ManDown25 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 So I have been in a relationship for 7 years with my Girlfriend. The most amazing sweet girl you could meet. I have been out of town for a year now. And I am about to return in a month. We were love at first sight. Neither of us have dated anyone else and our love has been super strong. We just saw each other 3 weeks ago and the love was so explosive at its peak. We are beginning to get serious about the commitment of marriage and such. She just started a new job and has been very worried about the responsibilities it asks. So she started confiding in a fellow employee. Which sparked a bit of jealousy and confusion. But we dont argue or fight really...Were honest with each other about everything. So we had discussed just taking a break from everything and taking some us time to figure it all out because she is really attracted to this guy on a crush level. She wanted to be honest with me and tell me. So I have been giving her the space she has asked. But I get paranoid because I know she is constantly texting him. She is trying not to bring her feelings for our love into this and is distant. So after a few days of not calling she texts me and calls. I always answer her and talk or text back but keep it short. However I am wondering if this is the right approach considering she has a crush on a guy she is keeping contact with. I have 4 weeks before I am back in town. What advice can anyone give? Just to leave her be and not worry about the guy, she will come back missing me when I show up? Its Seven years I just cant see her letting go when I am moving back in a month. Not when our relationship has been on the fast track to passion. What should I do? Wait for her to call and text me? Considering she is keeping close contact with the guy at work. Or will that lose her and drive her away? Any help would be great. Thanks
TheLoneSock Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 You can bet she's been banging this dude. Take the time to get over that part before you return. Then when you do get back, take it as it comes and keep your expectations low. If she throws away the past 7 years, or has already, be prepared for that. Regardless though, she needs to be %100 honest, and save any heavy talking the two of you might have planned for in person, none of that texting or over the phone discussion.
Fluffsticle Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 I think you need to giver her the space she needs. She has probably missed having you around and enjoyed having a male to just chat to about things. If you don't respect her decision for space you will drive her away. Give her time, be strong. She will miss you. Although she is not calling or texing much, this doesn't mean she has forgotten you. If you think she's worth it, then stick the pace I say, and give her what she needs. Good luck
traderho Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 It sounds like she wanted to break up to go out with this guy. I wholeheartily agree with the other poster that she is banging him. So after she was honest with you and basically told you she is not interested in you anymore are you trying to win her back from the new guy? Why would you want her back?
billy356 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Yeah, this one sucks. 7 year relationship, obviously you are still into her, likely still in love with her...and she is showing all the signs of bailing on you. 2 big concerns, one of which obviously is the other guy. Even if she isnt "banging" him as a previous poster so eloquently put it, she is still having a version of an emotional affair with him and sometimes this can hurt even more. You say "we decided to take a break" but I am fairly certain it was her idea. As we often say, "taking a break is the first step in a break up". Secondly neither of you have dated anyone else. I assume you are in you mid twenties. Unfortunately this is fairly typical behavior for this "time of life", someone wonders if the grass is greener or realizes they are still young and wants to experience other partners, etc...the other person gets heartbroken. I doubt you are likely to do this based on what you wrote but you should officially end this relationship for a period of time. And I mean at least a year. After that time you can revisit, reconnect and then decide what to do. But you are headed for a world of pain my friend, better you control how it is administered then to have someone else decide for you. Realize that there is a better girl out there, and probably a better girl than THAT girl too! Only you know your relationship, you are the only one who knows HER as well. Follow your heart but take a day, a full day, to really do some soul searching and figure out WHY you want to do what you want to do. all the best...
almostpassedit Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) she is banging the other guy and your a fall-back. your relationship is over for now. you are like that safety cushion, the person she can rely on but yeah, your girl is banging that other guy. odd, she didn't even have the courage to tell you the true, thats because she wants you to still be around incase her relationship fails. ps, she is banging the other guy. do you want to know for sure if she is banging the other guy? ask yourself this question: "During the last 12 months", how often had you had sex with her? If you can count the amount of times you've had sex with her, then YES, she is definately banging the other guy question 2: when you were together and you were in the country, did she have sex with you often? Does she like having sex often? if the answer is YES and currently there is no SEX or you can count the amount of times you've had sex then , she is banging the other guy. and if you haven't come home yet and when you do come home, she doesn't come immediately to see you like the first day, first week, first couple of days that means your no longer in her head as relationship material despite what you said.. also i am not talking about distance communication such as phone, email or text, i am talking about in your face person-to-person.... again: watch actions not words and text/email/phone does not count as action. ps: she probably is banging the other guy.... Hmmmm... Does he want to spend time with you? Is he showing you he cares? Are you on the same wavelength? I hope you're not being strung along and then get hurt. pps: she's banging the other guy Edited December 4, 2009 by almostpassedit
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