Sam Spade Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I don't know people, because a lot of white guys I know straight up won't date white women because they want something different. I guess everyone kind of wants what they can't have. There was this ginger kid that I liked for a while, and I was on my way to San Diego and tanned the living Hell out of myself for the trip. I thought I looked rediculous (but didn't want to be pasty in a bikini), but white dudes honestly looked at me more often. I dyed my hair dark right after that to cover up my funky auburn roots and so I was basically dark skinned and dark-haired. I was hit on warp-speed by gringoes and the attention faded as the spraytan did. It's not the amount of times I got hit on that was the difference - it was how nervous and obviously more attracted to me they were when I was a darker version of myself. But to bring it around, after I made myself look Filipino my ginger crush went up to me and said, "You look GORGEOUS with straight black hair and dark skin. God, I love women with dark skin and dark hair." I've heard this kind of stuff a lot from guys. Long, straight dark hair, tan skin, asian features and you're a white dude magnet. Aye, mami! The island girl will look from behind the brushes as you arrive with your ship to conquer the islands, and then will seduce you and entrap you so you forget why you came and will never leave . The white girl will make you dinner and will remind you to please take the trash out in the morning .
Pizzaman81 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 The white girl will make you dinner and will remind you to please take the trash out in the morning . That's it I'm dating a white girl!
tami-chan Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Well..I think we are all using the word "OBSESSED" loosely here. I don't think anybody ( caucasian or asian ) is obsessed with anybody in general...I think there is an attraction/preference-this is probably rooted in some kind of stereotypical belief that Asians make good partners/wives,better in bed, hardworking...etc etc. and vice-versa with Caucasian men- that they are more open with their emotions, more "allowing" with giving us freedom in the relationship, etc etc.... However, stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. It may have come from some truth and CAN be true but it is not THE truth. If we choose partners based on stereotypes then we are not being fair to them. Stereotypes do not make a person.
Vertex Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I don't care what people call it -- I'll stick to my Asian preference. XD
TheLoneSock Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 White guys are always going to be obsessed with Asian women. If they're not, they're either lying or in the minority. Guess I'm the minority then. Although I have started to take more notice lately - doubtful it will turn into a fetish though, I rarely obsess over anything that much.
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 Well..I think we are all using the word "OBSESSED" loosely here. I don't think anybody ( caucasian or asian ) is obsessed with anybody in general...I think there is an attraction/preference-this is probably rooted in some kind of stereotypical belief that Asians make good partners/wives,better in bed, hardworking...etc etc. and vice-versa with Caucasian men- that they are more open with their emotions, more "allowing" with giving us freedom in the relationship, etc etc.... However, stereotypes are just that, stereotypes. It may have come from some truth and CAN be true but it is not THE truth. If we choose partners based on stereotypes then we are not being fair to them. Stereotypes do not make a person. Don't flatter yourself Tami-chan! I'm afraid the stereotypes are more often than not less flattering! Many white men (on my campus and I'm sure many others) have remarked that Asian women are more approachable. (Source: boy talk.) Many Asian women (and other ethnic minorities in the U.S.) believe having a white husband or wife is a status symbol. ALSO, in college, it wasn't uncommon for me to hear how much an Asian woman wanted a Hapa baby! (Source: girl talk.) Oh and: "Two wrinkles on this: We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating—but because of the women's neutrality, not the men's pronounced preference." (Source: http://www.slate.com/id/2177637/ ) Thought you knew but now you know!
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 Obsessed? Really? I wouldn't exactly describe it as obsession. maybe a sort of infatuation but hardly an obsession. I saw this link back in that other thread: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/ basically all guys seem to have a similar level of interest of women of all races, while white, Hispanic, and Asian women all have almost exclusive interest in white guys. So obsession? probably not, if anything white, Hispanic, and Asian women have the obsession with white men Why do Asian women (like Tami-chan) ALWAYS forget to mention THEIR agency? Many truly believe white men are interested in them because they're inherently better in bed or more "hardworking." (Source: girl talk.) Unfortunately, some Latinas use racist beliefs to boost their self-esteem too. (Source: girl talk! See below.) "Men love us (Latinas) because were passionate in and out of the bedroom Littlemissgrouchy!"
TheLoneSock Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I (and MANY other Latinas) could tell you stories about "brown fever" dudes that would "blow your mind." However, that wouldn't be indicative of white men's general obsession with "brown women." Sexual prowess has zero to do with the color of your skin, and everything to do with your own personal experience.
