gsly Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 Hi everyone, this is my first post here and hope that i could get some great information. well here's my question: there's this girl who've i've been kinda see'ing for the last few weeks so basically our last two dates were going to each of our houses and watching movies and cuddling, until my third date, as i was leaving to go home shes said to me and was like I figured you were trying for this(because i was a little shy that night) and i got a kiss. We've talked about being more then just friends, and she said she wanted to think about it, which is neither a yes or no, and i told her that i totally understand about rushing into things(which i do) so i guess my question is this weekend we are going to do something and that's it so far. Like i said we've mostly just watched movie's(as dates) and i thought that it would make a difference if i thought of something fun yet not spending alot of money because im on a tight budget right now. so what i've thought of could be going to a grocery store picking up some food and cooking dinner together(because we both like to cook) and watch movies the rest of the night. It's hard in my town to find stuff to do because there's not much here and it's getting pretty cold out now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 ice skating. not that cold yet..we've have talked about going for a walk by the river, its just the only time we wanted to go the weather was crappy out. and that's the weather is looking like for this weekend also Link to post Share on other sites
citizen67 Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I think cooking a meal together sounds fun and romantic Link to post Share on other sites
New Again Posted December 3, 2009 Share Posted December 3, 2009 I totally hibernate in the winter, and feel a lot less social and would usually rather stay in...bring on the movie nights and wine! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 thanks for all the help! i greatly appreciate it! I guess my other question would be after the second date i was just hinting around with her and i asked her out, in a humourous way, she likes me because i can make her laugh and she can actually have conversation with me. so i hinted to her about possibly being more then friends, she told me that she needed to think about it and not rush into things, i told her i was for that! Now the only reason why i was asking for this advice was i have a feeling that this next date might make or break it on her decision Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 4, 2009 Author Share Posted December 4, 2009 well it's set..im going tomorrow evening to get flowers, pick her up, make dinner, then watch a movie(or two) Link to post Share on other sites
Ody Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Good plan, make sure you kiss her this time. Link to post Share on other sites
someotherguy Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Do NOT give her the opportunity to 'hint' at things, and for God's sake man, stop asking her if she wants to be 'more than friends'. Touch her. Kiss her. Escalate your physical closeness and she will either reciprocate and you will graduate to a new level in your 'relationship', or she will brush you back and you will know she isn't the right one and you will not have wasted a lot of time. Good luck! Have fun! Sometimes, it's tough to be a man, women speak an entirely different language than us, and remember, always remember: fortune favors the bold. If you don't escalate with her, some other guy will steal her away from you, guaranteed. Women don't like wusses. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 remember, always remember: fortune favors the bold. Yay! Agreed! Grab her and plant one on her. Link to post Share on other sites
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Dont kiss her Its disgusting Studies have proven a womans mouth is ther most germ ridden place on the planet. I think it has to do with their ovaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 6, 2009 Author Share Posted December 6, 2009 ok so the date went really good last night minus a few things..so i call her about a hour and a half before our date to see if she still wanted to do something which she said yea, but she was saying how she wanted to be home early because she wasnt feeling 100%. So i went to pick her up, went to the door, she answered and i gave her a small amount of flowers, and she liked them alot. So on the way back to my house, we both decided that we weren't really hungry so we just stopped at the grocery store and got a snack and came back and watched two movies(and talked about half of the time) so then came the end of the movie and i came out and asked her if she had a problem if i kissed her and she said no. so i take her home, she tells me i can have one quick kiss cuz she's not feeling the best so i get one then she comes back for a second one....she got a chuckle when i told her if i got sick it'd would've been worth it =) and she said had a good time watching movies and meeting my family..so my best friend called me when i was going asking how my date went and i told him that it was good i thought. then i sent her a txt message saying that i had a good time spending time with her. so, now, here's were im stuck. I'm starting to get curious(being after the 4th date and all) wether to see if she wants to be in a relationship or just be good friends. I've been hinting around at asking but i havent been serious and the response i was getting from her was she needs to think about it. so since i couldn't get much sleep cuz i was thinking about it last night, is that i was going to call her at work today(she doesn't mind me doing that) tell her that i know she's thinking about it, and let her just know how i feel. Link to post Share on other sites
