dreams13 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Ok, so I have been on these forums for not too long, but I think I just learned my lesson and honestly it only took me 10 years to realize that getting back with an x DOES NOT WORK. At least in my situation, I thought that Pat really did love me and this all meant something. That him coming back to me all these times and confessing things to me for a reason, actually meant nothing! What a waste of my time and heart. I would have done anything for him, then and now and his response to me was, don't look too much into anything. Why do you always have to look for answers and act like us talking is some sign from god that we are suppose to be together. Are you kidding me. Not only did I invite him over to my house, but back into my heart and that is the response I got? So 10 years later, off and on and that is the 30 year old's repsonse to me after all these years. It breaks my heart that I let him back in again to crap all over me and for what? I think the only reason he wanted to talk again was for his selfish self and I wanted to believe he was a better man then this and he proved to me he isnt. I am finally done, after all these years, I can finally close the door in this man who has ripped my heart out over and over again and it is my own fault. You should only know the things he has told me, then turned around and told me that I am all about him and he acts like I am pinning over him, when in reality he is the one that contacts me all the times he does and he travels to my house. Oh and forget ever telling anyone he talks to me, he said he doesnt want to answer 30 questions about us and it is non of anyones business knowing he comes over my house. I feel like I am a secret I told him, and he said well yea I guess if you look at it that way, but I'd rather you be a secret then have my WHOLE family know and then get the 50 questions about are we getting back together. How degrading and low do I have to go with this man before I realized he is a piece of ****.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Some couples get back together and are stronger for it, I have friends who are. Not all exes are ***holes.
hopesndreams Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 So sorry Dreams. He is a real piece of work.
LisaUk Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Have you read the book He's Scared, She's Scared by Stephen Carter? Does he reel you back in, then back off when you get to commitment?
Author dreams13 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 I dated Pat for 2 years when we were in college. I have known him for 10 years now. The thing is Pat has never really left me alone for all of the 10 years. For 4 years even in college, everytime he broke up with a girl or needed attention, there he was calling me, or IMing me. I probably should of never let in back in my life even at that point. He has done so much crap to me over the past years (probably my fault again).We have slept together off and on for the past 10 years and at this point I am use to him getting up and leaving right after. It's just how it has been for years..and unfortnatley now him leaving and showing no emotion is no big deal to me anymore. I am NUMB. I even moved to Florida for 4 years and he still was there, contacting me and emailing me. I have been through a lot in the past 6 years. With loosing my mother to pancreatic cancer at the age of 57, loosing my grandmother to heart failure, my father getting re-married, and moving my life back up north. I am spent. I have done all of this on my own and am not the 19 year old girl that he dated. I have gone through so much and I am not even the same person I was. I have done this all on my own, without any help from anyone. I am offically spent. As for him. He is 30 years old, he lives at home, owns 3 cars, an RV and a boat and basically spends all his money on gaming equipment and drugs. He gets easily angry at me when I ask him about moving out of his house. He says he can not afford it, the man makes at least 60,000.00 a year, are you kidding me. Although this past year was very emotional with him. We thought I could have been pregnant (I wasn't). He was flipping out telling me this is going to ruin his life, and he cant let anyone know. That was the first blow, the second was him telling me that why do I analyze us so much, that us talking is not a sign from god, it is what it is. Although he always comes crawling back, telling me he wants to be 'friends' and then leaves everytime after he gets what he wants. I am stupid I know. I am just tired...I want him gone for good. He does nothing for me, but make me feel unattractive and unworthy of a real relationship or love. I know you are going to ask me why I have put up with this for years....and my answer is I thought I loved him...whole heartly...
name witheld Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Its funny, you talk about a man but I'm reading about a child. Leave him alone to his toys, games and drugs. He will see how empty his life is without someone special like you in it. Course by then you will have somebody 'nearer your own age' .
Author dreams13 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 You know what is sad, after reading back what I wrote today, I would tell this person to tell him to **** off. Honestly I don't know why I have put up with his crap for so long. I guess when he comes back, reels me in and then spits me out the moment I get to close to him or too close for his comfort. He really isn't a man, he is a child. He never grew up and by any means, may never. I do not look at him and think oh wow you would make a great husband or great father, he smoke pot regulary and drinks like a fish when given the opportunity. He did mention to me that college was the best time in his life and I am thinking this is why he still talks to me. He said he will never forget those times, and the times we had. Its kind of like the popular guy in high school, who was the qb on the football team and dated the head cheerleader and 20 years later is fat, ugly and has no job, but basically those were that guys GLORY days, that is how Pat is. He can't move on, and chooses not to move on. I can not be part of his **** anymore. i refuse. Do you think I have heard from him since he left my house sunday night. NO. Once again, all I really know of him is the back of his head. How sad to think he is going to live his life utilmatley alone if he doesnt wake up.
Author dreams13 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 side note: i think i am a damn good woman. I would love him with all I have and I would have done anything for him. karma is a bitch.
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