maslow23 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Hi, I have been reading lots of posts and decided to send one out for suggestions. My wife and I are currently seperated and papers have been filed. However, she and I both have openly stated that it is not necessarily the best solution. We have begun individual sessions with our Pastor. My issue is that it doesn't appear to be improving or going one way or the other. I have tried the desperate actions and not much if any response was received. We do have 3 children and we all get together at least twice a week. I am more than happy to share any additional information. I did have an alcohol problem, but that has been addressed via treatment and continuing medication. Although, I think she doesn't necessarily believe me. I would appreciate any thoughts on how I may want to proceed from this point forward. Should I just leave her alone? Not speak to her when the kids are over? I know I'm reaching here, but am truly at loss of direction. She has stated on occassion needing to see changes in me (pretty vague statement). Plus, how do you demonstrate those changes when you aren't in contact with one another. Thanks for your time and anything you may have to offer!!
Midnight Rider Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 If you and your wife are religious, and speaking with your pastor, that's a good thing. I think your chances of reconciling are better than average. From my observations on this site and in my own experiences, it seems marriages are doomed to failure if one or both of the parties doesn't understand well enough the true meaning and sanctity of marriage. It needs to be understood and appreciated from a godly perspective. In that, I mean mainly a Christian marriage and what it means when God forms the union of man and woman. You especially, having 3 kids, this is a gift from God. I wish you all the best, and continue to seek help from your church.
Author maslow23 Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 If you and your wife are religious, and speaking with your pastor, that's a good thing. I think your chances of reconciling are better than average. From my observations on this site and in my own experiences, it seems marriages are doomed to failure if one or both of the parties doesn't understand well enough the true meaning and sanctity of marriage. It needs to be understood and appreciated from a godly perspective. In that, I mean mainly a Christian marriage and what it means when God forms the union of man and woman. You especially, having 3 kids, this is a gift from God. I wish you all the best, and continue to seek help from your church. Thanks for the uplift. I do believe we can work it out, but there just doesn't seem to be much movement. We would probably be doomed if it weren't for the Church. However, I still am at a loss as to how to get this headed in the right path. Maybe it can't be done, but I want to try and try my best!!
Midnight Rider Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Just be a little patient, and pray. I am sure things will work out. Don't be too pushy with your wife, try to give her a little space at this time. But because you and her accept the help of the Church, you are in good hands. People don't want to see you divorce. People want to see you succeed and prosper in your marriage.
Author maslow23 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Thanks Midnight Rider. It's tough, but at least we have a foundation. I do appreciate your kind thoughts!!! Just be a little patient, and pray. I am sure things will work out. Don't be too pushy with your wife, try to give her a little space at this time. But because you and her accept the help of the Church, you are in good hands. People don't want to see you divorce. People want to see you succeed and prosper in your marriage.
2sunny Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 try AA... if you work a solid program by getting a sponsor and doing the step work - that is bound to show her great changes she says she's looking for. to not drink is one thing - to find a way to be happy while not drinking is the ideal way, you can find that through the process in AA, try it!
Author maslow23 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 Thanks 2sunny. I have all the AA materials and part of the intensive treatment involved attending meetings. Due to my schedule, it's very difficult to attend meetings. I did find online meetings and now have secured an online sponsor as well. I will give it a shot. Thanks Again. try AA... if you work a solid program by getting a sponsor and doing the step work - that is bound to show her great changes she says she's looking for. to not drink is one thing - to find a way to be happy while not drinking is the ideal way, you can find that through the process in AA, try it!
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