EsseQuam Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me roughly 2 months ago, we live in separate cities that are a airplane flight away. For a year before we had been in the same city, due to jobs I had to move away. Anyways, I was visiting her when she dropped the bomb, but I had an inclination it was coming. The whole "we need a break" "I want this to be right, but it's not right right now" had been going on for quite sometime before. I never got a complete explanation as to why she wanted a break, couldn't really put it in words. She definitely displayed a lot of the GIG symptoms that I've read, couple that with the fact she said we should take a break and "if something happens with someone else, it happens, but I'm not looking for it..." Still pretty much in the blue as to why it happened, but she turned from the innocent I don't want to drink to being out with coworkers and random college friends a great deal of nights. Even her two closest friends asked me what she was doing and I said I had no idea either, it was all just strange. 1 week after the NC, I get a text saying good luck with a job interview that I had in her city. I say Thanks, then don't respond to anymore of her text Anyways, 2 weeks into the break, she finds out I went to visit a mutual friend of ours (a girl she thought I had feelings for, I do not, nothing happened) but my ex decides to send a text just to let me know she heard I had visited. I ignore the message A week later I have a FB friend request from my ex's older sister, I cut off my ex from FB right after the break and went immediate NC after acting like a fool and begging. About a month and a half into NC, my ex runs the inquisition on my friend asking him how I am, do I have plans to move soon, mentions she's been wanting to call me.. Just last week I get a card which reads, just wanted to send a note to say "hi". Then further goes on to ask how I am, how is my family, do I have plans to move, we do not need to be strangers...then signs it Love, XXXX What is to be made of all of this? I've stayed NC the entire time except that I shot her a text thanking her for the card 5 days after I received it? I know you're all firm NC believers as am I, but what is her desire here? We're not close in the sense that we live in the same city, so that kind of throws this for a twist. She knows I work ridiculously long hours and probably right now do not have the chance to meet anyone long term r/s wise. Does this play into her thought process? Thanks guys, you rock!
Oh Moe Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I'm no Girl but my Ex is now doing the same thing. Although we sound a little older then you. My Ex. wouldn't even talk to people who drank, did drugs even gossiped or was involved with drama. If we were out to eat and people were drunk we would have to leave. Now she is the drama and these are her new friends. The only thing I'll get and this is mean is she is going to crash and I'll be there to look on only.(I feel for her poor kids) She's already lost a very good job because of her good friends and now is doing min. wage work and that won't last. She was one of the hardest working people and most respected person I've know until about 6 weeks after we split.
Author EsseQuam Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 It's an unfortunate situation, yours does in fact seem more difficult than mine. Clearly it's all come out of the blue, might this be something they need to get out of their systems? I'm not quite sold on what's going on and I try to make sense of it, but I figure it'll work out one way or another and quite frankly I don't have time to wait around for her to come back to her senses. I went the NC route and it's helped heaps to get over the feelings I had for her, it's almost made easier because I don't feel like I know the person she has become. All the best mate, seems like we're in similar situations. I'd just like to figure out why she feels a need to try and bait me along with cards and random text and all...odd
Author EsseQuam Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 Anyone, any insight? I'm just a bit confused with all this and maybe I'm looking too much into it, in fact I'm sure that I am. But, in all honesty, is she simply checking in on my well being? It's been two months and I haven't spoken a word, granted we're both incredibly stubborn. Thanks for your opinions
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 She wants to make sure you aren't going anywhere in case she needs you later on.
hurting_in_nw Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Unless you want her back, and I can't tell from your posts if you do or not, the answer to all of this is, "Who cares?" If you're letting her go, don't worry what her thought processes or motivations are, just try not to care about it.
dazzle22 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 This is classic "dog in the manger" behavior exhibited mainly by younger women. I did this when I was 20. Can't really tell you why, probably an aversion to abrubtly closing the door on someone who still meant something to me, but whom I no longer wanted a romantic relationship with. Crazy making I am sure..
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