MizFit Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 As someone once said, not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Just wish her a little short-term misery and then a nice life. You don't know anything about her, or why she has such low standards that she would be ok with the guy she's with to sleep with other women. That's really sad when you think about it. And I don't know of any man that would ever respect or stay with a woman like that. You have to know that she's not the reason your husband cheated. That was HIS choice. Once all your anger subsides - and you are understandably angry and hurt - it would be better for you to keep both of them out of your thoughts and conversation. People do things we don't like and things that hurt us, not because they want to hurt us but because they have free choice, and sometimes that choice tramples on others' feelings. Better to accept that and become resilient, than to let someone else knock you on your butt for an eternity. Yes....I can see how you missed the part where you villified the OW....
eeyore1981 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Well we can agree to not think much about each other because every post you put forward is basically relegating the blame beyond the person who did the betraying...we disagree. I have feelings about you as a person and you do me...I'll happily leave it at that. I will not grovel and lay at the feet of the BS-I was one. I made a choice to be loyal to someone I cared for and he made the choice to be deceitful to his W...if it had been my choice I'd have yelled it from the rooftops. Good luck to you... BBM It was your choice, and this is where you and I disagree. It was your choice, and you did not yell it from the rooftops, you chose deceit. Just because you were a BS as well does not give you a free pass.
Angel1111 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Yes....I can see how you missed the part where you villified the OW.... You have completely missed my point. What I was saying is that instead of judging this woman, the BS may want to consider that the OW had a hard life, which has caused her to have the standards she has. Yes, those are low standards. Not because of being the OW but because she told the WS that he could sleep with anyone he wants to, while she's with him. I call those low standards and basically anyone with any measure of self-esteem would not have these kinds of expectations. That doesn't villify her, it's about having sympathy for what her life may have been like as a child.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 wishing the OW well? I told the OM "good luck, you are going to need it with a serial cheater like her. Sucks to be you and better you now than me. I'm free!!" after telling him that, word from her friends is that it caused a HUGE fight between them. He knows what she is, but he thinks with his d!ck.
MizFit Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 BBM It was your choice, and this is where you and I disagree. It was your choice, and you did not yell it from the rooftops, you chose deceit. Just because you were a BS as well does not give you a free pass. I don't need a free pass...I'm simply saying that because I was a BS and had specific feelings I carried them to when I was an OW. I neither want nor need a free pass on a betrayal made by someone else. I chose loyalty...he chose deceit.
jennie-jennie Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 As for the OW, I wish her no harm. I want her to stay the hell away from my family. And because I am a kind person, I hope she someday grows and matures enough so that she can find the life she truly wants. And stops trying to steal the lives already enjoyed by more evolved women. I mean, pain just begets more pain, for all involved. If not us, then maybe the next unsuspecting family, man, woman, child, will not have to go through what we have had to endure these last two years. AMEN. Huh? Spark, I do hope the bolded part applies specifically to the OW in your life.
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