crackerjax9 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 weve been dating for almost 6 months...ive asked him to take single out of his profile several times and he just makes up excuses or tells me hes going to do it and then never does...why? is this a red flag?
Snomis2643 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Hey I'm sure this is a frustrating thing for you and it would bother me too if i had a gf who wouldn't 'admit' that we were in a relationship. And as an honest guy, I'm not trying to be mean and I don't want to break your heart but him not posting it is a very bad sign. To me that screams, I am going to have other girls, check out my facebook, and if they see I'm taken, say good bye to a possible one nighter. He is hiding something I can almost guarantee it, there are alternitive motives for his refusal to change it. Don't get hurt, its no fun as we all know. Try to squash the problem now and be firm about it. But, if he won't change it then run away without looking back. It'll save your heart in the long run, trust me. 1
Bejita463 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I don't understand this fixation with failbook. I really don't.
Boundary Problem Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 He's not committed to monogamy with you. Sorry. Did you see your ex today?
Ody Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Did you see your ex today? LOL no but I saw the Rangers game which was pretty depressing. Why do you ask?
Vertex Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Honestly, anyone who makes up an excuse to remain "single" on Facebook is just wanting to keep options open. Either that or he is somehow ashamed to be going out with you. 1
Boundary Problem Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 LOL no but I saw the Rangers game which was pretty depressing. Why do you ask? It seems there is a new merry go round and I'm getting dizzy
Ody Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 It seems there is a new merry go round and I'm getting dizzy Sorry I'm pretty tired and not sure what you're talking about. Anyway, I could be unconscious and still read this one. Refuses to change single status on facebook despite repeated pleas = still considers himself single.
Midnight Rider Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Hey I'm sure this is a frustrating thing for you and it would bother me too if i had a gf who wouldn't 'admit' that we were in a relationship. And as an honest guy, I'm not trying to be mean and I don't want to break your heart but him not posting it is a very bad sign. To me that screams, I am going to have other girls, check out my facebook, and if they see I'm taken, say good bye to a possible one nighter. He is hiding something I can almost guarantee it, there are alternitive motives for his refusal to change it. Don't get hurt, its no fun as we all know. Try to squash the problem now and be firm about it. But, if he won't change it then run away without looking back. It'll save your heart in the long run, trust me. Honestly, if the guy thinks like that then he SHOULD just post it. It seems many women these days will be more likely to look at or notice a guy when he is with another woman. Go figure, but I've experienced this first hand with both my ex and my current partner. It's quite bizarre.
harmfulsweetz Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 It's a red flag certainly. There's a reason he won't, if there was no reason not to, he would do it, wouldn't he? He won't put it up there because he doesn't want to just commit himself to you, he doesn't want to announce you as his gf, he's keeping his options open. I'd ask right away where you actually stand, so you don't stay with someone who isn't committed to you. 1
Art_Critic Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Honestly, anyone who makes up an excuse to remain "single" on Facebook is just wanting to keep options open. Indeed.. I would add that they also might be trying to hide the relationship from someone they are keeping on the backburner as well... 1
New Again Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 You're bf is a shady tool, as everyone else stated. However he's also dumb and/or lazy. Clearly he has another girl or girls he doesn't want to know he's taken. At least he's not sleazy/smart enough to change his status to keep you happy and then mess around with his privacy settings to hide it from the other girls.
jerseyboy Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 You're bf is a shady tool, as everyone else stated. However he's also dumb and/or lazy. Clearly he has another girl or girls he doesn't want to know he's taken. At least he's not sleazy/smart enough to change his status to keep you happy and then mess around with his privacy settings to hide it from the other girls. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Yep And dont kid yourself into thinking its jst he wants to remain open just in case. He would have done it by now just to shut you up Its that other girls hes seeing will see it as well
Yukikazi Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 This sort of crap is why I just leave that field blank
dreamergrl Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 You're bf is a shady tool, as everyone else stated. However he's also dumb and/or lazy. Clearly he has another girl or girls he doesn't want to know he's taken. At least he's not sleazy/smart enough to change his status to keep you happy and then mess around with his privacy settings to hide it from the other girls. very true
serialgf Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 This sort of crap is why I just leave that field blank ditto. once in a while i jokingly bring up to my bf that we should post our relationship because, honestly, i would do it if he were into it because we've been dating for over a year and i'm very much in love with him, but he always gives me a horrified look and says no because he doesn't want his business posted all over the internet because everyone who we're friends with gets the "update"... and frankly, i understand where he's coming from and am (mostly) relieved that he is so against it b/c i would probably regret it how old are you guys? 6 months isn't really that long and when people break up then everyone gets that "update" too... its ridiculous HOWEVER, my bf and i both have NOTHING in the relationship box... i would not like it if his said "single"..... have you tried asking your bf if he would just change it to blank/no answer? that could be a nice compromise... good luck! sgf
Alf Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I am like your boyfriend. I have never changed my profile from Single, interested in Random Play in any relationship. I don't like the public nature of it. It has nothing to do with shame or anything else.
missmay Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I'm sure there are some people who really don't care about Facebook or they have privacy issues that prevent them from stating their relationship status. I think its mostly an excuse though. I won't get into the details but I ended up unknowingly being the ow for 6-8 months and there was some Facebook coverups involved. I think a good general rule is this..... If you feel something is wrong it probably is. Intuition is your best guide. Good luck.
kizik Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Honey, I just don't feel like we're Facebooking enough. You never comment on my status updates. I just don't think it's working out. I am going to have to unfriend you. We can still be friends on MySpace, though. I'm really sorry. Maybe I'll send you an Evite someday.
kiss_andmakeup Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 My boyfriend wont add me ass his gf on faceboko Ahhhh perhaps the problem is that he only has facebook and not faceboko. He also may have been confused as to how to add someone ass his girlfriend. In all seriousness, just like everyone else said, he either has someone on the back burner already and doesn't want them to know he's in a relationship, or he wants to keep his options open. Either way he's not committed to you despite what he may say. It would be one thing if he just left the field blank as another poster suggested, but blatantly putting "single" is kind of a slap in the face to you. Ditch 'im.
threebyfate Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I know dick about FB but based on what people have told me about it, there's a wall that you can write things on. I would write something like this: "Honey, I love you and love being your girlfriend! The past x months/years have been fantastic." "*smoochies*" If he has the ability to censor, he might not post it. This means you have a problem. If he allows it to be posted when he has the ability to censor, you're being paranoid and there's nothing to worry about. If he allows everything to be posted without censoring, you're going to blow things wide open, if he has someone else on the backburner. 1
Lish Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) And this is the reason I don't have Facebook. Complete waste of time. And, OP, please, get a dictionary. Edited December 2, 2009 by Lish
phineas Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I'd say something shady is going on. On the other hand i left all that stuff blank. Are you sure personal info sends out a notice? My friend recently moved & changed their home town in face book & no notice went out. Or is relationship status different? I really wouldn't want a notice going out to all my friends that I now have a GF. It just seems tacky.
threebyfate Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 In my experience, anyone who's unwilling to acknowledge a friendship or relationship in the open, online, requiring "discretion", usually has a reason for it that you're not going to like or appreciate. While I've given you advice on how to test for this, personally, I would walk away. 1
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