Chrome Barracuda Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 So it's porn!!! at least it's striaght porn! does she believe that her bf is fantasizing about other women that he sees in porn movies??? Some porn is damaging if it is done in heavy doses. but this man hasnt cheated, right? So why condemn him when all he's done is look at porn? Has he cheated or flirted with other women? She said she didnt have a problem with women of other races in the video in the initial post, except asian women, that selective picking that one out of the whole ethnic choice denotes insecurity.
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 So it's porn!!! at least it's striaght porn! does she believe that her bf is fantasizing about other women that he sees in porn movies??? Some porn is damaging if it is done in heavy doses. but this man hasnt cheated, right? So why condemn him when all he's done is look at porn? Has he cheated or flirted with other women? She said she didnt have a problem with women of other races in the video in the initial post, except asian women, that selective picking that one out of the whole ethnic choice denotes insecurity. How does picking one ethnicity "denote insecurity?" I'm mixed with black AND white. I have no Asian heritage. That is why I selectively picked out Asian women. I do find it hard to believe that he isn't fantasizing about other women in porn. To my knowledge, he hasn't cheated or flirted with other women.
burning 4 revenge Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 How does picking one ethnicity "denote insecurity?" I'm mixed with black AND white. I have no Asian heritage. That is why I selectively picked out Asian women. I do find it hard to believe that he isn't fantasizing about other women in porn. To my knowledge, he hasn't cheated or flirted with other women. Howcome you guys ripped off the Cuban flag and inverted the colors?
Pig Vomit Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 By interests I mean taste or type or who he finds most appealing. The men I grew up with (red blooded males) found women with hourglass figures most appealing. Of the Asian women (in the porn he watches) my bf showed me, not one had an hourglass figure. I have an hourglass figure. Yes, he knows it (watching porn of women who look nothing like me) is an issue with me because I told him it was. Any discussion of porn makes him clam up. This makes me angry. Too late. That could be a turn on, knowing you don't like him watching Asian porn might make it a forbidden fruit for him. Maybe you can try watching it with him. Does he watch any porn with Latinas? Theres some really hot Puerto Rican pornstars like Mason Storm, Dee, Fire, Raylene, etc.
Chrome Barracuda Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 How does picking one ethnicity "denote insecurity?" I'm mixed with black AND white. I have no Asian heritage. That is why I selectively picked out Asian women. I do find it hard to believe that he isn't fantasizing about other women in porn. To my knowledge, he hasn't cheated or flirted with other women. Because out of all the pretty women irreguardless of race you picked out one ethnic group who your aware of. plus you mention he's white and he's looking at asian porn. I mean am I wrong for reading in between the lines? I'm a guy and when i was dating a woman, I looked at porn but I didnt fantasize about others when I was with her. I mean porn to men ls visually stimulating, we might have a little fantasy about them but that's it... it's nothing but a fantasy. You know the odds of meeting and banging a actual porn star??? LMAO, real thin. So why sweat it. The moment you start sweating is when he contacts some female outside of y'alls relationship and keep that a secret.
Pig Vomit Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 How does picking one ethnicity "denote insecurity?" I'm mixed with black AND white. I have no Asian heritage. That is why I selectively picked out Asian women. I do find it hard to believe that he isn't fantasizing about other women in porn. To my knowledge, he hasn't cheated or flirted with other women. Why did you say you were Puerto Rican than?
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Meh, I wouldn't worry about this. Porn is a novelty and people treat it as such. And I'm saying people because even women (or at least me) tend to be attracted to certain types of pornography that they would never re-enact in real life. The asian thing is just an matter of something exotic or different. It doesn't mean he desires them more than you or thinks that you don't fit his profile of beauty. I'm 11 years younger than my boyfriend, so you'd think he'd be into the young/"teen" porn, but lately when I browsed through his recent videos (we share a porn website subscription ;p) he's been watching the "milf" stuff! Does that mean he wants to dump me for a 50 year old woman? No. Just like I might enjoy a video of three men and one woman gettin' it on in a library but would I actually want to do that? Probably not. If, however, he's not treating you well in general, it is probably independent of the porn, and it needs to be addressed.
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I like milfs!!! LOL:lmao: Nothing wrong with a little MILF action!
