Dark_of_the_Moon Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Just feel the need to type things out....so...my apologies. I have been riding the roller coaster and I want off. Though I have to say honestly I do feel better more times than not. I just can't get back to positive ole me. Is it wrong I just want to be left alone for a while? I am so mixed up right now, I don't know what I want. I tell my friends that I don't want a man in my life, I don't want to meet or talk or have to deal with new people. ....but at night, watching TV or walking under the stars, I have moments of lonely. You can't keep your mind distracted every moment. I want someone... I don't want anyone.... Alone is good and safe... No its not...I don't know... Someone just hit me and knock some sense into my brain again. Why can't I control the stupid brain?
HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I feel the same... Nothing wrong with being single, you can stay single forever if you like, no-one else's business! I get lonely too but I don't want to be with anyone else (yet, maybe never, who knows), I'd rather be alone than go into a rebound relationship, yuk, how lonely would THAT be, or a relationship which doesn't feel right. So I'm lonely, but I don't want to be with anyone. I hear you Just feel the need to type things out....so...my apologies. I have been riding the roller coaster and I want off. Though I have to say honestly I do feel better more times than not. I just can't get back to positive ole me. Is it wrong I just want to be left alone for a while? I am so mixed up right now, I don't know what I want. I tell my friends that I don't want a man in my life, I don't want to meet or talk or have to deal with new people. ....but at night, watching TV or walking under the stars, I have moments of lonely. You can't keep your mind distracted every moment. I want someone... I don't want anyone.... Alone is good and safe... No its not...I don't know... Someone just hit me and knock some sense into my brain again. Why can't I control the stupid brain?
Ms. Joolie Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I definitely have gotten absorbed in my little world, and this happens to me often. Keeping to myself is how I cope with life sometimes. I just need that quiet, that peace... I just need that "do not disturb" sign. But I get lonely. I lose a lot of friends this way because I prefer a quiet night by myself then going out with girlfriends, drinking too much, flirting outrageously, sleeping late, etc.... It's just who I am. I want to cultivate myself, which is why I take lots of classes. I want to take up painting, which could really be a solo activity. lol. But it's what makes me. ...What I know I need to do though is open up my world more. I need friends around me, supportive friends and positive activities. At 27, it seems a lot of people around me just want to drink and party. It's a slower process making good friends, friends that will support you and do things you're really interested in with you. I'm working on that so that I don't end up so alone. In addition to making real friends, I want to volunteer, or get involved in a local cause I believe in. It's important to me to open up and expand my world right now..... in a way that is truly me, truly satisfying. So maybe it might help both of us to open up, stay open, and not get "lost" in our own little worlds.
Ms. Joolie Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Also wanted to say.... it's hard thinking about dating right now because I'm just getting my life on track, the way I want it. I'm at such a great time in my life, like I'm creating the life I want. So, yeah, I let go of the past and the negativity and my old coping behaviors. I let go of those old scenes. I'm just a different person now, more confident, more mature... building a new world around me with new activities and new friends. I know that continuing on this road, surrounding myself with new activities and people, I'll get back in the scene.... MY scene, one that I created. I know I'll attract the right man for me that way. And this time, I'll be ready.
Author Dark_of_the_Moon Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 You sound a lot like me. I cope the same way....alone. I have always been a quiet person and never into the party scene. I love learning new things and all that. I have made my own little world. Problem is my friends keep pushing me. They think I am not trying. Well, Im not if you mean running out there trying to grab a man. Im not going on a hunting spree. I would like to be happy again though. Its not like I sit around crying anymore, I don't and I don't sleep my days away like I did in the beginning. But, everything seem like a waste of time......just nothing interests me. I keep looking for new ideas, but nothing intrigues. I have had a very successful life on the most part, done a lot and seen a lot.....but, always alone, what is the point? I know I withdrew from too much after the suicides in my family and then I withdrew again after getting my heartache, but what do I do? I don't think I have it in me to become who I was before those events. Alone sucks but I think it is my fate.
madrugada Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I've never had a problem being alone. I'm bookish and introverted, and I can't change how I was born. It's just who I am. Then that special person comes into your life and makes you feel special for a while, and when they're gone you want that feeling back. That's when the loneliness kicks in. Like Ms. Joolie, I lose friends sometimes because I'd rather stay at home and read or write than hit the bars. But like you all, I have moments of loneliness. Sometimes the quiet gets to me. I let a lot of things go when I was so focused on my ex, things I'm trying to get back into. It's not easy right now, because I still miss her so much, but it's getting easier day by day. I like what you said, Ms Joolie, about getting busy creating the life you want for yourself, getting involved in activities that interest you. When my ex and I were together I set aside the novel I'd been working on. And to think I've wanted to write a novel since I was nine years old. Why did I let her get so far into my head? And Dark, of course you don't have it in you to become the person you were before. All that has become a part of who you are, and changed you. Don't worry about alone being your fate. Just live your life according to your standards, your desires. That's all any of us can do.
XKatieX Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I agree I never had a problem being alone, but then when I found that special person that completely changed my life, I could never imagine being alone again. I've always been more of introverted and quiet person too, I have to really been in the mood to go out with people, I dont like to feel im forced if I'm really depressed. You could just tell your friends you need time and you don't want to be pushed into something you're not ready for. But it is definitely not wrong at all, its part of the grieving process you go through. You will have on and off days and days you just want to be alone. At this point do whatever YOU feel you need to do to feel better, whether its being alone or going out and having fun. Don't worry about what your friends want or others want you to do, they are just trying to help but time will really be the only thing that cures.
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