TheLoneSock Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Many truly believe white men are interested in them because they're inherently better in bed or more "hardworking." (Source: girl talk.) Unfortunately, some Latinas use racist beliefs to boost their self-esteem too. (Source: girl talk! See below.) "Men love us (Latinas) because were passionate in and out of the bedroom Littlemissgrouchy!" I have never heard that about asian girls, not once lol. Also, I've experienced latina women on a couple of different occasions, and they were no more passionate in or out of the bedroom than any other girl I have been with. So I agree with you. There are certain people that need to feed off of the manufactured stereotypes of their background in order to enhance their confidence, or give them the illusion they are somehow more desirable. Many people, both men and women, of all kinds of backgrounds do this.
Devil Inside Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 So I agree with you. There are certain people that need to feed off of the manufactured stereotypes of their background in order to enhance their confidence, or give them the illusion they are somehow more desirable. Many people, both men and women, of all kinds of backgrounds do this. I agree with this. However...for the record....Latino men are definitely the best lovers.
TheLoneSock Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I agree with this. However...for the record....Latino men are definitely the best lovers. Ok so I guess you're one of those 'certain' people haha.
Devil Inside Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Ok so I guess you're one of those 'certain' people haha. Just modeling your point. I do agree with you. Being a good lover or good looking is not something that has to do with your racial background...you either are...or you're not.
Devil Inside Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Why do Asian women (like Tami-chan) ALWAYS forget to mention THEIR agency? Many truly believe white men are interested in them because they're inherently better in bed or more "hardworking." (Source: girl talk.) I get the sense that Tami is joking around with you all here. People give her such a big reaction, so why wouldn't she keep doing this?
Ms. Joolie Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I think in porn, it's the stereotype that is played up or that makes the impact. Or just with sexual attraction period, it's the image that makes the big impact. Asians are petite, with sexy eyes and long dark hair, right? Blondes have long legs, blue eyes and bubbly personalities, right? Latinas are curvacious with tanned skin and long dark hair, right? etc, etc, etc on the stereotypes... It's not really the attraction of the guy to the race or the ethnic group. And it most likely isn't an attraction to their culture. It's just an attraction to the image, or the stereotype. Not all asian women are sexy. Not all blondes have long legs. Not all latinas are curvacious. However, every woman has their own image of beauty. So it isn't about certain types of women being "white dude magnets." It's about the image of beauty that one woman projects.
Sam Spade Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Many white men (on my campus and I'm sure many others) have remarked that Asian women are more approachable. (Source: boy talk.) Also, and no less important - they giggle and lovingly roll their eyes when talking about you whan you're not around .
Devil Inside Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I think in porn, it's the stereotype that is played up or that makes the impact. Or just with sexual attraction period, it's the image that makes the big impact. Asians are petite, with sexy eyes and long dark hair, right? Blondes have long legs, blue eyes and bubbly personalities, right? Latinas are curvacious with tanned skin and long dark hair, right? etc, etc, etc on the stereotypes... It's not really the attraction of the guy to the race or the ethnic group. And it most likely isn't an attraction to their culture. It's just an attraction to the image, or the stereotype. Not all asian women are sexy. Not all blondes have long legs. Not all latinas are curvacious. However, every woman has their own image of beauty. So it isn't about certain types of women being "white dude magnets." It's about the image of beauty that one woman projects. Oh man...Joolie you are bursting my bubble here. So not all librarians toss there hair around and take off their glasses in a seductive manner. :laugh: I agree with you here. It is one of the dangers of porn. It really skews our perception of sexuality and how people should look and act. Don't get me wrong..I like a good night of "porn star" sex as much as the next guy...but neither myself or women I have been with...are like porn stars.
TheLoneSock Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Oh man...Joolie you are bursting my bubble here. So not all librarians toss there hair around and take off their glasses in a seductive manner. :laugh: My bubble was also burst here.
Ms. Joolie Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 HAHA. The *obvious* point was that porn skews reality, it's just a fantasy. The not so obvious point, what we women don't always remember, is that reality trumps the fantasy. A real woman (in 3D!) is so much hotter than a lonely fantasy. And that's what's most important, imo, when it comes to this thread. Sure BFs may get off to porn, but the GFs are the real women, the real relationship. And the OP got that her BF was watching porn as his fantasy, just as she has fantasies, but definitely wanted to make the point that she is the real woman. That real image of a woman, the hot attraction of a real woman's beauty, a real woman's body (that's taken care of to some extent at least), will trump the fantasy porn.
Jaytb Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 HAHA. The *obvious* point was that porn skews reality, it's just a fantasy. The not so obvious point, what we women don't always remember, is that reality trumps the fantasy. A real woman (in 3D!) is so much hotter than a lonely fantasy. And that's what's most important, imo, when it comes to this thread. Sure BFs may get off to porn, but the GFs are the real women, the real relationship. And the OP got that her BF was watching porn as his fantasy, just as she has fantasies, but definitely wanted to make the point that she is the real woman. That real image of a woman, the hot attraction of a real woman's beauty, a real woman's body (that's taken care of to some extent at least), will trump the fantasy porn. Holy crap! where are you when our Senior Anti-Pornologist comes about and does the usual anti-men anti-porn diatribe?