someotherguy Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 You are in serious danger of being friend-zoned here. Stop hinting around. Stop asking her if she wants to be "more than a friend". Here's how it works. Ask her on a date. Make absolutely sure you use the word "date" when you ask her. Make sure it's out to do something fun, just the two of you. Not a movie. Repeat: not a movie. Dinner would be ok, but something fun you both enjoy would be better. You need to escalate your physical contact with her. Touch her, kiss her, etc. If she says anything about it not being a "date", she just wants to be friends, move on. If you go to dinner and she wants to pick up her half of the tab, you're sunk, she just wants to be friends. Move on. If she backs off when you try to touch or kiss her, again, friend zone, move on. Move in for the kill, and if it doesn't work out, move on. The vast, vast, VAST majority of the time, women know immediately whether a particular guy could be their boyfriend. If she's waffling, move on. She is either willing to eventually have sex with you or she's not. If not, then you'll be stuck listening to her b!tch and moan about whatever jerk she's dating, and emotionally draining you. Do NOT settle for that, my friend. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 I've been hinting around at asking but i havent been serious and the response i was getting from her was she needs to think about it. If she needs to think about it, she's not ready. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 6, 2009 Author Share Posted December 6, 2009 Make sure it's out to do something fun, just the two of you. Not a movie. Repeat: not a movie. Dinner would be ok, but something fun you both enjoy would be better. You need to escalate your physical contact with her. Touch her, kiss her, etc. basically that's what we did..we didn't go to a theater, just came home, lights out and had us time Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 6, 2009 Author Share Posted December 6, 2009 so i need a second opinion on my idea here, does asking her to come to dinner for my mom's suprise bday dinner sound like a really bad idea? she's already met my parents, sister and brother in law last night night. Link to post Share on other sites
sonicranger Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Hmm, that doesn't really fall into "date" category. I honestly would not invite her to something like that. It's still very new and that would be a lot of "pressure" on her, being around all of "your" people. I agree with what someone else said. To fully determine is this is "the real deal" or not, you need to go on a real date. NO MOVIES. You can't talk during a movie or if you do it can be distracting. Go to Home Depot (this is way more fun than you think, you learn a lot about a person @ HD) go ice skating, go for a walk "downtown", go to an art museum, go SOMEWHERE that you and her can be together. Some of the best dates I've ever been on would seem downright boring to most people but its about the TWO of you, no one else. Also, as others have said, quit being so pensive and just DO IT. You've proven to her that you're an honorable guy by asking and going slow. Next time you want to kiss her, when the moment is right MOVE IN THERE AND DO IT. Grab the small of her back with one hand and bring her to you, hold her other hand in yours, SHOW her how you feel. It doesn't have to be wet n slimy either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 I guess here's a little update sunday night i ended up going out to a bar with a bunch of her friends and we all had a blast, they all enjoyed my company and i had the same good time. They want me to come out again on thursday night to show me how they all have a good time and told me to find a ride home for that night(they kinda hinted for me to ask her to drive me home)so when i talked to her yesterday she said she would do that for me(basically im giving her my keys to my car so she doesnt have to waste her gas and she's going to pick up my car and meet me at the bar cuz she has to work late). on the whole dating side im going to give a little more time before i say anything else because also when we talked she told me that she hasn't dated really in a little over 5 years and she was in a 4yr relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
MadDriver Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Do NOT give her the opportunity to 'hint' at things, and for God's sake man, stop asking her if she wants to be 'more than friends'. Touch her. Kiss her. Escalate your physical closeness and she will either reciprocate and you will graduate to a new level in your 'relationship', or she will brush you back and you will know she isn't the right one and you will not have wasted a lot of time. Best advice on this thread! BUMP! Men, this is good stuff! Just do what comes naturally -- that is, you want to kiss her. You know you want to kiss her. The only thing stopping you is the societal/religious/family/friends/women-of-loveshack brainwashing... Forget all that and let the caveman inside you come out! Link to post Share on other sites
MadDriver Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 The vast, vast, VAST majority of the time, women know immediately whether a particular guy could be their boyfriend. If she's waffling, move on. She is either willing to eventually have sex with you or she's not. My personal experience is consistent with this observation... I'd add that women only need about 5 minutes to make this determination ("Would I ever have sex with this unknown guy in front of me whom I just met? Let's see what his qualities are..."). On the other hand, men only need, oh, 5 to 10 seconds to check out a girl to see if there's any major physical deal breakers to sex ("Does she weigh 300 lbs? Is she healthy & hygienic?"). Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 10, 2009 Author Share Posted December 10, 2009 Just do what comes naturally -- that is, you want to kiss her. You know you want to kiss her. The only thing stopping you is the societal/religious/family/friends/women-of-loveshack brainwashing... Forget all that and let the caveman inside you come out! thats what im going to start doing, we've both admitted that we're both shy and started talking more, which is a good thing, we txt alot Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 16, 2009 Author Share Posted December 16, 2009 Ok a little update here.. ok well her and i havent hungout in almost 10 days..but we've seen eachother at our classes and we still talk almost everynight for almost close to a hour before we go to bed..now is it normal for like a date not to go on for like almost two weeks(her and i talked and we're doing something saturday night)? Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 well it's a bit weird. Why haven't you gone out with her? Exams maybe? Well, if someone wants to go out with you they'll make time for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gsly Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 well it's a bit weird. Why haven't you gone out with her? Exams maybe? Well, if someone wants to go out with you they'll make time for it. it's finals week for both of us and this weekend i have off, and last week she was busy with xmas get togethers Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I saw that you were planning to ask her to get serious with you. Make sure you dont do that yet. You have to see each other alot more often for that kind of talk. Matter of fact, let her ask you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts