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Reveal all to the BS or not?

moaningmyrtle

By moaningmyrtle
in The Other Man / Woman

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Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted (edited)

Oh and, any OW who "goes after" the BW?..watch how fast MM turns you into a psycho-stalking maniac.

 

He'll have no problem convincing his wife that you were the aggressor. None at all, the two of them will probably do everything they can to keep you away from their family.

 

Count on it.

 

The OW sent me copies of their emails and I had to stop my husband from hunting her down and strangling her. He now HATES her with a passion, much more than I do, she's really insignificant to me, but to ask him she's a complete whack-job, and he's right. Anyone who does something like that is a a kook who is just desperate. All she did was drive us closer together against her.

 

We've reconciled and have never been happier. Maybe I should send her a thank you note?

Edited by Impudent Oyster
howcouldInotknow Established Member

howcouldInotknow

Posted
Posted (edited)
Oh and, any OW who "goes after" the BW?..watch how fast MM turns you into a psycho-stalking maniac.

 

He'll have no problem convincing his wife that you were the aggressor. None at all, the two of them will probably do everything they can to keep you away from their family.

 

Count on it.

 

The OW sent me copies of their emails and I had to stop my husband from hunting her down and strangling her. He now HATES her with a passion, much more than I do, she's really insignificant to me, but to ask him she's a complete whack-job, and he's right. Anyone who does something like that is a a kook who is just desperate. All she did was drive us closer together against her.

 

We've reconciled and have never been happier. Maybe I should send her a thank you note?

 

 

Your husband didn't hate her when he had sex with her but he hates her when she decided to put him out there? First of all he sounds like he threw her under the bus. Even if you want to stay and work on your M don't make things appear as what they are not. In your case in the future I think the OW will be sending you a thank you note.

 

It just really annoys me when women say, "well my husband says the OW is a complete nut". If she was that much of a nut he would not have pursued her. Just like in the case of OW I think it is silly to listen to what MM says about his wife because you don't know her.

 

I know so many wives who think they have won when they get their husbands back after he cheats. You may think you've won but in the long run you don't. You are the one that has to worry about him cheating again not the OW. So at the end of the day the OW may hurt for a little while but the fallout after is all yours. So gloating and saying maybe I should send her a thank you note. Be careful that it doesn't end up the other way around.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
howcouldInotknow Established Member

howcouldInotknow

Posted
Posted
so what you are saying is that it is perfectly acceptable to help yourself to someone elses husband?

 

sure, the H bears the main reponsibility to his wife, but is this what you are saying?

 

 

 

 

and its because of women like you that he is able to cheat.:o

 

 

First of all what BS do not understand if your husband or wife were so great to begin with even if the OM/OW hit on your husband. YOUR spouse accepted the invitation. I can also guarantee that most single women do not persue married men. SO the person that the BS would have the biggest issue with is their spouse. But they choose to focus on the OW/OM so they do not feel like a fool taking their cheating spouse back. When you should be worrying about working on your marriage and making sure your spouse doesn't not cheat again. Not harrassing the other woman about how she gained access to your husbands penis. There is a much bigger issue in your marriage than the OW and in my opinion thats why threads from the BS asking the OW/OM anything are pointless. Answers will never satisfy you because you need to get answers from your spouse not the other woman. Imagine it this way the OW can be any woman in the world it doesn't matter you and your spouse would still have the same issue.

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted
Your husband didn't hate her when he had sex with her but he hates her when she decided to put him out there? First of all he sounds like he threw her under the bus. Even if you want to stay and work on your M don't make things appear as what they are not. In your case in the future I think the OW will be sending you a thank you note.

 

It just really annoys me when women say, "well my husband says the OW is a complete nut". If she was that much of a nut he would not have pursued her. Just like in the case of OW I think it is silly to listen to what MM says about his wife because you don't know her.