Devil Inside Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 HAHA. The *obvious* point was that porn skews reality, it's just a fantasy. The not so obvious point, what we women don't always remember, is that reality trumps the fantasy. A real woman (in 3D!) is so much hotter than a lonely fantasy. And that's what's most important, imo, when it comes to this thread. Sure BFs may get off to porn, but the GFs are the real women, the real relationship. And the OP got that her BF was watching porn as his fantasy, just as she has fantasies, but definitely wanted to make the point that she is the real woman. That real image of a woman, the hot attraction of a real woman's beauty, a real woman's body (that's taken care of to some extent at least), will trump the fantasy porn. I have to agree with you 100%. Any woman I have been with in reality blows away a date with my hand and a skin flick.
Awesome Username Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Aye, mami! The island girl will look from behind the brushes as you arrive with your ship to conquer the islands, and then will seduce you and entrap you so you forget why you came and will never leave . The white girl will make you dinner and will remind you to please take the trash out in the morning . If I tan I get an island? HOLY CRAP I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!! Screw cooking, I'm gettin' me an island! BRB!
tami-chan Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 Don't flatter yourself Tami-chan! I'm afraid the stereotypes are more often than not less flattering! uh-oh...somebody missed the point here:rolleyes:...fyi, I am NOT flattered by stereotypes. But anyway, the whole point to the post you strongly reacted to is this: stereotypes are silly because while it may be rooted in some truth and can be true...it is NOT the truth...is that too difficult to understand? or do I have to break if down for you some more? Many white men (on my campus and I'm sure many others) have remarked that Asian women are more approachable. (Source: boy talk.) Many Asian women (and other ethnic minorities in the U.S.) believe having a white husband or wife is a status symbol. ALSO, in college, it wasn't uncommon for me to hear how much an Asian woman wanted a Hapa baby! (Source: girl talk.)What is with your sources? do you think that makes it true because you talked to a handful of people? it is STILL unscientific....Dios mio, where in the world did you go to school? "Two wrinkles on this: We found no evidence of the stereotype of a white male preference for East Asian women. However, we also found that East Asian women did not discriminate against white men (only against black and Hispanic men). As a result, the white man-Asian woman pairing was the most common form of interracial dating—but because of the women's neutrality, not the men's pronounced preference." (Source: http://www.slate.com/id/2177637/ ) Thought you knew but now you know!Uhm read that study again....does it tell you that Asian women are obsessed with white men? Look, Just to clarify, I do not believe that Caucasian men ARE attracted to or prefer Asian women or vice versa...but to those who are (and there are, as we know) I do not think it is an "obsession". But at this point, I agree with the study in that, if an Asian woman will go out of her culture to get marry...it will most likely(though not all) be with a white man....why? PERHAPS because they are aware of the not-so-good stats of the other races on education, family cohesiveness, crime etc.etc.....or perhaps because many live in neighborhoods that are predominantly white-the "mate" pool is therefore limited to that race. My BF is Hispanic...a very well-educated man-and oh, he is hot, too-that helps . He also comes from a family whose members are highly educated. If I believed in or cared for the stereotypes I would not be with him(besides, I was not really aware of the many stereotypes that his ethnicity is supposed to have-just one or two)...but I don't and I am glad I don't because I would have missed out on being with an awesome man .
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 I strongly reacted to your subtle racism. It's most evident in the posts where you're "just joking." But at this point, I agree with the study in that, if an Asian woman will go out of her culture to get marry...it will most likely(though not all) be with a white man....why? PERHAPS because they are aware of the not-so-good stats of the other races on education, family cohesiveness, crime etc.etc.....or perhaps because many live in neighborhoods that are predominantly white-the "mate" pool is therefore limited to that race. Your racism is showing Tami-chan. You know VERY WELL there's no need to "break it down for me." In college, I studied, lived, and socialized with Asian women that share your worldview. (i.e. racist) Everything you've typed and WILL type I've read or heard before. (Source: four LONG years at the most Asian Ivy ... And no, I'm NOT going to wait for a scientific study about "signs you're interacting with a racist person.")
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 By the way, thank you for your helpful posts! I learned a lot from everyone!!!
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 7, 2009 Author Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) My last posts regarding Tami-chan were not fair. My opinions were baseless. I don't know her let alone anyone else on this site. Also, I didn't come here for this: http://kairosnews.org/files/Icansee-1.jpg Good luck to everyone! Edited December 7, 2009 by lilmissgrouchy
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