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Ex-Girlfriend still loves me, but doesn't want a relationship right now?

ferrarienzo125

By ferrarienzo125
in Second Chances

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ferrarienzo125 New Member

ferrarienzo125

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hi guys,

 

Long time reader, first time poster :)

 

Almost two years ago, I met this wonderful girl who I soon began to date. We had such a strong attraction to each other, and still do. So anyway, things were great for around the first year (we were together a total of 1.5 years). For the last half year we started to have problems, started arguing. She was a very insecure girl and she thought I was going to replace her with any girl I met, but that wasn't the case. This would upset me because I could not convince her and this resulted in lots of fights.

 

After a while of breaking up, getting back together and fighting we both decided it would be better to just be friends. So a couple days into our break up, she found that I was becoming closer to another girl and this really hurt her. She cried, said hurtful things and then we basically went no contact for around a month and a half. During that month and a half she has kissed two guys whilst at a party and she hasn't hesitated to tell me that or even tell me that she could only think of me whilst it was happening either.

 

So about 5 days ago, I decided to ask to talk to her, because I didn't want such a wonderful relationship to go down the drain and end with us despising each other. So I offered to end on good terms. I realised then that I still loved her so very much and I missed her. The phone conversation was amazing, we spoke like friends and then we both admitted a few things. She whispered "I miss you so much" to me and I told her I missed her too. After the phone call she texted me telling me she is sorry if she confuses me but she is still in love with me and she felt it had to be said.

 

So lately we've just been rebuilding our friendship and we have been working through everything that broke us up in the first place and to be honest it is going perfectly. I saw her today and we still have so much fun together. But I am confused. A few things happened today which leave me feeling unsure. First of all, we had a great time. Later on we had lunch in a park on the grass and became close to each other. We spoke about things and she told me she was very sorry for hurting me and I told her I have never had any feelings for another woman, it has always been her. After telling her this she then grabbed my and held me close. We both wanted to kiss one another but it was obvious that we were both trying to pull back. She was trying to kiss me more than I was trying to kiss her. I am sort of glad we didn't since I am now left puzzled.

 

She told me that everything she said to me was truly what she felt and we spoke about a future together. But then she told me she doesn't want a relationship right now despite her feelings for me. She wants us to become close friends and completely rebuild our friendship before anything happens. She admitted that she was scared of being hurt and she didn't want me to hold her back from having fun. I admit, I used to hold her back but after breaking up with her I've realised a lot of things.

 

After I got home she text me saying she still wants to talk to me and she wants to hang out just me and her and even around other people. She then said "I'm not saying I don't want to get back together with you, I just mean not right at this point in time." I know she is right, because I don't want to jump into a relationship right away but I am so in love with her it's hard for me. She also admitted without us even touching each other she felt the same strong attraction like we always did.

 

I just want her to be happy so I respect her decision. I told her if we remain friends through this we will only hurt each other. She told me she knows she will get hurt, but she said for me to do things for myself and not worry about her for a bit and she told me to do what I want without considering her feelings even though she knows it will hurt her (if I spend time with another girl).

 

So what I am asking is, where do I go from here? I am deeply in love with her and I can tell she still has strong feelings for me but I am just confused. I just want to let her know that I will endeavour to make things different if we tried again.

 

Please don't tell me to just forget about her, because her and I both know there is something special and something really strong and real between us, and we are able to admit that. The only thing is I don't know where to go from here?

 

She wants to spend time with me as a friend but at the same time she talks about our future together.

 

Should I just spend time with her and rebuild our extremely strong bond which once was?

 

Thank you, and sorry for the long post.

Edited by ferrarienzo125
almostpassedit Member

almostpassedit

Posted
Posted

I'll just tell the truth.

 

Your girlfriend is 100% lieing. She is seeing someone else and probably having sex with him too.

 

Ask yourself these two questions

 

1) When you were together, did you have sex often?

2) When was the last time you've had sex with her?

 

Can you explain why the sex is no more? When is the last time you've had sex with her? Think about it....

 

Again, your girlfriend is fawking another person, she is using you as emmotional support while she builds a new relationship with another. As soon as that relationship with the other is "good" or at a level compareable to the initimate times you guys shared, she will not want to hang out anymore.

 

Right now you are enabling her by being her support-stand.

 

Again, I say to you, when was the last time you had sex with her?

If it's been months or weeks or if you can COUNT the amount of times you've been together in lets say the last 30 days.

 

 

PS, your girlfriend is doing typically female behavior, she is making you blame yourself, like your the bad guy. Your not. She's cheating or has cheated. You are stand-by guy now. Again, ask yourself, can you count the amount of times you've had sex with her in say the last 30 days?

 

That is my theory.

PS. Its not about HER, its about YOU. Why is she making you post to strangers on the internet when you already know the truth? Nothing you can or will do will be good-enough. The relationship is over. She is banging someone else. The bond is broken. You cannot get it back.

 

At this point in time, your a girly man. She doesn't respect you at all.

 

 

Good Luck

  • Author
ferrarienzo125 New Member

ferrarienzo125

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
I'll just tell the truth.

 

Your girlfriend is 100% lieing. She is seeing someone else and probably having sex with him too.

 

Ask yourself these two questions

 

1) When you were together, did you have sex often?

2) When was the last time you've had sex with her?

 

Can you explain why the sex is no more? When is the last time you've had sex with her? Think about it....

 

Again, your girlfriend is fawking another person, she is using you as emmotional support while she builds a new relationship with another. As soon as that relationship with the other is "good" or at a level compareable to the initimate times you guys shared, she will not want to hang out anymore.

 

Right now you are enabling her by being her support-stand.

 

Again, I say to you, when was the last time you had sex with her?

If it's been months or weeks or if you can COUNT the amount of times you've been together in lets say the last 30 days.

 

 

PS, your girlfriend is doing typically female behavior, she is making you blame yourself, like your the bad guy. Your not. She's cheating or has cheated. You are stand-by guy now. Again, ask yourself, can you count the amount of times you've had sex with her in say the last 30 days?

 

That is my theory.

PS. Its not about HER, its about YOU. Why is she making you post to strangers on the internet when you already know the truth? Nothing you can or will do will be good-enough. The relationship is over. She is banging someone else. The bond is broken. You cannot get it back.

 

At this point in time, your a girly man. She doesn't respect you at all.

 

 

Good Luck

 

Well before we broke up we were extremely intimate and that was every time we saw eachother so probably 3-4 times per week.

 

She isn't banging someone else, I know she isn't.

 

I am posting on the internet because I want to know where I go from the point her and I have got to.

 

Edit:

 

Her and I were extremely close we would talk for up to six hours per day and whenever we had free time we would see each other. I'm not blaming myself because she has done things to help the break up too, but I know I did the last thing, and I hurt her. I got too close to this girl, even though it wasn't physical my ex was getting really worried about how I was getting closer to this girl than I am with her. When she asked me to back off, I did for a little bit but fights continued and we broke up, so I didn't end off backing off that much.

Edited by ferrarienzo125
almostpassedit Member

almostpassedit

Posted
Posted

If thats the Case, go complete NC.

She'll come back.

 

100% No contact. Even change your phone number.

She'll come back.

 

In the mean-time date others.

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

Posted
Posted

This line is why I don't want to trust women anymore. They don't have the guts to tell you that they don't think you're not good enough for them.

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