saddy Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) It's been 1 year now that my wife broke up with me. I've kept in touch with her because of administrative issues and because I felt like I had to after 5 years spent together but in fact it looks like everytime I hear from her, it makes me suffer a lot... We both have moved on and I have a new girlfriend so that's a reason why we never saw each other with mutual friends. The other reason is that I really don't want it: I know that I would feel awful, and I don't want to have spectators at that particular time. Just after the break up, she took her distance with our mutual friends, and I felt great with it, I could forget about her and what she was doing. But lately, she's been seeing them more often. And all that happens behind my back (well, at least that's the way I feel it). I'm feeling betrayed by my friends and her. It makes me feel miserable, as if it was a popularity contest that I just don't feel strong enough to win. To sum this up, I feel like I'm gonna lose my friends... How can I deal with that? I need to change my mindset... just don't know how to do that... how to see things differently... Edited December 5, 2009 by saddy
soheartbroken Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Very tricky and painful situation. I know the pain of betrayal from mutual friends. Personally, I hate that these friends are privy to more information than we are. Why should they know more about the person we loved for years than we do? But anyway... If you lose your friends over something like this, then they just aren't the right friendships for you right now. Losing friends during a breakup or divorce is quite common. But more importantly, how do you know that your ex is seeing them; I mean, why are people telling you this information? Simple solution would be to ask your ex not to mention if she's seen mutual friends, and ask your friends not to mention your ex, even in passing. Tell them you don't want to know if she met them for dinner or whatever. What do you think about doing this?
phineas Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Eh, I really didn't like those people much anyways.
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