 

I know so many wives who think they have won when they get their husbands back after he cheats. You may think you've won but in the long run you don't. You are the one that has to worry about him cheating again not the OW. So at the end of the day the OW may hurt for a little while but the fallout after is all yours. So gloating and saying maybe I should send her a thank you note. Be careful that it doesn't end up the other way around.

 

Funny thing.. the MMs say that their W are frigid.. the W say 'no.. we have sex often' :laugh:

 

When he's back against the wall.. and risk losing his comfortable life.. then the OW is a whacko... :laugh:

 

Realllly... :rolleyes:

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted
First of all what BS do not understand if your husband or wife were so great to begin with even if the OM/OW hit on your husband. YOUR spouse accepted the invitation. I can also guarantee that most single women do not persue married men. SO the person that the BS would have the biggest issue with is their spouse. But they choose to focus on the OW/OM so they do not feel like a fool taking their cheating spouse back. When you should be worrying about working on your marriage and making sure your spouse doesn't not cheat again. Not harrassing the other woman about how she gained access to your husbands penis. There is a much bigger issue in your marriage than the OW and in my opinion thats why threads from the BS asking the OW/OM anything are pointless. Answers will never satisfy you because you need to get answers from your spouse not the other woman. Imagine it this way the OW can be any woman in the world it doesn't matter you and your spouse would still have the same issue.

 

OMG... :bunny: this is soooo well said..

 

and I agree the OW can be someone really close to the W and her not knowing anything about it.. (neighbour, best friend, etc.) :o

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

Posted
Posted
WOW.. it's not like we 'started' anything.. like I said before.. we didn't put a gun to his head..

 

He came to the OW.. not the other way around, in most cases.

 

If she causes no problems.. she'll have no problems... but if she did.. I would destroy what's left in her M... :mad:

 

so basically, YOU are allowed to f##k with other peoples lives, but when someone does it BACK to you...well geez, that just isn't right??

 

You already did the worst you can do. you should be happy with that.

 

you attitude is that of someone that would slap someone in the face, but would get offended if they slapped you back. doesn't surprise me.

eeyore1981 Established Member

eeyore1981

Posted
Posted
WOW.. it's not like we 'started' anything.. like I said before.. we didn't put a gun to his head..

 

He came to the OW.. not the other way around, in most cases.

 

If she causes no problems.. she'll have no problems... but if she did.. I would destroy what's left in her M... :mad:

 

I think it is more like 50/50 on who came to who. When you start screwing some woman's husband, yeah, he is causing her problems, and so are you. Screwing some other woman's husband, you are already contributing to destroying her marriage.

Every time you knowingly trespass into someone's marriage, you are doing wrong, and it is trespass, not invitation, because if it was all so right and swell, then what is the big deal of letting the wife know what you are up to with her husband? Oh, yeah, I know, protecting your MM while he does something wrong, well, guess what, if you are participating in someone doing something wrong, and covering up for someone doing something wrong, that is also wrong.

But that's cool, pretend like you are all pure as the driven snow. It's all the same to me. I actually feel sorry for most of you. I've seen OW state as a defense, "If not me, it would have been someone else." and I agree, this is very true. Most, if not all of you, are so interchangeable it is unreal. You know, not special. And something else I have learned from real life and also in here, MM and MW are so much easier to score than someone who is single. I've had so many MM hit on me it's actually funny. It's not even a challenge.

eeyore1981 Established Member

eeyore1981

Posted
Posted
so basically, YOU are allowed to f##k with other peoples lives, but when someone does it BACK to you...well geez, that just isn't right??

 

You already did the worst you can do. you should be happy with that.

 

you attitude is that of someone that would slap someone in the face, but would get offended if they slapped you back. doesn't surprise me.

 

Doesn't surprise me, either. I guess when you are someone who can only establish and maintain a relationship with someone who has to sneak around and be all secretive and everything, and kid yourself you are his one and only when you are well aware there is someone else he is married to and making excuse after excuse to stay with, you have to take what you can get where you can get it.

Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted
Your husband didn't hate her when he had sex with her but he hates her when she decided to put him out there? First of all he sounds like he threw her under the bus. Even if you want to stay and work on your M don't make things appear as what they are not. In your case in the future I think the OW will be sending you a thank you note.

 

It just really annoys me when women say, "well my husband says the OW is a complete nut". If she was that much of a nut he would not have pursued her. Just like in the case of OW I think it is silly to listen to what MM says about his wife because you don't know her.

 

I know so many wives who think they have won when they get their husbands back after he cheats. You may think you've won but in the long run you don't. You are the one that has to worry about him cheating again not the OW. So at the end of the day the OW may hurt for a little while but the fallout after is all yours. So gloating and saying maybe I should send her a thank you note. Be careful that it doesn't end up the other way around.

 

 

You're making an awful lot of assumptions.

 

He didn't "pursue her", I know that for a fact, I introduced them, she emailed him first pulling her poor little divorced mom routine asking for a favor that she needed help from a man putting up a basketball net for her son. FACT.

 

Secondly, it only went on for a little over a month and I don't know for sure if they even had sex, not that it matters to me, he lied about talking to her and emailing her behind my back, but he "broke_up" with her and told her that he couldn't have a relationship with her. FACT (I saw that email too)

 

Third, the day after he told her to find someone else, she sent me the emails. It was HER who threw HIM under the bus. I would have never known about their little fling or whatever you want to call it if she hadn't outed him

 

Finally, I DID know her. I knew her for 2 years before I introduced her to my H and I knew she was nutty. She was an acquantance with a big mouth going through a bad divorce and I listened to all her sob stories. I remember her telling me she was going into the city to meet an old boyfriend from highschool who was visiting from another country where he lives and she was planning on spending the night at his hotel. He was married (but not happily of course) and she knew it and didn't care, so yeah, I had a pretty good idea that she was a sl*t.

 

Finally, my H and I have been married for a long, long, lONG time, 99% of that time very, very happily and this was the first time he had ever given me reason to mistrust him. I'm not going to toss an otherwise great long marriage over one stupid mistake, but of course, feel free to do as you wish when it's your marriage and your children's parent.

 

No one knows who will cheat on them. No guarantees I don't think I won anything, but I'm sure had I divorced I would have lost an awful lot.

 

BTW, it's been 5 years since it happened and I've never regretted my decision, I'm sure it was the right one.

Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted
When you should be worrying about working on your marriage and making sure your spouse doesn't not cheat again.

 

Sorry, I just can't be bothered worrying about it. I've got way better things to do with my time. :p

Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted

LOL that a MM telling an OW to go and find an available man because he doesn't want a relationship with her is "throwing her under the bus". :lmao:

theflagal New Member

theflagal

Posted
Posted

hasn't there been enough pain for everybody involved. Need more? In my 1st M my Ex cheated. OW called me because he was done using her so she wanted to hurt me. I told her she could have him. Funny thing is he went on to date 100's of others after our divorce. Don't women get it. These guys don't want to end their marriage they can cheat and stay married if the wife forgives them. There are thousands of lonely women thinking they will get the MM. Sure, then once you get him try to keep him from behaving that way with you. Good luck.

Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted
First of all what BS do not understand Answers will never satisfy you because you need to get answers from your spouse not the other woman.

 

You're right about that. I wouldn't give the OW the time of day, and I certainly wouldn't believe a single word she said, not that I'd ask her. :D

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted
I think it is more like 50/50 on who came to who. When you start screwing some woman's husband, yeah, he is causing her problems, and so are you. Screwing some other woman's husband, you are already contributing to destroying her marriage.

Every time you knowingly trespass into someone's marriage, you are doing wrong, and it is trespass, not invitation, because if it was all so right and swell, then what is the big deal of letting the wife know what you are up to with her husband? Oh, yeah, I know, protecting your MM while he does something wrong, well, guess what, if you are participating in someone doing something wrong, and covering up for someone doing something wrong, that is also wrong.

