XKatieX Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 So I wrote my ex a really nice email 3 days ago and this is his reply back. This is the last and only time Ill write, I dont have much to say. What you said was nice, and because of that I believe, that you believe all these things to be true. I get from this letter that you found someone, the whole tone of it wouldnt allow me to thnk otherwise. So within that I wish you happiness, maybe even some lucky, as nothing is certain. I told him that I was sorry for my mistakes and that I'd do anything to take them back. and this is what he gets from it?? [sIZE=3][/sIZE]
GrayClouds Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 So I wrote my ex a really nice email 3 days ago and this is his reply back. This is the last and only time Ill write, I dont have much to say. What you said was nice, and because of that I believe, that you believe all these things to be true. I get from this letter that you found someone, the whole tone of it wouldnt allow me to thnk otherwise. So within that I wish you happiness, maybe even some lucky, as nothing is certain. I told him that I was sorry for my mistakes and that I'd do anything to take them back. and this is what he gets from it?? [sIZE=3][/sIZE] So do you think the relationship is oveIf so wha are you going to do to move on?
Author XKatieX Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) So do you think the relationship is oveIf so wha are you going to do to move on? Idk, I honestly thought it was over. I didn't want it to be at all and wasn't even expecting him to reply. But the fact that he did write back and said he thought that I had someone else when that's not what I said at all, just confuses me to no end and pisses me off a bit. But what should I say back? Edited December 5, 2009 by XKatieX
GrayClouds Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Idk, I honestly thought it was over. I didn't want it to be at all and wasn't even expecting him to reply. But the fact that he did write back and said he thought that I had someone else when that's not what I said at all, just confuses me to no end and pisses me off a bit. But what should I say back? Nothing. Read the following and completely stick to it specially the part of when to take back your ex: So you want a second chance? by the way what part of "This is the last and only time Ill write" suggest to you he is still interested? You looking for hope when you need to be looking to heal. Good luck
Author XKatieX Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 Nothing. Read the following and completely stick to it specially the part of when to take back your ex: So you want a second chance? by the way what part of "This is the last and only time Ill write" suggest to you he is still interested? You looking for hope when you need to be looking to heal. Good luck That's the part that confuses me though. He was on yahoo messenger all night and wanted to talk to me. I didn't log on though cause I wasn't sure what he would say, and then I got that email. I just think he wouldn't have replied or he wouldn't have replied in THAT way if he had no interest.
GrayClouds Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 That's the part that confuses me though. He was on yahoo messenger all night and wanted to talk to me. I didn't log on though cause I wasn't sure what he would say, and then I got that email. I just think he wouldn't have replied or he wouldn't have replied in THAT way if he had no interest. Katie I know you want to believe he wants more then what he is saying. It hurts you do not want to give up the hope. It is over, I am very sorry. If he wanted to be with you he would be there right now. It does not matter what YOU think, it does not matter what HE says all that matters is his actions, His action is not him knocking on your door. So now you need to stop thinking about him and his possible meanings but foucs on healing from the break up. Did you read : So you want a second chance? That is the only think you should be doing now. I am very sorry for your loss.
Author XKatieX Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 Katie I know you want to believe he wants more then what he is saying. It hurts you do not want to give up the hope. It is over, I am very sorry. If he wanted to be with you he would be there right now. It does not matter what YOU think, it does not matter what HE says all that matters is his actions, His action is not him knocking on your door. So now you need to stop thinking about him and his possible meanings but foucs on healing from the break up. Did you read : So you want a second chance? That is the only think you should be doing now. I am very sorry for your loss. Yeah, the past few days my mind was finally clear of confusion for once in a VERY long time. Then he sent me that email, and I feel like I'm back at square one with the hurt and confusion. I think I'd rather him just not reply at all if he still doesn't care. It just angers me, but I will just try to put it past my mind.
bruce wayne Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 i understand the confusion and how relieved u can feel when it goes away. i imagine u sent this thoughtful email with a the intent to have closure within urself that u said all u could. part of u wanted him to respond and part of u didnt becuase that would mean u would have to deal with the confusion again right?
