm Catholic(non practicing). I'm a former JW and if she is really into that religion, first of all, she wouldn't be dating someone outside the religion. That's a big no-no. You do realize that the religion is constantly putting down the Catholic religion, right? - so I see issues between the two of you right away. Her primary goal will be to convert you. Also, they don't celebrate any holidays or events except for wedding anniversaries and their version of Easter, which is called their Memorial. That means no Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's, New Year's, etc. It is nothing short of a cult religion. So what's she doing going to a Christmas party? Just cut ties with this girl. The religion alone will drive you to absolute madness. And if she remains in that religion, she will never even visit the Catholic church with you because they're told not to go into other places of worship. Run, don't walk, away from this mess.
Angel1111 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 As far as her statement to you about going as a friend, knowing her religious slant as I know it, I don't think she said that meaning that she isn't attracted to you. JWs are not supposed to have sex before marriage and if she's studying to be a JW, then I'm sure she has been warned by someone in the religion that 'worldly' men (as they refer to people outside their religion) expect sex outside of marriage. I think she said that to you so that you don't pressure her for sex. Again, why she's going to a Christmas celebration is beyond me. Either she's very new at the JW thing, or she's undecided. But just remember that if she buys into that religion and goes into it full-force, it will create huge rifts in your relationship because they're radical and they will consume a lot of her time - like 3 church meetings a week, for starters.
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 As far as her statement to you about going as a friend, knowing her religious slant as I know it, I don't think she said that meaning that she isn't attracted to you. JWs are not supposed to have sex before marriage and if she's studying to be a JW, then I'm sure she has been warned by someone in the religion that 'worldly' men (as they refer to people outside their religion) expect sex outside of marriage. I think she said that to you so that you don't pressure her for sex. Again, why she's going to a Christmas celebration is beyond me. Either she's very new at the JW thing, or she's undecided. But just remember that if she buys into that religion and goes into it full-force, it will create huge rifts in your relationship because they're radical and they will consume a lot of her time - like 3 church meetings a week, for starters. I totally understand Angel, Thank you so much for your response!!!! I hope you will continue to advise me in this circumstance, as I Highly regard your knowledge in this situation!!
Pink Cupcakes Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 So what happened? Did you take her to the dinner?
b52s Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 I'm a former JW and if she is really into that religion, first of all, she wouldn't be dating someone outside the religion. That's a big no-no. You do realize that the religion is constantly putting down the Catholic religion, right? - so I see issues between the two of you right away. Her primary goal will be to convert you. Also, they don't celebrate any holidays or events except for wedding anniversaries and their version of Easter, which is called their Memorial. That means no Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's, New Year's, etc. It is nothing short of a cult religion. So what's she doing going to a Christmas party? Just cut ties with this girl. The religion alone will drive you to absolute madness. And if she remains in that religion, she will never even visit the Catholic church with you because they're told not to go into other places of worship. Run, don't walk, away from this mess. Meh, most people date outside their religion, even JW's. Typically, as long as they have a belief Jesus (a Christian point of view) they'll date them. However, I can see how a Christian wouldn't date a Buddist or Jewish person.
