Can someones perception change of someone after knowing them for a while?

[LonelyGuy85]

I have been friends with a girl i met in work when i started about 5 months ago. We have been consistent friends since then, but i have grown to like her more than friends, but in my mind i imagine she still just sees me as her friend.

 

I personally am not the type of guy who can pick up a girl in bar, simply because i prefer to get to know somone before i find them attractive. Lust is easy when you see someone you find attractive, but for me i take a while getting to know someone and then i know whether or not i like them. The problem is that in that time i don't flirt or anything, but if i were to suddenly change and start flirting is it possible for them to change their perspective of me from being a friend? Is this realistic, or just someone made up hollywood idea?

[TaraMaiden]

I hate to sound harsh, but if you think about it seriously, this is a really stupid question.

 

Can perceptions change?

Of course they can!

They do! They must!

 

I don't see my partner in the same light every day, let alone every few weeks!

Fundamentally, I know his character and temperament, but my appreciation (or otherwise) of how his transitory persona manifests itself changes all the time.

It takes two to create a perception:

That which we perceive, and our own appraisal of that perception.

 

you know what?

Don't think about flirting.

Just ask her straight out - "would you like to go on a date with me? How about dinner one evening?"

 

sometimes a direct approach is far better than pussyfooting around and trying to be someone you're not cut out to be.....

 

her perception of you would be distorted then, wouldn't it?

[bluestraps]

Yes, Its very possible. Take it from me I have a different situation from yours but it is still very similar.

 

I have a friend of 18 yrs, . My ex girlfriend started getting closer to him. over the last few months. We would go to his apt to visit. it was very inocent .He was my friend My girl and I were together for 9 years. AT first I know she felt no atraction to him after all we were happy, right.

 

He is not really anything to wory about hes got no car, he works, but its part time he lives with his mom. Hes not really good looking, hes not smart, I dont think hes very interesting or even really fun.

 

But they started talking about me And our problems. SO I dont know what happened but she started having a crush on him. She was disatisfied with our relationship.

 

So now she left me for the friend. So you are finfing yourself seing this person as more than a friend. So from my misery I have a awnser for you . If you like her just go for it, dont be afraid She may like you and jump your bones. Good Luck

[LonelyGuy85]

 

Don't think about flirting.

Just ask her straight out - "would you like to go on a date with me? How about dinner one evening?"

 

sometimes a direct approach is far better than pussyfooting around and trying to be someone you're not cut out to be.....

 

her perception of you would be distorted then, wouldn't it?

 

I agree, if i did that i am sure here perception would change of me. I would no longer be that guy and instead i would at least be that guy who would like to go out with her. What's that saying. Regret the things you didn't do, not the things you did.

 

The problem is that as you say "Better than pussyfooting around and trying to be somone you're not cut out to be", the problem is that the guy who jumps into these situations feet first is someone i am not.

 

I have been having anxiety attacks over the last few months though, because i know i need to change my personality but i just can't seem to do it. I have to do something.

 

It's actually quite funny really. If someone suggested bungie jumping, skydiving etc, i would be the first person to try it, but as soon as it comes to matter of the opposite sex, i am a stone.