Author XKatieX Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 i understand the confusion and how relieved u can feel when it goes away. i imagine u sent this thoughtful email with a the intent to have closure within urself that u said all u could. part of u wanted him to respond and part of u didnt becuase that would mean u would have to deal with the confusion again right? Yes exactly. I had nothing in the back of my mind that thought he would reply back. I just wrote it to him because it felt like a huge weight to get off my chest and it made me feel like a better person by doing so. I knew if there was a chance that he would talk to me again, it wouldn't be something I'd want to hear and that's why I tried to completely distance myself from him after I wrote it. In the past he's said similar things like this, its like he tries to play with my emotions. He's even lied to me about being with someone else after we broke up, and then later on he tells me that hes not with anyone, but he thinks that I am. He makes no sense to me sometimes, what so ever.
bruce wayne Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 wow. we do have similar situations. and u prolly looked at that part where he said ur with someone as a sign that he was reading into the email too much which means he cares. or maybe u thought that he was saying that as a way to see if u r with someone else so that gave u hope? and that hope although welcome is what causes the confusion becuase although his reply does not directly say he wants u back his way of responding leads u to think he still cares. and if he still cares theres hope..am i right? lol. i prolly cant be much help other than understanding :/
Island Girl Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) you guys are -- you're in the same situation. This guy says he hasn't found anyone else yet has. So that is an out and out lie BUT he gets you to over look that by challenging whether you have or not --- so he lies and all you end up doing is professing your adoration for him and only him by letting him know you are staying true to him - EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T TOGETHER. He is just as manipulative as Bruce's girlfriend. He is just even better at gaslighting you and making you feel like you are the problem...and you think that if you'd just understand then you could move on or make up but he keeps you dangling. Why does he keep you dangling? Because you LET him. And he will do it as long as you LET him. Sorry honey - you need to demand better treatment - and from SOMEONE ELSE not him. Break it off with him. You are going to need NC. Did you read the link that Gray Clouds placed in this thread about second chances? Edited December 5, 2009 by Island Girl
Author XKatieX Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) you guys are -- you're in the same situation. This guy says he hasn't found anyone else yet has. So that is an out and out lie BUT he gets you to over look that by challenging whether you have or not --- so he lies and all you end up doing is professing your adoration for him and only him by letting him know you are staying true to him - EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T TOGETHER. I'm sorry but you are wrong about this. He has never lied to me, nor has he EVER cheated on me. He's told me after he's came back, after we have been not speaking for a while, that he found someone when he really hasn't, he just is telling me this because he wants to see how I react and if I have someone myself, and that is purely his insecurity issues and maybe just being immature too..he was cheated on in the past. But it is definitely not because he really does have someone else and is afraid to tell me the truth. I'm not saying its a good thing to do someone at all, I would never do it to him either..but because hes insecure, its just how he is sometimes. Edited December 5, 2009 by XKatieX
GrayClouds Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 insecurity issues maybe just being immature too.. he was cheated on in the past. B but because hes insecure, its just how he is sometimes. It sounds like he just not ready to be in a relationship iwth you or anyone else unless it is with is mother to care for him. Maybe it is time to let go of this boy and find a man to date. Island girl may has misunderstood but her point is still valid
Island Girl Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I'm sorry but you are wrong about this. He has never lied to me, nor has he EVER cheated on me. He has lied to you. And I never said he cheated on you. He's told me after he's came back, after we have been not speaking for a while, that he found someone when he really hasn't, See there? What he told you WAS NOT TRUE. That would be a LIE. he just is telling me this because he wants to see how I react and if I have someone myself, and that is purely his insecurity issues and maybe just being immature too..he was cheated on in the past. And here's where it gets excused away and for whatever reason the game playing - being dishonest - becomes excusable for you. But it is definitely not because he really does have someone else and is afraid to tell me the truth. I'm not saying its a good thing to do someone at all, I would never do it to him either..but because hes insecure, its just how he is sometimes. So tragedies strike - people are hurt in relationships and everyone should just excuse it because that is just them. A friend of mine dated a guy who would make plans and be hours late on a regular basis. I told her she shouldn't accept being treated that way - and do you know what her answer was?? "Oh he does that to everybody not just me. It is just how he is." Umm yeah. And he is going to keep doing it too as long as you'll accept it - he'll do it. Poor behavior is poor behavior it doesn't matter why or what happened, etc. Bad is just bad.
GrayClouds Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 He has lied to you. And I never said he cheated on you. See there? What he told you WAS NOT TRUE. That would be a LIE. And here's where it gets excused away and for whatever reason the game playing - being dishonest - becomes excusable for you. So tragedies strike - people are hurt in relationships and everyone should just excuse it because that is just them. A friend of mine dated a guy who would make plans and be hours late on a regular basis. I told her she shouldn't accept being treated that way - and do you know what her answer was?? "Oh he does that to everybody not just me. It is just how he is." Umm yeah. And he is going to keep doing it too as long as you'll accept it - he'll do it. Poor behavior is poor behavior it doesn't matter why or what happened, etc. Bad is just bad. High quality post....put your hand in the air like you just don't care and give this girl a "AMEN, SISTER"
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