Angel1111 Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 (edited) Meh, most people date outside their religion, even JW's. Typically, as long as they have a belief Jesus (a Christian point of view) they'll date them. However, I can see how a Christian wouldn't date a Buddist or Jewish person. The JW religion is a strict cult and, please, don't ever put them in the same category as other religions just because they believe in Jesus. Any JW that is dating outside the religion either is not that into it, or they're thinking about leaving it. JWs think that all people outside their religion are going to die at Armageddon and they believe that all non-JWs will tarnish them. Everyone. It doesn't matter what you do or what other church you go to - in their minds, if you're not a JW, you're doomed to die, and you are not to be socialized with because you can contaminate them with your sinful thinking. They don't want their members to even have friends outside the religion, much less date and marry someone who's not a JW. They used to frown on their members going to college but I believe that has now changed only because they have been losing members like crazy over the past several years - not to mention that they were spawning a bunch of uneducated members who couldn't function in the real world. In short, they don't like their members doing anything that takes their attention away from the religion. They consume a huge amount of their time, too - 3 meetings a week, plus studying for the meetings in between, plus preaching from door to door on weekends. They live and breath the religion, and their primary goal is to convert everyone they meet - which completely went against my grain even when I was young. You can actually be thrown out of the church for not doing door to door service. If you're baptized in the religion and decide to leave later, you had better hope that you don't have family in the religion because your family will disown you. I experienced this for myself. I lost a huge family over this religion, hence my total distaste for it. They ruined my life in many ways, and they have ruined many others. There are websites devoted to ex-JWs whose lives have been hurt so much. They actually stated in one of their publications that not only must family members disassociate themselves from family members who leave the religion, but also that in doing so they may be able to bring that family member back by not associating with them. So, basically, they suggest 'staving out' the family member and making them hurt so much that they're forced to come back. The strategy is, if you have been in the religion for many years, and you don't have friends outside the religion, then you can see how effective this can be. When I left, it was like starting my whole life over again - without friends and without family. And what most JWs don't know is that once you leave, the elders in the church will harass you quite a bit. I was amazed at how mean-spirited and nasty they became toward me. So, you can see how marrying outside the religion creates huge conflicts. Imagine marrying someone like this and having kids with them. They will not only continually try to brainwash their children into believing the religion, but you will not be able to celebrate any holidays with your spouse and it will always be a point of contention between you. Edited December 13, 2009 by Angel1111
meerkat stew Posted December 13, 2009 Posted December 13, 2009 Broaden your perspective. Whenever you have a social opportunity, it is always better to have an attractive, well-mannered female with you than not, real date or no, just friends or no. It brings definite work and social benefits. As a single man, your social value is at its peak when you are out with a woman and at its nadir when you are alone. For example, you say you will be at a sitdown dinner without chance for flirtation. What about the staff at the restaurant? what if people go to another place after? Women make the best wing-men, and it is infinitely easier to meet women out when you are with a woman. If she wants to use you for social company only and sets out silly boundaries on the possibilities , fine, allow that because the benefits to you are worth it.
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 So what happened? Did you take her to the dinner? The dinner went very well, we all posed for a pic in the end & she actually put her arm around me for it. I didn't expect that!
Author Scorpio13c Posted December 21, 2009 Author Posted December 21, 2009 The JW religion is a strict cult and, please, don't ever put them in the same category as other religions just because they believe in Jesus. Any JW that is dating outside the religion either is not that into it, or they're thinking about leaving it. JWs think that all people outside their religion are going to die at Armageddon and they believe that all non-JWs will tarnish them. Everyone. It doesn't matter what you do or what other church you go to - in their minds, if you're not a JW, you're doomed to die, and you are not to be socialized with because you can contaminate them with your sinful thinking. They don't want their members to even have friends outside the religion, much less date and marry someone who's not a JW. They used to frown on their members going to college but I believe that has now changed only because they have been losing members like crazy over the past several years - not to mention that they were spawning a bunch of uneducated members who couldn't function in the real world. In short, they don't like their members doing anything that takes their attention away from the religion. They consume a huge amount of their time, too - 3 meetings a week, plus studying for the meetings in between, plus preaching from door to door on weekends. They live and breath the religion, and their primary goal is to convert everyone they meet - which completely went against my grain even when I was young. You can actually be thrown out of the church for not doing door to door service. If you're baptized in the religion and decide to leave later, you had better hope that you don't have family in the religion because your family will disown you. I experienced this for myself. I lost a huge family over this religion, hence my total distaste for it. They ruined my life in many ways, and they have ruined many others. There are websites devoted to ex-JWs whose lives have been hurt so much. They actually stated in one of their publications that not only must family members disassociate themselves from family members who leave the religion, but also that in doing so they may be able to bring that family member back by not associating with them. So, basically, they suggest 'staving out' the family member and making them hurt so much that they're forced to come back. The strategy is, if you have been in the religion for many years, and you don't have friends outside the religion, then you can see how effective this can be. When I left, it was like starting my whole life over again - without friends and without family. And what most JWs don't know is that once you leave, the elders in the church will harass you quite a bit. I was amazed at how mean-spirited and nasty they became toward me. So, you can see how marrying outside the religion creates huge conflicts. Imagine marrying someone like this and having kids with them. They will not only continually try to brainwash their children into believing the religion, but you will not be able to celebrate any holidays with your spouse and it will always be a point of contention between you. I understand all of this Angel, although she's down played a lot of what you mentioned. She continues to contact me & come over, I teach her guitar, we talk & have dinner. Last night, even though I've really pulled back, contacting etc., she looked like she had love in her eyes when she looked at me...???
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