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he says he wants to see me, but doesn't act it!! supposed to be my BF?!


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Posted

we work together, he's 26, and im 20. his only day off is Wednesday. i have 2 days off, so when we get out at 6am wednesday morning, i drive him home and we were just talkin about going out today. the first and last time we went out, was to a park... in JULY. we are kinda bf/gf.. just not confirmed yet i guess. all we do is talk, flirt, make out,... yeah.

its my parents that are really overprotective and crazy.. thats the reason we never really go out. we just love each other so until i move out, things are just crazy. im not gonna let this guy go because of my overprotective, judging parents. they never met the guy before, they are just being stupid because he is not the same race as us. they believe that as far as dating goes, stay in your race.

so here is the thing: we were gonna just go out tonight... he said he was gonna text me when he woke up at 12pm, but he never did. i woke up at 6pm, and texted him... but he NEVER answered.

i dont get how he is the one that comes up with these ideas to go out, and he cant wait to see me out of uniform, etc... but he cant take a minute to text me??? all day??

its confusing.

i used to text him on his days off first, but i stopped doing that. ive been waiting for him to text me. so when he does text me, its usually just whats up, hows it going, etc... thats it. after a while, the texting convo just dies. when we are together, nobody can tear us apart.

its really hurtful to me that he cant just tell me that he couldnt go out last night... when we sorta had the plans!!! =(

Posted

Sounds to me like he's not really into you seriously. You fill his time when he's at work - but he's most likely seeing someone else.

  • Author
Posted

thank you. thats something i have thought about. something that i hope is so not true, because i think so much more of him than that. im a serious person, and when i am in a relationship, i am in a relationship.

Posted
the first and last time we went out, was to a park... in JULY. we are kinda bf/gf.. just not confirmed yet i guess.

It doesn't sound like a relationship, to me. It sounds to me like you're good for entertainment while he's at work. But he doesn't even make an effort to see you outside of work. I say drop the chump - he's not worth your time. He can't even be nice enough to return a text, I wouldn't be bothered to even speak to him at work.

  • Author
Posted

thanks.. i agree. tomorrow if he doesnt tell me his phone broke or whatever, im done. thats the only reasonable excuse he can give me. from now on i will be very limited with him. i cant be somebodys entertainment as you say.. i really hope thats not it... thanks for your help

Posted
we work together, he's 26, and im 20. his only day off is Wednesday. i have 2 days off, so when we get out at 6am wednesday morning, i drive him home and we were just talkin about going out today. the first and last time we went out, was to a park... in JULY. we are kinda bf/gf.. just not confirmed yet i guess. all we do is talk, flirt, make out,... yeah.

its my parents that are really overprotective and crazy.. thats the reason we never really go out. we just love each other so until i move out, things are just crazy. im not gonna let this guy go because of my overprotective, judging parents. they never met the guy before, they are just being stupid because he is not the same race as us. they believe that as far as dating goes, stay in your race.

so here is the thing: we were gonna just go out tonight... he said he was gonna text me when he woke up at 12pm, but he never did. i woke up at 6pm, and texted him... but he NEVER answered.

i dont get how he is the one that comes up with these ideas to go out, and he cant wait to see me out of uniform, etc... but he cant take a minute to text me??? all day??

its confusing.

i used to text him on his days off first, but i stopped doing that. ive been waiting for him to text me. so when he does text me, its usually just whats up, hows it going, etc... thats it. after a while, the texting convo just dies. when we are together, nobody can tear us apart.

its really hurtful to me that he cant just tell me that he couldnt go out last night... when we sorta had the plans!!! =(

 

 

First you have to consider that you two may just not be compatible. You are a 20 year old - not yet an adult really - who lives with 'overprotective and crazy' and bigoted parents. He is a 26 year old - adult - who presumably lives by himself (you'd hope so, a person who doesnt by that age is sad) working a full time job. You are at different stages in life, you have different responsibilities, you have different freedoms, you have different needs, etc.

 

Second you have to consider what you are offering him. How are you worth it to him? Are you giving him what you would want from a partner, or are you giving him what he would want from a partner?

 

Of course you need to consider whether or not he can be what you want in a partner - but you can't write him off as a 'chump' who is incapable yet because you barely know him yet, you rarely ever see each other outside the workplace so how can you?

  • Author
Posted

ok well i never called him a chump.. i think really highly of him. he called my mom "the police" and "my family is crazy" because everything that i wanna do, like go out for the night will come along with a million questions.. and i agree with him. they want me to hide from the world!

