lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 So I'm a young Puerto Rican woman. I've been lurking here for a month. I decided to post today because I really need some advice. I've been dating a white man. Recently, we're talked about our porn viewing habits. (Yes, I asked.) He says he watches porn featuring black, white, and Asian women (no not South Asian, East Asian). This is all online by the way. I'm not at all thrilled that he watches porn. What REALLY bothers me is that he enjoys porn featuring Asian women. He's white so I can understand the white women. I'm Latina so I also understand both the white and black women. Why Asian women? Yes, I know attractiveness is found in all groups. However, I look nothing like an Asian woman. He's says he watches porn with Asian women because there's a lot of it out there and they often don't look rough. He also said that they look "cute." I'm always told that I look hot or sexy or gorgeous. I'm never told I'm cute. I feel like most men have a look they go for. My boyfriend told me he doesn't have a look. I put time into looking the best I can and I feel that he doesn't appreciate it. These women he looks at don't have bodies or faces like mine. So, I'm wondering where his interests really lie. I heard what he's had to tell me but I still feel weird. You may ask, "Does he treat you well?" Well, lately he's told me that the questions I've asked him are unpleasant and I'm being annoying. So, no, I can't say he's this super sweet man that just happens to enjoy watching Asian women. Why would he feel uncomfortable if he doesn't have anything to hide? I'm so uncomfortable about this! Do you have any idea why? Is this a racial problem? Is this a man/woman problem? Is this a ME problem? Thanks for reading.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Eh I wouldn't think too much about his choice of women in porn. And don't relate to anything he watches in porn to you. That's what I find with lots of women, they think the porn is replacing them. That's not the case. He will watch it before he met you, when he's going to watch it when he's with you. It's how men are. All my past relationships both me and my gfs were very open about these things and they were comfortable, they even watch it themselves. Don't worry he's not judging you.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Oh and about Asian women... ya don't worry about them. It's that mystery, that exotic look they find compelling. They think we come from the land of the dragon of the Eastern mist and that we cast magic fairy spells.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Most people here are going to tell you that "all men watch porn", "it has nothing to do with you", and to be a good girlfriend, you need to "deal with it". The idea of it used to kind of break my heart. Now I realize that the best I'm probably going to do is to just ignore it and adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Realize that you have every right to masturbate in equivalent ways, using toys, pictures of men, or by showing erotic pictures and videos of yourself to other men. I'll warn you now that men are going to argue with all or some of this. Of course, they want to have their porn and eat it, too. Welcome to the modern age.
burning 4 revenge Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Oh and about Asian women... ya don't worry about them. It's that mystery, that exotic look they find compelling. They think we come from the land of the dragon of the Eastern mist and that we cast magic fairy spells. Haha youre quite the dreamy romantic arent you? Thats not why guys are into Asian women. Theyre not some metaphor for adventures along myserious oriental spice routes We like them because they make our penis fill bigger
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I do think porn in a relationship can be an issue. And I do think it says something about the person . Especially what they like watching. What they are watchign says something about what they really want to do. Personally, you do like something visual to masturbate to, I dont really like scenario porn though. What I find kinda hot are vids of women masturbating. I dont like porn stars, too fake and perfect. More amateur . I dont like guys in it, and I dont like lesbian porn. Doesnt do anything for me. More the kind of stuff where you can see everything:o But Id much rather look at my gf doing it in front of me than someone on a computer screen. So shell send me stuff, which is hot as hell. Plus knowing her its actually more so than anything by strangers. Maybe send him some stuff. Another thing that I think Is OMFG so damn hot is some pictures. Shell ask what do you want, and for some reason I find ones of her not completely undressed, but frontal shots with her underwear not off but pulled down really......yeah that works:love:
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Oh and about Asian women... ya don't worry about them. It's that mystery, that exotic look they find compelling. They think we come from the land of the dragon of the Eastern mist and that we cast magic fairy spells. I don't want to be involved with a man who believes this or who thinks like burning 4 revenge. Are his porn-viewing habits evidence enough that he's a man who fetishizes/prefers Asian women?
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 For sure hes fetishing them Thats not even a question What kind of asian porn though That can be even scarier I dated a girl onc who got off watching vids of office sluts. The kind that were available and used by all men in an office:eek:
fral945 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I put time into looking the best I can and I feel that he doesn't appreciate it. These women he looks at don't have bodies or faces like mine. So, I'm wondering where his interests really lie. This statement is confusing. What "interests" are you talking about? It sounds like he is like any other red blooded male. The bottom line is that male sexual nature is variety oriented. He's watching porn with Asian women because they are different (and not necessarily better). If you were Asian he'd probably watch more Puerto Rican porn, lol. Why would he feel uncomfortable if he doesn't have anything to hide? I'm so uncomfortable about this! Do you have any idea why? Is this a racial problem? Is this a man/woman problem? Is this a ME problem? I assume you're uncomfortable because you don't approve of it. Based on your statements you obviously aren't accepting or comfortable with his porn viewing. He probably feels uncomfortable discussing the topic because (like most men) he knows or senses it is an issue with you. I don't know how you are bringing the subject up in conversation but my advice is to try to have a discussion in a calm and rational manner and don't get angry or confrontational.