TheLoneSock Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 or by showing erotic pictures and videos of yourself to other men. Lol, you sound like a real winner. That doesn't sound spiteful and bitter at all. OP, don't take that part of her advice - it's rediculous and affair-ish.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Lol, you sound like a real winner. That doesn't sound spiteful and bitter at all. OP, don't take that part of her advice - it's rediculous and affair-ish. shhhh:mad: Wait till after she sends us the pics
Jaytb Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 shhhh:mad: Wait till after she sends us the pics Fat chance! lol
Stung Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Lol, you sound like a real winner. That doesn't sound spiteful and bitter at all. OP, don't take that part of her advice - it's rediculous and affair-ish. I don't know, I thought that was interesting. I have never done that, because in my relationship, we're agreed that this kind of thing would be disrespectful and just generally opening up a can of worms. And I tendto think most couples would agree. HOWEVER, I can see the point RubySlippers is trying to make...or at least I think I can. Women tend to have different sexual buttons than men, right? Men often zealously guard their porn stash even if it hurts their gf's feelings, declaiming that all it means is that men are visual, it's just part of their sexual needs which they insist their gf accept, and certainly no actual sex is taking place. Okay. So for the sake of argument, many women tend to be less visual, but get their own sexytime buttons pushed by being desired, by being drooled over and fantasized about (see how this can work at odds with the bf's need to desire and drool over other women, not her?). So, maybe she gets her needs met by sending out pictures and film for other men to appreciate so she can bask in their feedback, in the fantasy that that creates. She could certainly argue that this is just harmless fantasy catering to her own female needs and desires, and since no actual sex is taking place the bf should just accept it. I'm not saying that's the right way to go, but it might be a good intellectual exercise for a few of the less sensitive male porn afficianados out there, at least.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 ISo, maybe she gets her needs met by sending out pictures and film for other men to appreciate so she can bask in their feedback, in the fantasy that that creates. She could certainly argue that this is just harmless fantasy catering to her own female needs and desires, and since no actual sex is taking place the bf should just accept it. . At least we hope
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I don't know, I thought that was interesting. I have never done that, because in my relationship, we're agreed that this kind of thing would be disrespectful and just generally opening up a can of worms. And I tendto think most couples would agree. HOWEVER, I can see the point RubySlippers is trying to make...or at least I think I can. Women tend to have different sexual buttons than men, right? Men often zealously guard their porn stash even if it hurts their gf's feelings, declaiming that all it means is that men are visual, it's just part of their sexual needs which they insist their gf accept, and certainly no actual sex is taking place. Okay. So for the sake of argument, many women tend to be less visual, but get their own sexytime buttons pushed by being desired, by being drooled over and fantasized about (see how this can work at odds with the bf's need to desire and drool over other women, not her?). So, maybe she gets her needs met by sending out pictures and film for other men to appreciate so she can bask in their feedback, in the fantasy that that creates. She could certainly argue that this is just harmless fantasy catering to her own female needs and desires, and since no actual sex is taking place the bf should just accept it. I'm not saying that's the right way to go, but it might be a good intellectual exercise for a few of the less sensitive male porn afficianados out there, at least. Yes I agree...this is very interesting...I'd never thought of this before RubySlippers made that comment. I assume that it is not okay within my relationship (we've never discussed it but I could imagine my bf being kinda pissed if I did this) but it is an interesting point. I think it needs its own thread!
boogieboy Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I'm uncomfortable with my insecurity too! Now, how can I go back to my normal self? Won't he always think of me in this way? No, deep down I don't think he'll leave me for an Asian woman. I do wonder if this is a red flag though. How to go back? Accept that he watches it but still bangs you. Put it behind you and try to forget about it. Have some confidence that he likes you as you are. As long as hes not going out trolling for asian chicks, theres nothing for you to worry about. If you find him wackin off after you unsuccessfully seduced him, then you got a problem.
dazzle22 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I think you are being a typical woman (and I am one too) who is reading too much into stuff and asking too many questions. It is what we do when we don't stop ourselves and it makes guys nuts. When you look at women's brains on PET scans, our entire brain lights up when we are thinking...men, well, only compartmentalized areas are lighting up, and most of the brain is...resting.. Men are much less complicated then we are. We are high maintenance BMW's. They are as complicated as vintage VW bugs. This is the bottom line on men, and I bet the men on this thread would agree...they all look at porn, they like variety in their fantasies, though that doesn't mean they will stray,they fantasize about sex, not necessarily about love, they want to come home to a reasonable reasonably good looking woman who will let them have the remote, occasionally look at porn and other women, eat pizza in bed, play video games, not nag, not make them put the seat down, not ask too many questions that confuse them or make them uncomfortable...in return they will be fun, sexy, generally forgiving and not hold a grudge, work hard, kill bugs, change the oil, mow the lawn, give logical advice and just be the lovable boys we all are drawn to....ya got to love 'em!