 

im never said that we're soul mates & stuff, we are still getting to know each other. thats the point, right? im not talking about if we're compatible... but wouldn't it be the right thing to do to text somebody and say that he is busy today, sick, or whatever? it doesnt take that much effort, considering we DID have plans. its just the right thing to do.

 

we are pretty much dating, or so i thought. if he cant take time to talk to me, then i dont know what to think. if he only really makes time for me at work, then thats a little suspicious. if it is his idea, and of course mine, to hang out outside of work, then how can u say i am calling him a chump because i barely know him? i had every intention to go out with him last night....... ha.

 

funny how ya mention that, wed. morning he just said how he didnt know much about me... i asked him what he meant and he wouldnt tell me. he asked about the parents like his questions on why they do that and i told him the truth... i have no idea!! i have my head screwed on straight, im really responsible, i have always been. im not stupid, you know... and then he told me his life story. when he came to america, his 3 cousins that work with US!! that i have no idea they were even his cousins... nice to know. haha.

Posted

I know you didn't call him a chump someone else did.

 

Basically follow my advice, write it down if it helps you, whatever.

 

Do you have sex with him?

Posted
I know you didn't call him a chump someone else did.

 

Basically follow my advice, write it down if it helps you, whatever.

 

Do you have sex with him?

He IS a chump. Go read her thread in the OW/OM forum before judging, dude. This guy is a total deadbeat.

  • Author
Posted

No, I dont have sex with him.

Posted
No, I dont have sex with him.

 

So you don't meet his needs. What did you expect?

Posted
So you don't meet his needs. What did you expect?

Holy ****. Jaclyn - do NOT listen to this guy. You're going to get your heart broken!! Do you really want that after giving it up to him physically??

Posted
No, I dont have sex with him.

 

 

Like one poster said you guys have different needs at your age. One of his needs is sex and he is spending time with a person who is giving it to him. I guarantee it.

Posted
Maybe you should focus on working and not fooling around so much with men.

 

 

Isn't it the truth! According to some of the threads here on LS no one goes to work to actually work anymore. Work seems to be a 'pick up' joint these days.

Posted
we work together, he's 26, and im 20. his only day off is Wednesday. i have 2 days off, so when we get out at 6am wednesday morning, i drive him home and we were just talkin about going out today. the first and last time we went out, was to a park... in JULY. we are kinda bf/gf.. just not confirmed yet i guess. all we do is talk, flirt, make out,... yeah.

its my parents that are really overprotective and crazy.. thats the reason we never really go out. we just love each other so until i move out, things are just crazy. im not gonna let this guy go because of my overprotective, judging parents. they never met the guy before, they are just being stupid because he is not the same race as us. they believe that as far as dating goes, stay in your race.

so here is the thing: we were gonna just go out tonight... he said he was gonna text me when he woke up at 12pm, but he never did. i woke up at 6pm, and texted him... but he NEVER answered.

i dont get how he is the one that comes up with these ideas to go out, and he cant wait to see me out of uniform, etc... but he cant take a minute to text me??? all day??

its confusing.

i used to text him on his days off first, but i stopped doing that. ive been waiting for him to text me. so when he does text me, its usually just whats up, hows it going, etc... thats it. after a while, the texting convo just dies. when we are together, nobody can tear us apart.

its really hurtful to me that he cant just tell me that he couldnt go out last night... when we sorta had the plans!!! =(

 

He is married.

 

You two are not boyfriend and girlfriend :rolleyes: Boyfriend and girlfriend do more than sit in a parked car and make out :laugh: He is using you for a little summin summin. He sees you are more than eager to get with him.

 

Do your parents know he is married??????

  • Author
Posted

haha wow thanks a lot everyone.. and i was not planning on having sex with him!! im not like every other girl, and i dont go to work and use it as a pick up joint. i was just serious about this one dude in the past 2 years.. over the past few months, we started getting serious. thats all. i had no intentions for work to turn into this, and i had no idea i would be in this situation. And idk yet if all he is after is sex... i know a lot of guys just say things, but he's told me many times im really nice, and different.(from everybody else) im a good girl, and i dont go out with my friends after work, or get wasted or anything... unlike most of the other coworkers. he knows i am a virgin, its obvious.. sooo... if that were the case, i think he woulda gave up on me by now, if he only wanted sex. thats just my opinion.. whatever.

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