To Move Out or Not To

[nandoz]

Glad to find this site……..I needed to vent, please bear with me and thanks for your advice.

 

My boyfriend (in his late 30s) and I (in my late 20s) have been together for 3 years, and lived together for 2. He is busy, we have different work schedules, he works nights and I work days. He is generally nice to be with and live with….he ‘s clean and tidy, used to cook but not anymore or if he does, he cooks little for himself. On the other hand, when I arrive home in the evening, I go straight to the kitchen to make sure dinner is ready in that 1 hour just before he leaves for work. Then…I can sit down and rest from a long work day. He is always grumpy and communication between us has gone downhill. I feel like am walking on eggshells (careful not to say something to annoy him) but am never successful, it is like every word that comes out of my mouth is wrong or bad and he gives me a very negative feedback to stop me from talking to him when I am around him and mostly we remain quiet during the short little time we have together. He usually will be on his laptop and watching CNN on the TV at the same time. Oh and I think his cell phone is the busiest in this world, sometimes I wish he could talk to me the way he talks to the people that he calls or calls him. I cant believe am feeling affection starved this much at my age! Anyway, I am the one who moved into his house and my work place is 1 and a half hours away. So I spend 3 hours to and from work everyday. I use public transportation, I do not drive and I won’t in the next few years. The only reason I persevered with the long journey to work is because I love him and I loved living with him but now, I am thinking more and more about moving out (not breaking up with him) closer to work because I don’t feel that my love is strong enough to withstand the stress of my long travel to work. 3 months ago when I told him that I was thinking of moving out, he said that he would have to break-up with me….I backed out! But now, I am thinking of moving out even if there is a possibility of breaking up with him. I e-mailed (because he was talking on his cell most of the time) him about moving out and his reply was “THANK YOU, HIGHLY APPRECIATED” (as is, in caps). He has not talked to me since then (Monday). He doesn’t stop by in the kitchen to have dinner; he goes to work like that, he leaves immediately I get home. He only says “hello” if we happen to meet on the stairs…no eye contact, nothing. When I told him that I wanted to talk to him last night, he simply said he was running late for work. When he arrived from work in the morning (I was about to leave for work) he said he was tired and headed straight to bed. Now, any advice, about anything, I will appreciate it. Also wish me luck, am going to get my H1N1 flu vaccine today…yay!

[MissGoLightly]

Yes, you should move out, closer to work. And yes, you should break up with him.