Ody Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 He's says he watches porn with Asian women because there's a lot of it out there and they often don't look rough. He also said that they look "cute." I'm always told that I look hot or sexy or gorgeous. I'm never told I'm cute. I have a good asian friend, who is "cute". She complained once very strongly about how she's always called "cute" and never "hot". Grass is always greener I suppose. I feel like most men have a look they go for. My boyfriend told me he doesn't have a look. You feel wrong. Most men can get off on a wide variety of looks. Some men may have one they prefer a bit more, and a few a very narrow taste, but given the easy availability of all kinds of porn, most men just indulge the whole breadth of their fantasies, and that's what you saw. A variety. I won't even get into the porn morality debate. There are a million threads on that. From a purely practical point of view, it is your problem because he will not stop viewing porn, at most he will just hide it more. So you need to decide if you are going to dump him, get over it, or keep up the kind of passive aggressive approach indefinitely. Realize that you have every right to masturbate in equivalent ways, using toys, pictures of men, or by showing erotic pictures and videos of yourself to other men. I'll warn you now that men are going to argue with all or some of this. Of course, they want to have their porn and eat it, too. Welcome to the modern age. I agree with this, as long as the interaction was completely anonymous. (Either gender has the right to object to personalized sexual gratification with a third party). I have been in similar situations to what you describe. Not all men jealously covet their partners' complete sexual attention while beating off to every fake boob on the internet. There is a wide streak of male hypocracy on this matter. But you might be surprised by more exceptions than you think.
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Why did you say you were Puerto Rican than? Yes, Pig Vomit. I am Puerto Rican. I have African AND European heritage. Many Latinas do. I don't understand how you figured these two facts are mutually exclusive.
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Lol, you sound like a real winner. That doesn't sound spiteful and bitter at all. OP, don't take that part of her advice - it's rediculous and affair-ish. I can't say I haven't thought about it!!! All jokes aside, no, I wouldn't do it.
Stung Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Not all men jealously covet their partners' complete sexual attention while beating off to every fake boob on the internet. There is a wide streak of male hypocracy on this matter. But you might be surprised by more exceptions than you think. Yep. I am married to such an exception , and I love it. Kiss_andmakeup, I was once involved in a similar discussion with a former bf, it was pretty enlightening. I learned to make it part of my selection criteria for potential mates, that we be at least 90% on the same page re: sexual boundaries and freedoms. It's a good place to be, the same page. Back to the OP: First of all, no, his looking at porn that features mainly white, black, or Asian women does not mean he has a fetish for Asian women. By definition if he had an actual fetish for Asian women, he wouldn't want anything but Asian porn and Asian women, and clearly that is not the case. All it seems to mean is that he finds more than one ethnicity and body type attractive...welcome to the real world, where people rarely conform to rigid stereotypes. I'm sorry that this makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable, but that is an issue of YOURS...and that's fine, as long as you understand that and try to figure out how to deal with it. It sounds like you've been trying to deal with it by trying to control him and make him feel bad about his preferences after you asked about them, and obviously that's not working. Perhaps you can try explaining to him that you feel a bit insecure, and asking him to help you feel better by telling you what he likes about you, by reminding you that he finds YOU sexy and beautiful. It might be an untenable situation, but it might be as simple a fix as letting him know that he needs to be verbal and obvious about clearly putting you first, and then you can relax about where the rest falls. Sometimes men forget to actually say these things.
tami-chan Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Oh for pete's sake! not another 'asian woman fetish" thread AGAIN! ..... people, truly...give it up...we are cute AND hot, smart and destined to take over the world :rolleyes:!!!!!....jesus h. christ!
Chrome Barracuda Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Did you even read the first post Tami??? Or just spouting off again? It's not solely about asian women.
tami-chan Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Oh ok for some reason I thought this was a different section. Ya pussy lips all the way! Luckily she wasn;t naturally hairy down there, i asked if she trims but she doesn't and it wasn't even that much at all! OH WELL ugh...hairy down there....one word: WAX!
Stung Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Oh for pete's sake! not another 'asian woman fetish" thread AGAIN! ..... people, truly...give it up...we are cute AND hot, smart and destined to take over the world :rolleyes:!!!!!....jesus h. christ! Oh, well...isn't it nice to be popular, Tami?
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