But that's cool, pretend like you are all pure as the driven snow. It's all the same to me. I actually feel sorry for most of you. I've seen OW state as a defense, "If not me, it would have been someone else." and I agree, this is very true. Most, if not all of you, are so interchangeable it is unreal. You know, not special. And something else I have learned from real life and also in here, MM and MW are so much easier to score than someone who is single. I've had so many MM hit on me it's actually funny. It's not even a challenge.

 

Sorry but it was 'invitation' .. I never had to twist any MMs' arms.. they came to me.. they pursue me.. not the other way.. (except for one time and it was a test)...

 

I could say that if the W was so special and so loved.. he wouldn't be out there scre*ing someone else ... :o

howcouldInotknow Established Member

howcouldInotknow

Posted
Posted

Most, if not all of you, are so interchangeable it is unreal. You know, not special

 

In many cases this is true. But in most of the cases BOTH parties usually know its completely sexual. In cases where it is not only a PA but an EA the affair partner becomes less interchangeable. And your statement further proves why threads like this are pointless. If the OW is so unimportant you have even less reason to ask her her anything? If not her then someone else further magnifies the problem in your marriage if you ask me. As for it beign 50/50 check your statistics again. Last time I checked in affairs 90% of the time it is the married person who pursues the affair.

 

Also the Tiger Woods situation is somewhat different that most other situations. Elin Woods knew her husband was a cheater and the lifestyle he has given her she will not leave. He is a public figure and more likely to be pursued by other women than your average 9-5 man. Money and fame makes everyone more attractive. Most of the women married to professional athletes and actors or whatever else know their husbands cheat. Lets be serious.

Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted
Sorry but it was 'invitation' .. I never had to twist any MMs' arms.. they came to me.. they pursue me.. not the other way.. (except for one time and it was a test)...

 

 

 

Oh please, you act like you're the only woman on the planet who gets hit on by married men. It happens to most of us ALL THE TIME.

 

The difference between you and us is, we know how to say NO.

 

Serious question, it really doesn't bother you to sleep with men who go home and sleep with their wives? That totally skeeves me out. I don't know how you do it.

 

Oh and, please don't make me laugh by telling me they don't sleep with their wives. No one is that dumb.

Impudent Oyster Established Member

Impudent Oyster

Posted
Posted

Also the Tiger Woods situation is somewhat different that most other situations. Elin Woods knew her husband was a cheater and the lifestyle he has given her she will not leave.

 

She DID? She knew he was a cheater? Are you a close personal friend of hers?

howcouldInotknow Established Member

howcouldInotknow

Posted
Posted
You're right about that. I wouldn't give the OW the time of day, and I certainly wouldn't believe a single word she said, not that I'd ask her. :D

 

 

Other things such as sitting on LS and berating OW?

White Flower Established Member

White Flower

Posted
Posted
You're right about that. I wouldn't give the OW the time of day, and I certainly wouldn't believe a single word she said, not that I'd ask her. :D

Because you fear the truth may hurt too much. It is definitely a risk.

eeyore1981 Established Member

eeyore1981

Posted
Posted
Sorry but it was 'invitation' .. I never had to twist any MMs' arms.. they came to me.. they pursue me.. not the other way.. (except for one time and it was a test)...

 

I could say that if the W was so special and so loved.. he wouldn't be out there scre*ing someone else ... :o

 

Again, if it was an invitation, you wouldn't have to hide it from his wife. Maybe you were invited into his marriage, but you are damn sure trespassing into his wife's.

 

If most of the wives weren't so special and so loved, the cheaters wouldn't be all over themselves when they got caught trying to repair the damage with whatever it takes and doing everything they can think of to keep their wife. Not their OW.

howcouldInotknow Established Member

howcouldInotknow

Posted
Posted
Oh please, you act like you're the only woman on the planet who gets hit on by married men. It happens to most of us ALL THE TIME.

 

The difference between you and us is, we know how to say NO.