CarrieT Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 It is a fantasy thing and has nothing to do with you. I watch all sorts of porn with situations and guys I would NEVER consider or engage with and I'm a girl. Just because I watch a certain type of porn does not mean I wish to engage in that activity, it is just a fantasy. And what we do in our minds is way different than how we feel with our hearts.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I do think porn in a relationship can be an issue. And I do think it says something about the person . Especially what they like watching. What they are watchign says something about what they really want to do. Personally, you do like something visual to masturbate to, I dont really like scenario porn though. What I find kinda hot are vids of women masturbating. I dont like porn stars, too fake and perfect. More amateur . I dont like guys in it, and I dont like lesbian porn. Doesnt do anything for me. More the kind of stuff where you can see everything:o But Id much rather look at my gf doing it in front of me than someone on a computer screen. So shell send me stuff, which is hot as hell. Plus knowing her its actually more so than anything by strangers. Maybe send him some stuff. Another thing that I think Is OMFG so damn hot is some pictures. Shell ask what do you want, and for some reason I find ones of her not completely undressed, but frontal shots with her underwear not off but pulled down really......yeah that works:love: Ya i used to like it when my Asian ex girlfriend used to have black and white pics of her taken in her jeans and topless.. I find that hot... topless with jeans on a girl... especially her.... OH WELL..
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Ya i used to like it when my Asian ex girlfriend used to have black and white pics of her taken in her jeans and topless.. I find that hot... topless with jeans on a girl... especially her.... OH WELL.. OMFG that is hot. I love her in jeans And any pic of her with pussy lips in it is awesome lol Its also cute, hot when they write your name on themselves like" property of...":love:
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 I do think porn in a relationship can be an issue. And I do think it says something about the person . Especially what they like watching. What they are watchign says something about what they really want to do. Personally, you do like something visual to masturbate to, I dont really like scenario porn though. What I find kinda hot are vids of women masturbating. I dont like porn stars, too fake and perfect. More amateur . I dont like guys in it, and I dont like lesbian porn. Doesnt do anything for me. More the kind of stuff where you can see everything:o But Id much rather look at my gf doing it in front of me than someone on a computer screen. So shell send me stuff, which is hot as hell. Plus knowing her its actually more so than anything by strangers. Maybe send him some stuff. Another thing that I think Is OMFG so damn hot is some pictures. Shell ask what do you want, and for some reason I find ones of her not completely undressed, but frontal shots with her underwear not off but pulled down really......yeah that works:love: Lol...awww. My bf prefers amateur too. He says he watches it once a week only if I'm not available. (We don't live together.) So, what does my bf's porn say about him and what he really wants to do? More details: I've been described as: hot, having an "onion booty" (so beautiful it makes you want to cry...not my words), sexy, statuesque, etc. While the Asian women he showed me are all cute (baby-faced), don't have much of a butt or hips for that matter, and are short. They're essentially my opposite.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 OMFG that is hot. I love her in jeans And any pic of her with pussy lips in it is awesome lol Its also cute, hot when they write your name on themselves like" property of...":love: Ok whoa, i wasn't expecting you bringing up genital parts... whoa
boogieboy Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Hes uncomfortable with your insecurity. YOu think he will leave you for an asian woman? if you do, then you should bail out now. If youre that young, I guess youre learning that its not all about you. He will always watch porn, he wont stop for you. Your best bet is to bail out and go find a guy that doesnt need to watch porn while hes with you...since you cant handle it. I hope for your sake that the asian porn he watches isnt the scat porn....
