kis Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 My husband almost always refuses to give me any foreplay when we have sex. I always try to get him to wait just a little. But l get less than a minute and he is going at it. He has the idea that I should be ready for him and seams to think it is insulting if he has to get me ready. Is this common?
NowhereToHide Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Common? Not sure. Acceptable, absolutely not. You need to sit your H down (NOT when it is time to have sex) and explain to him exactly what you need. Tell him that part of sex is pleasing EACH OTHER. It's not an act where every man is out for himself.
Boundary Problem Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Is this common? Probably yes. A lot of wives just want it over with quickly. Sounds like you enjoy the act for itself. Sexual compatibility is very important. Sounds like he just needs to take his time a bit more. Maybe ask him why he is rushing. Maybe he has an issue you don't know about.
Ross PK Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Sounds like you're getting a raw deal here. Tell him no sex unless he gives you some decent fourplay first. If he feels insulted just tell him that women need to get warmed up first (which is true). I'm sure he'll be going down on you in no time.
TheLoneSock Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 My husband almost always refuses to give me any foreplay when we have sex. I always try to get him to wait just a little. But l get less than a minute and he is going at it. He has the idea that I should be ready for him and seams to think it is insulting if he has to get me ready. Is this common? It is common for me, atleast right now. My current situation involves a girl that doesn't like much foreplay. A few minutes of kissing and she's wet enough for me to get to work, and she prefers it that way. In fact I haven't met many girls that need/want that much foreplay beforehand, very rarely. I'm thinking it's the age group I'm in, I'm mostly having sex with girls that are 19-24 years old.
CarrieT Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 In fact I haven't met many girls that need/want that much foreplay beforehand, very rarely. I'm thinking it's the age group I'm in, I'm mostly having sex with girls that are 19-24 years old. I would put even money down that these girls actually *do* want and need foreplay, but simply don't know how to ask for it. In the 19 to 24 age group, they are too inexperienced to be able to express their desires and haven't learned enough yet to insist on it. And I believe I am speaking from experience.
TheLoneSock Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I would put even money down that these girls actually *do* want and need foreplay, but simply don't know how to ask for it. In the 19 to 24 age group, they are too inexperienced to be able to express their desires and haven't learned enough yet to insist on it. And I believe I am speaking from experience. Not really, one of them specifically said to me "I get annoyed with foreplay, like you turn me on enough when we're kissing, I'd rather just do it and not waste time." I can live with that. And for the record, I normally do go with foreplay, until something like this let's me know otherwise.
Stung Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I would put even money down that these girls actually *do* want and need foreplay, but simply don't know how to ask for it. In the 19 to 24 age group, they are too inexperienced to be able to express their desires and haven't learned enough yet to insist on it. And I believe I am speaking from experience. I'm with CarrieT on this one.
Stung Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Not really, one of them specifically said to me "I get annoyed with foreplay, like you turn me on enough when we're kissing, I'd rather just do it and not waste time." I can live with that. And for the record, I normally do go with foreplay, until something like this let's me know otherwise. It's certainly possible that she's an outlier who just is wired differently. It is also possible that she is not very comfortable with her body and her sexuality and is trying to just speed things along. At the very least, it makes me wonder. In any case, I wouldn't take it as indicative of the sexual/biological needs of an entire age group.
Stung Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 My husband almost always refuses to give me any foreplay when we have sex. I always try to get him to wait just a little. But l get less than a minute and he is going at it. He has the idea that I should be ready for him and seams to think it is insulting if he has to get me ready. Is this common? I am sorry your husband takes your natural sexual needs as an insult. I don't believe that this is common among men who are well-educated sexually, perhaps your husband needs a little help with this, although I suspect he won't take too kindly to that suggestion either. Perhaps you can try buying him a book about female sexuality.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 My husband almost always refuses to give me any foreplay when we have sex. I always try to get him to wait just a little. But l get less than a minute and he is going at it. He has the idea that I should be ready for him and seams to think it is insulting if he has to get me ready. Is this common? Hmmm, i normally do lots of foreplay. I only done a few things right away if I didn't care much.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Not really, one of them specifically said to me "I get annoyed with foreplay, like you turn me on enough when we're kissing, I'd rather just do it and not waste time." I can live with that. And for the record, I normally do go with foreplay, until something like this let's me know otherwise. Hes right. There are girls like that. Seems like 1 in ten , but thats just observation. Its always the ones who climax really easily from intercourse.
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