sawyerlafleur Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) last night I couldn't sleep because I was feeling a bit down cuz I had some every-day issues so I called my girlfriend hoping she could make me feel better. it was 3 am (I knew she would still be awake) I asked her how her night was, she very casually told me she had been out with some friends and got pretty damn drunk and when she got home she found her (male) roommate on the sofa and they ended up 'fooling around', so my response was: wtf? what did you just say? fooling around? what do you mean fooling around? she said: don't know... uhh.. it just happened... something like that. then I asked her again what she meant by fooling around, then she said that by fooling around she meant just having fun and talking and gossiping about other people.... should I believe this? why would she even tell me if she was actually fooling around with him? additional info about the girl: she told me she isn't very easy with men and that she only had 2 partners in her whole life and that I was the first guy she ever had sex with, but I don't know if I can believe that. Edited December 4, 2009 by sawyerlafleur
New Again Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 why would she even tell me if she was actually fooling around with him? Yeah, exactly, why would she tell you if that's what she was doing.
mark982 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 i do some serious digging here, she was probable right with the first response she gave you.
norajane Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 got pretty damn drunk and when she got home she found her (male) roommate on the sofa and they ended up 'fooling around', so my response was: wtf? what did you just say? fooling around? what do you mean fooling around? she said: don't know... uhh.. it just happened.. Yes, she cheated on you. I don't know to what extent, but saying "it just happened" can in no way refer to "talking and gossiping about other people". She cheated. Now you need to decide whether you want to stay with a woman who will cheat on you when she's drunk.
silic0ntoad Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Yeah she definately banged him. No girl I know would say that and mean "we gossiped and talked all night!!!" Bullsh*t.
BUENG1 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Yeah, exactly, why would she tell you if that's what she was doing. Probably because she was drunk. OP she clearly cheated on you.
New Again Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I can definitely imagine a scenario in which the OP is jealous and possessive (no offense, I'm not saying you are, just pointing out that there are other possibilities) and is constantly getting after his gf over it. So when he calls her at 3am to check up on her and she, because she's drunk says "We were just messing around" she meant it in the sense of when you're with your friends and you say that you're just ****ing off, dicking around, etc. Then OP starts giving her a hard time and freaking out on her because she's hanging out with someone of the opposite sex - perhaps someone he gives her **** over all the time (what a whore, you have a male roommate, how dare you, you clearly want to bang him). So she says "It just happened," meaning, she didn't go out of her way to hang out with him because she wants to bang him. The OP clearly does have issues, as he's untrusting of his gf saying how many people she's been with. Something more is going on here that he hasn't divulged. Either his gf has given him reason to question her before this, or he has issues because he's psychotic, or something else I haven't thought of.
BUENG1 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I can definitely imagine a scenario in which the OP is jealous and possessive (no offense, I'm not saying you are, just pointing out that there are other possibilities) and is constantly getting after his gf over it. So when he calls her at 3am to check up on her and she, because she's drunk says "We were just messing around" she meant it in the sense of when you're with your friends and you say that you're just ****ing off, dicking around, etc. Then OP starts giving her a hard time and freaking out on her because she's hanging out with someone of the opposite sex - perhaps someone he gives her **** over all the time (what a whore, you have a male roommate, how dare you, you clearly want to bang him). So she says "It just happened," meaning, she didn't go out of her way to hang out with him because she wants to bang him. The OP clearly does have issues, as he's untrusting of his gf saying how many people she's been with. Something more is going on here that he hasn't divulged. Either his gf has given him reason to question her before this, or he has issues because he's psychotic, or something else I haven't thought of. I don't know thats quite an inference from whats written here. I guess its possible you are correct.
New Again Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) last night I couldn't sleep because I was feeling a bit down cuz I had some every-day issues so I called my girlfriend hoping she could make me feel better. it was 3 am (I knew she would still be awake) I asked her how her night was, she very casually told me she had been out with some friends and got pretty damn drunk and when she got home she found her (male) roommate on the sofa and they ended up 'fooling around', so my response was: wtf? what did you just say? fooling around? what do you mean fooling around? she said: don't know... uhh.. it just happened... something like that. then I asked her again what she meant by fooling around, then she said that by fooling around she meant just having fun and talking and gossiping about other people.... should I believe this? why would she even tell me if she was actually fooling around with him? additional info about the girl: she told me she isn't very easy with men and that she only had 2 partners in her whole life and that I was the first guy she ever had sex with, but I don't know if I can believe that. Perhaps OP is just angry and confused. However, bolded words and phrases are what I consider flags, as well as the overall tone of the whole OP. First, he called her at 3am...why? If he was feeling down, why wouldn't he have called her at a normal hour of the day? I think he was calling to check up on her - either because she's given him reason in the past not to trust her, or because he just doesn't and it has nothing to do with her. Second, he called her because he wanted her to make him feel better...but he starts off by asking her what she's doing? I call bs, he was calling to check up on her. She "very casually" told him she got "pretty damn drunk"? Perhaps OP is just angry. But I'm sensing he has an issue with her drinking, period, separate from that one isolated incident. His response to her comment was to immediate flip out on her. I say "messing around" or "fooling around" all the time when I'm referring to just hanging out doing nothing in particular. But OP didn't take that as a possibility - again, he flipped out. He took that statement to be confirming what he already thought, and hence the reason he was calling - because he doesn't trust her and wanted to check up on her. Most people who trust their SO would have been like "huh? what do you mean?" or joked about it in order to get more information - in other words, I think a milder reaction to that statement is called for...assuming you trust your SO. Then, for some reason he felt it was relevant to add that particular "additional information" about "the girl" (not "my girl" or "my gf") - and the information was in no way relevant to the rest of the OP. It was simply him pointing out - hey, my gf told me these things and I think she's full of ****. I don't know thats quite an inference from whats written here. I guess its possible you are correct. Well, I don't think that is necessarily what is going on either. However, I just wanted to point out that there are other possibilities than that the gf cheated. Edited December 4, 2009 by New Again
