sagirl1891 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Ugh This sucks. I had been doing a month of NC and then last night when I was drunk, I texted my ex (who broke up with me) saying "I miss you." Well, he responded and wrote back that he's been wanting to tell me that for weeks now and he thinks of me all the time. He said he missed me too and he wanted to see me. Then, I didn't respond to his messages for a few hours and he texted saying he wanted to call me so we could talk. Long story short, we talked, and he said a lot of stuff, about how much he missed me, how much harder he was than he thought, how he misses us, blah blah blah. BUT, he said he's still confused and doesn't know what he wants right now. He said he wants to be single, but yet he was crying on the phone saying how hard this is. WHAT THE HELL?! This is so confusing and so hard. I hate this so much. We're going to meet up for lunch tomorrow to figure things out but I am just devastated that he doesn't want to be with me. If he's having such a hard time and hasn't hooked up with anyone and it's been a month, why doesn't he want to be with me?! I just don't understand. Someone knock some sense into me, stat. Please
DenverBachelor Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Someone knock some sense into me, stat. Please Guys don't cry easily. He obviously loves you. Take it from there.
GrayClouds Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Guys don't cry easily. He obviously loves you. Take it from there. unless the are really wanting sex, then crying is easy it is as easy as saying they really want a relationship if they are into you.
rp123 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 unless the are really wanting sex, then crying is easy Rapier observation from GC as usual.... Don't sleep with him. simple. Smoke him out.....
trueblue72ny Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 it happens to the best of us sadgirl. cant tell you how many times i conacted my ex gf when i know it shouldnt have. it sounds like to me that he wants you on the side while he either looks for someone else, or finds himself or whatever he is doing. it is not fair to you.
Author sagirl1891 Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 Guys, I ended up seeing him. We ended up cuddling, having sex, etc. I AM SO STUPID!!!!!!!! He still said that he wasn't sure whether or not he'd want to be in a relationship with me because of long-distance, we were fighting a lot, blah blah. But he also told me he's not interested in aynone else. Back to NC. For real.
Torn_apart Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Its best not to dwell on your mistakes and focus on healing yourself. Do the NC, forget about him and move on. He only wants you when it is convenient for him and i bet he will be doing the same thing with the next girl who comes along. Just be glad you're not there when it happens.
LovelyDaze Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 GET OFF THIS CRAZY TRAIN NOW!!! I made that kind of mistake also. He may well in fact have lingering feelings for you but the real fact is that he wants you as an emergency bed partner more than anything. I learned I was one the hard way and it feels so demeaning. Stick with NC. Test your superstrength now and never relent. He can cry, hold a large radio in the air outside your house, threaten to jump off the highest mountain...who cares. Let him. He is messing up precious days in your life doing this to you. It's easy to slip back into ex-sex. It's harder to treat yourself and right and stay away from such poison. Trust me. It is the best thing you will ever do for yourself because he will NEVER change. Never.
Author sagirl1891 Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 Thanks for that message. I completely agree 100%. It's weird, I'm in a negative ish mood, but I haven't cried since he left. I think I'm moving on!!! I really think that by the time he realizes he wants me back, it'll be too late. I'm already moving forward without him. What makes me laugh is that the Steelers, his favorite team, have gone to sh*t ever since he dumped me, and my favorite team, the Jets, have been winning. Stupid coincidence, but it makes me smile.
CaliGuy Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 unless the are really wanting sex, then crying is easy Yup. Sad but true. it is as easy as saying they really want a relationship if they are into you. or... it's as easy as saying they really want a relationship when what they really want is a roll in hay as long as you'll let them. hah. We men are really very transparent....
Author sagirl1891 Posted December 8, 2009 Author Posted December 8, 2009 Help me everyone! He sent me a Facebook message last night at 6:41 AM, with a youtube link that related to something that I talked about with him on Saturday...a mutual interest that we share. He wrote "Thought youd like this" I was so taken aback because I figured he wouldn't reach out to me after he got his cake and ate it too (and I didn't respond to his text message). So, of course I didn't respond. I have no intentions of that...can someone say "bread crumbs"? I just need someone to please remind me why I'm staying NC because honestly it's kinda hard when I know that he was looking at my Facebook and thinking about me enough to post a youtube link. I know he's fishing but it still makes me sad. And no, I'm not going to defriend him because I don't wanna cause drama or look weak or anything. I haven't been looking on his facebook at all and have been really focusing on improving myself I just need a little boost from my supportive peeps here at LS
LovelyDaze Posted December 8, 2009 Posted December 8, 2009 As you know, you can just scale down Facebook to view other friends' happenings or skip the Home page altogether. Does he post on your actual wall? If so, you DON'T have to respond. Same as if he texts or calls. Let it go. Think about giving in to communication only for him to tell you that he STILL doesn't want to get back together. Exes have a great way of crushing human beings like a mallet. Don't Facebook, give thumbs up or anything. It just pushes you backward from the road of healing.
adamt Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 you need to block him on facebook. believe me,it's the best way in the long run
puppydog Posted December 9, 2009 Posted December 9, 2009 haha. seriously. the tears. don't believe it! When your ex wants to get back together and you tell them no sex for at least a month, see what their response is.
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