ThatAngelGirl Posted December 16, 2003 Posted December 16, 2003 Hi, I was with my ex for 14 years. We have five children together. A couple months ago, out of he blue, he decides he's not happy and leaves. Well, I can see how he wouldn't be happy because I'd been suffering from severe depression for years and never sought help. I just thought that was how I was. I'm a very good mother and I've always done the best I could but he says I'm too dependent, which I suppose is true. I don't drive and since I've mainly been home with the kids, I haven't had a full time job in years. When he left I completely broke down. I had no choice but to seek professional help. I've since learned just how depressed I was. My therapist also says she saw the early signs of agoraphobia in me. For years I haven't cared to go anywhere and I've pretty much shut myself off from everyone. I'm doing the best I can to get my life together for my children and myself. I want to be independent. I'm on medication and I honestly haven't felt this good in years. The therapy is doing wonders. I'm becoming my old self again. Finally! I was so angry at him for just leaving us, but now I realize if he wouldn't have left I probably wouldn't have sought help. He and I haven't really talked much over the past two months but today, he showed up wanting to look in the garage for some spray paint. Afterwards he walked in the house with me to see our youngest sons. After playing with them a while he asked how I was doing. I told him I was okay, I told him about my therapist and how much better I feel. He told me I look better and sound better and he can definitely tell there's a difference in me. I was talking about how difficult the therapy can be and I shed a few tears. He immediately held me while I cried and he cried too. He told me how glad he was that I was getting help and that if I needed anything from him to just let him know. He said he still loves me and probably always will, that you can't be with someone as long as we've been together and not feel anything. Then he said he knew it was hard. He told me so many times he'd thought about just coming home and begging me to let him back. I didn't say anything because I'm afraid if he does come back he'll only hurt me again. Before he left, he told me he'd went out with someone a few times and was still seeing her casually. I didn't pry, because honestly, if we're not going to be together I know he has to be happy. I'm not going to lie, it really bothers me that he's seeing someone else so soon. My question is, should I even bother trying to get him back? And if so, how do I go about it? Our problems were at least partially my fault and I'm getting better every day. I know I can live without him but I do love him so much. And of course, we have a family together. I just don't know where to go from here.
Arabess Posted December 16, 2003 Posted December 16, 2003 Congratulations for such wonderful progress for the problems you were having! As far as your ex, why don't you get a babysitter for the kids, call him up and the two of you go out to dinner?? A nice quiet dinner where you can talk and see how you both feel about each other. After you've settled that one....one way or the other....then it will give you a better idea on how to proceed. Arabess
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