Author sawyerlafleur Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) what is your problem man? you're totally wrong about me... I'm totally not the type of guy you just described. I'm actually the sweetest guy a girl could have and I would do anything for her, and I totally did NOT freak out on the phone.. I just went... what? what do you mean fooling around? this girl has given me enough reasons to be cautious.. and I say cautious not jealous! she's had a troublesome past.. read drug abuse and annorexia.. and she has a extremely high IQ plus she's insanely beautiful, now thats a dangerous combination. She also has add and a lot of mood swings and she can be very manipulative.. but she hasnt been all these things lately because she got used to me and trusts me and I like her for who she is.. so no sir you just dont understand It's a complicated situation. and I didn't call her to check up on her I just felt really ****ty about the ****ty day I had so I called her to talk about it, thats' what we do we call eachother whenever we need support or just because Edited December 4, 2009 by sawyerlafleur
an hero Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 what is your problem man? you're totally wrong about me... I'm totally not the type of guy you just described. I'm actually the sweetest guy a girl could have and I would do anything for her, and I totally did NOT freak out on the phone.. I just went... what? what do you mean fooling around? this girl has given me enough reasons to be cautious.. and I say cautious not jealous! she's had a troublesome past.. read drug abuse and annorexia.. and she has a extremely high IQ plus she's insanely beautiful, now thats a dangerous combination. She also has add and a lot of mood swings and she can be very manipulative.. but she hasnt been all these things lately because she got used to me and trusts me and I like her for who she is.. so no sir you just dont understand It's a complicated situation. and I didn't call her to check up on her I just felt really ****ty about the ****ty day I had so I called her to talk about it, thats' what we do we call eachother whenever we need support or just because Don't worry about what people say about you on the internet, you've got real problems. Sounds like she cheated on you from what you posted. You need to find out the truth, and if she did cheat on you you've got to have a real think about your relationship.
New Again Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) what is your problem man? you're totally wrong about me... I'm totally not the type of guy you just described. I'm actually the sweetest guy a girl could have and I would do anything for her, and I totally did NOT freak out on the phone.. I just went... what? what do you mean fooling around? this girl has given me enough reasons to be cautious.. and I say cautious not jealous! she's had a troublesome past.. read drug abuse and annorexia.. and she has a extremely high IQ plus she's insanely beautiful, now thats a dangerous combination. She also has add and a lot of mood swings and she can be very manipulative.. but she hasnt been all these things lately because she got used to me and trusts me and I like her for who she is.. so no sir you just dont understand It's a complicated situation. and I didn't call her to check up on her I just felt really ****ty about the ****ty day I had so I called her to talk about it, thats' what we do we call eachother whenever we need support or just because 1. I've dated guys who are just as I described who insist that they are in fact, not at all like that, that they're so sweet and the best thing to ever happen to a girl. 2. Just because someone is attractive and smart doesn't mean they're a disloyal piece of ****. If you felt that way I would hope you wouldn't be dating her. 3. Just because I didn't chime in with everyone else "yeah, hang her, she's a cheater!" isn't reason to get worked up. You presumably came here for advice and alternative perspectives, so I would think you'd be open to hearing a diverging opinion. 4. So now your story is that you didn't say: "wtf? what did you just say? fooling around? what do you mean fooling around?", but rather: "what? what do you mean fooling around?" That said....Chill out. You seem to have missed all the parts where I said either you're crazy or she's given you reason to not trust her, or something else that hasn't been suggested by myself or others. Edited December 5, 2009 by New Again
muse08 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Don't worry about what people say about you on the internet, you've got real problems. Sounds like she cheated on you from what you posted. You need to find out the truth, and if she did cheat on you you've got to have a real think about your relationship. I agree with HERO. Don't be moved by what each and every person in here says. Remember these comments are merely opinions. So take what you think you can use and ignore the rest. No one knows your whole situation but you. I will say though, that the fact the she got that drunk and was telling you about it like it's not a big deal would be a turnoff. This is the problem when you date someone who drink PERIOD. They think they can "blame it on the alcohol", when I would still blame it on their character for the simple fact that they chose to drink and get drunk in the first place. She obviously did some fooling around with the guy and the fat that you called her could have just been your instincts telling you that something wasn't right. It's good you called and found that info out. Now you can make a decision about how to proceed. She has a male room mate...hmmm. Various factors to be cautious about. I'm a female and I don't think you overreacted at all. If you didn't say "what? wtf?" someone would say you didn't give a sh*t. Take time to think about whether or not you want to be worried about her cheating on you or getting drunk. That's not a good look for a make or female. So what if she's "insanely beautiful"...sounds like she could just be INSANE with all those issues, 4real...Yeah she trusts you but can you trust her?? From a female perspective, I wouldn't trust her.Think about what's best for you and how things would be in the future after this incident...
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