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Lol...awww. My bf prefers amateur too. He says he watches it once a week only if I'm not available. (We don't live together.) So, what does my bf's porn say about him and what he really wants to do? More details: I've been described as: hot, having an "onion booty" (so beautiful it makes you want to cry...not my words), sexy, statuesque, etc. While the Asian women he showed me are all cute (baby-faced), don't have much of a butt or hips for that matter, and are short. They're essentially my opposite. IDK hon. Ive always been more of a slut. Ive never stayed loyal to any particular type of ethnic porn The guy has a fetish for asian women. I dont know what ehs watchign, or how hes playing it out in his head. Are they schoolgirls? Rape scenes? bukakae? Idk
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Ok whoa, i wasn't expecting you bringing up genital parts... whoa Its a porn discussion Whats wrong with you:)
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Its a porn discussion Whats wrong with you:) Oh ok for some reason I thought this was a different section. Ya pussy lips all the way! Luckily she wasn;t naturally hairy down there, i asked if she trims but she doesn't and it wasn't even that much at all! OH WELL
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Oh ok for some reason I thought this was a different section. Ya pussy lips all the way! Luckily she wasn;t naturally hairy down there, i asked if she trims but she doesn't and it wasn't even that much at all! OH WELL Im totally spoiled now. Dont want to be picking hair out of my teeth
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 This statement is confusing. What "interests" are you talking about? It sounds like he is like any other red blooded male. The bottom line is that male sexual nature is variety oriented. He's watching porn with Asian women because they are different (and not necessarily better). If you were Asian he'd probably watch more Puerto Rican porn, lol. I assume you're uncomfortable because you don't approve of it. Based on your statements you obviously aren't accepting or comfortable with his porn viewing. He probably feels uncomfortable discussing the topic because (like most men) he knows or senses it is an issue with you. I don't know how you are bringing the subject up in conversation but my advice is to try to have a discussion in a calm and rational manner and don't get angry or confrontational. By interests I mean taste or type or who he finds most appealing. The men I grew up with (red blooded males) found women with hourglass figures most appealing. Of the Asian women (in the porn he watches) my bf showed me, not one had an hourglass figure. I have an hourglass figure. Yes, he knows it (watching porn of women who look nothing like me) is an issue with me because I told him it was. Any discussion of porn makes him clam up. This makes me angry. Too late.
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Hes uncomfortable with your insecurity. YOu think he will leave you for an asian woman? if you do, then you should bail out now. If youre that young, I guess youre learning that its not all about you. He will always watch porn, he wont stop for you. Your best bet is to bail out and go find a guy that doesnt need to watch porn while hes with you...since you cant handle it. I hope for your sake that the asian porn he watches isnt the scat porn.... I'm uncomfortable with my insecurity too! Now, how can I go back to my normal self? Won't he always think of me in this way? No, deep down I don't think he'll leave me for an Asian woman. I do wonder if this is a red flag though.
Chrome Barracuda Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 So I'm a young Puerto Rican woman. I've been lurking here for a month. I decided to post today because I really need some advice. I've been dating a white man. Recently, we're talked about our porn viewing habits. (Yes, I asked.) He says he watches porn featuring black, white, and Asian women (no not South Asian, East Asian). This is all online by the way. I'm not at all thrilled that he watches porn. What REALLY bothers me is that he enjoys porn featuring Asian women. He's white so I can understand the white women. I'm Latina so I also understand both the white and black women. Why Asian women? Yes, I know attractiveness is found in all groups. However, I look nothing like an Asian woman. He's says he watches porn with Asian women because there's a lot of it out there and they often don't look rough. He also said that they look "cute." I'm always told that I look hot or sexy or gorgeous. I'm never told I'm cute. I feel like most men have a look they go for. My boyfriend told me he doesn't have a look. I put time into looking the best I can and I feel that he doesn't appreciate it. These women he looks at don't have bodies or faces like mine. So, I'm wondering where his interests really lie. I heard what he's had to tell me but I still feel weird. You may ask, "Does he treat you well?" Well, lately he's told me that the questions I've asked him are unpleasant and I'm being annoying. So, no, I can't say he's this super sweet man that just happens to enjoy watching Asian women. Why would he feel uncomfortable if he doesn't have anything to hide? I'm so uncomfortable about this! Do you have any idea why? Is this a racial problem? Is this a man/woman problem? Is this a ME problem? Thanks for reading. What does it matter if HE'S BANGING YOU!!! stop being so insecure, if he wanted an asian girl he could have been with one, but he's with you.
Author lilmissgrouchy Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 IDK hon. Ive always been more of a slut. Ive never stayed loyal to any particular type of ethnic porn The guy has a fetish for asian women. I dont know what ehs watchign, or how hes playing it out in his head. Are they schoolgirls? Rape scenes? bukakae? Idk He's watching clips you can find on youporn, redtube, etc. I don't know what he's watching either. He told me he doesn't think about having sex with these women. He enjoys watching cute and sexy women (that look like they like it) having sex. No, they're not rape scenes!
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 What does it matter if HE'S BANGING YOU!!! stop being so insecure, if he wanted an asian girl he could have been with one, but he's with you. Thats bs It bothers her. Is his f'ing porn more important than the person hes actually professing to care about. This bs that its like air, one cant live without it nonsense. Its f'ing pics, nothing more If she was into it fine. She isnt
calizaggy Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 By interests I mean taste or type or who he finds most appealing. The men I grew up with (red blooded males) found women with hourglass figures most appealing. Of the Asian women (in the porn he watches) my bf showed me, not one had an hourglass figure. I have an hourglass figure. Yes, he knows it (watching porn of women who look nothing like me) is an issue with me because I told him it was. Any discussion of porn makes him clam up. This makes me angry. Too late. This is pretty simple.. Men like variety. If you are dating a girl with small boobs, you fantazise about large ones. If you are dating a short girl, you fantasize about a tall girl. It would make no sense to FANTASIZE about a similar type woman that you are sleeping with everyday..
Recommended Posts