Waitress Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 There's this guy who is a good friend. He has seemed really into me. There is a definite connection and we're extremely close. To me, I never really thought it would be more than friends, until recently. Recently, I started having those feelings back to him. Right around the same time he started dating someone. Casual but he does really like her. Things between him and I have grown. The other day we were together and he seemed very, very into me. And I was receptive. But then he went out with this girl again. I find it really hard to believe that he would intentionally want to play with my feelings. But it's gotten me wondering. I've tried saying something about feeling odd about things but he insists we're fine. Whenever I try and pull back he seems shook up. I don't know what to do. Help!
radwimps Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 one hypothesis is, he's dating that girl just to make you jealous. it's a good strategy to get you interested, but somewhat immoral. But then again of he goes that far to get you, then he REALLY likes you.
Author Waitress Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 I think it's possible Radwimps but I think he's more moral than that. I think he does like her but is still in early stages with her. The thing is, if it is a game to get me more interested it's not a great strategy. I don't have time for the drama. I think he would know that about me, too.
A O Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 The other day we were together and he seemed very, very into me. And I was receptive. But then he went out with this girl again. If you guys made out and what not, then yeah, he may well be into you, otherwise, chances are, I'm afraid, that you're just company in between lean times (girlfriends). I don't know what to do. Speak up!! If you like him (as more than just a friend) then show him or tell him....get into the habit of "communicating" what you want. .
JustLooking123 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Could it be possible that you're seeing what you want to see in his behavior towards you? I know from personal experience that it can be easy to do this if you like someone, and if they are friendly towards you.
jerseyboy Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Dont know your interaction. but it sounds as if he did like you. Maybe even still does. But your initial interaction seems awkward. Did you express a lack of interest in him at the beginning? You say you just started to return those feelings about the time he started showing interest with someone else. What were they before? What did he think they were. The problem you have now I imagine is that regardless of how he may feel about you, even if they are stronger, shes likely coming on stronger, and hes already begun transferring his emotions to her. At best, unless it ends quickly, hell be conflicted now. Truthfully, Id be surprised if she didn't win this scenario, assuming she wasn't playing similar games or showing genuine lack of interest. If anything ti sounds form your own interaction that any crumb she throws him will be gratefully accepted by him after his time with you. Im not suggesting you were playing games. Perhaps you genuinely had no interest till recently. But I read these forums , and what is considered norm dating behavior by women, and all of it strikes me as such a turn off. Its not all about you guys. Sounds like this guy has been trying, hoping something would develop. You took your time justifiably or not. And now some girl is making him feel special and desirable, after however long starving for the same form you. She wins. Because even if you start upping the tempo now, its not the same. No guy wants to be the considered choice unless hes desperate. He doesn't want to grow on you. He wants to be with someone who feels that spark from the get go
Author Waitress Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 Thank you so much guys for the great responses!! I have to say that I think any of your responses are possibilities in this situation. Just goes to show, huh. I'm thinking the best approach is to work on myself, get my focus back onto myself. All of this has thrown me for a loop a bit. Keep going round and round in my head about what the truth is in this situation. Am exhausted! Thanks again.
sweet_peach115 Posted December 10, 2009 Posted December 10, 2009 Did he come right out and tell you he was seeing this girl or did you hear it from a friend?
Author Waitress Posted December 10, 2009 Author Posted December 10, 2009 Did he come right out and tell you he was seeing this girl or did you hear it from a friend? Thanks for the response sweet peach. I moved on already. No time for games.
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