 

Serious question, it really doesn't bother you to sleep with men who go home and sleep with their wives? That totally skeeves me out. I don't know how you do it.

 

Oh and, please don't make me laugh by telling me they don't sleep with their wives. No one is that dumb.

 

 

First off let me point something out to you, if you BS were "happier than ever" I doubt you would be here. You are still bothered by the fact that your spouses had affairs. Whether your friend issued the invitation or not your husband took it. So if things were great 99% of the time he would not have. Men who are completely happy and satisfied in their marriages do not cheat.

 

I agree any woman who believes a man doesn't sleep with his wife is lying to herself. But your husband sleeps with you and who promised before god to be faithful to you wants to sleep with her as well. It feels great to transfer blame to the other woman. You call her a nut and thats the end of your friendship because she pursued your husband but by accepting her come on your husband issued an invite of his own whether you want to acknowledge it or not

Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted (edited)
Oh please, you act like you're the only woman on the planet who gets hit on by married men. It happens to most of us ALL THE TIME.

 

The difference between you and us is, we know how to say NO.

 

Serious question, it really doesn't bother you to sleep with men who go home and sleep with their wives? That totally skeeves me out. I don't know how you do it.

 

Oh and, please don't make me laugh by telling me they don't sleep with their wives. No one is that dumb.

 

 

I know they sleep with their W.. and I really don't care.. It doesn't take anything from me.. I know they are married.. but I also know that most do NOT have sex as much as they need or want.. it's more like 2-3 times a month... I know.. btdt.. :o

 

I never said I was the only woman on the planet who gets hit by MMs... gosh I know I'm not ...

 

There is a thrill to be with a MM... the passion is amazing.. and very addictive.. I will probably find it extremely (maybe impossible) to be with one man for a long period of time.. I would probably find it boring after the passion is gone..

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Lizzie60 Established Member

Lizzie60

Posted
Posted
Again, if it was an invitation, you wouldn't have to hide it from his wife. Maybe you were invited into his marriage, but you are damn sure trespassing into his wife's.

 

If most of the wives weren't so special and so loved, the cheaters wouldn't be all over themselves when they got caught trying to repair the damage with whatever it takes and doing everything they can think of to keep their wife. Not their OW.

 

Correction.. they are piss*d because they risk losing their financial and comfortable life.. and most of all .. they don't want to be weekend's dads... most don't give a hoot about the W.. he would gladly replace her with the OW if he could keep everything else.. :o

eeyore1981 Established Member

eeyore1981

Posted
Posted
I know they sleep with their W.. and I really don't care.. It doesn't take anything from me.. I know they are married.. but I also know that most do NOT have sex as much as they need or want.. it's more like 2-3 times a month... I know.. btdt.. :o

 

I never said I was the only woman on the planet who gets hit by MMs... gosh I know I'm not ...

 

There is a thrill to be with a MM... the passion is amazing.. and very addictive.. I will probably find it extremely (maybe impossible) to be with one man for a long period of time.. I would probably find it boring after the passion is gone..

 

Next time you look at your H's wedding band.. just think that it was probably caressing someone else's body at one time. :o

 

BBM

 

Is that supposed to hurt?:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:

My H wasn't a virgin when I married him, so I guess I'll get over it.:cool:

 

I've been with the same man for almost 26 years, and the passion is far from gone. The sex is incredible, it was before he cheated, and it is now. There is also plenty of it. Maybe you are doing something wrong? :lmao::lmao::lmao:

eeyore1981 Established Member

eeyore1981

Posted
Posted
Correction.. they are piss*d because they risk losing their financial and comfortable life.. and most of all .. they don't want to be weekend's dads... most don't give a hoot about the W.. he would gladly replace her with the OW if he could keep everything else.. :o

 

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. The divorce rate for couples with children is about 40%, vs. the divorce rate for adultery, which is under 20%.

 

So, the only people in crappy marriages worried about losing their finances, comfortable life, and 100% access to their children are cheaters, the rest of them don't care. Sure thing.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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