comj49 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I recently seperated from my wife of 9 years. We agreed to split any extra money, so she didn't feel like she had to come ask me for money, plus i could control what we spend, to a degree. I don't know what to do from here. We have a house, 3 credit cards (not sure who's name they are in), and a car.. She is the one that wants to have her "space", and i don't really know if she will ever come back. We are splitting time in the home with our kids. Do i start cancelling cards and have both of us open seperate accounts in our own names? Do we cancel the joint checking account? I don't believe she will run up any debt, but i am not sure. If we are to do this, how do i approach her about it, without making it a major issue? Again, i don't know if we will divorce in the long run, but I want to be prepared if she keeps progressing down that road.
Gunny376 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) Cancel the current cards, assume responsibility for the total amount and pay them off.They're going to end up on you anyway! Take control! Also run a credit check ~ you may have a department card from Macey's or Belks you don't know about. Its possible that you've got accounts that you don't know about! Edited December 1, 2009 by Gunny376
luv2shop Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I recently seperated from my wife of 9 years. We agreed to split any extra money, so she didn't feel like she had to come ask me for money, plus i could control what we spend, to a degree. I don't know what to do from here. We have a house, 3 credit cards (not sure who's name they are in), and a car.. She is the one that wants to have her "space", and i don't really know if she will ever come back. We are splitting time in the home with our kids. Do i start cancelling cards and have both of us open seperate accounts in our own names? Do we cancel the joint checking account? I don't believe she will run up any debt, but i am not sure. If we are to do this, how do i approach her about it, without making it a major issue? Again, i don't know if we will divorce in the long run, but I want to be prepared if she keeps progressing down that road. oh wow u have it worse then i do.. ive been married for 9 years and just seperated 6 months ago.. it was sort of my choice .. i didnt think of the consequece of what will happen i just thought about tomorrow.. i didnt have any thing with him just a one year old daughter and when he gets her we barely speak.. i just give her back and thats all. hes sooo bitter with me. i dont know what i did to him.. but right now .. its hard for u becuz u have things with her.. i wish u luck and just pray and u will get through it. i guess it happens part of life is if she meant to be with u .. i am a women and we forgive more.. and space .. is just a matter of time..
PWSX3 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Me & my former wife separated with the hopes of getting our marriage back together. We had credit cards but they were in each others names except for one so I paid that one off with another card that was just in my name. In the 7 months that we were separated I'm not sure how much she racked up on one of her cards but I figured it was around $5,000.00 that she claimed she had to do when she moved out to buy things she didn't have.... In the 7 months I figured it cost around $10,000.00 if you added in what she had to pay for rent, etc. I would highly suggest getting a legal separation paper written up so she can't spend any money. DO NOT believe anything she say's & only believe half of what she does. The person she will become is nothing like the person you married. I would also suggest seeing a lawyer just to make sure your a$$ is covered.
Enema Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 You only get one life. I'd do everything in my power to make sure my future wasn't jeopardized.
Author comj49 Posted December 9, 2009 Author Posted December 9, 2009 oh wow u have it worse then i do.. ive been married for 9 years and just seperated 6 months ago.. it was sort of my choice .. i didnt think of the consequece of what will happen i just thought about tomorrow.. i didnt have any thing with him just a one year old daughter and when he gets her we barely speak.. i just give her back and thats all. hes sooo bitter with me. i dont know what i did to him.. but right now .. its hard for u becuz u have things with her.. i wish u luck and just pray and u will get through it. i guess it happens part of life is if she meant to be with u .. i am a women and we forgive more.. and space .. is just a matter of time.. First, my wife decided she wanted her freedom after 9 years, maybe similiar to what you did. I truly believe she is going to regret it, but like you she isn't thinking of tomorrow, only today. What you did to him was leave him!! If he is like me, he is really hurting that you decided to leave, and he wants to make it work, only to hear that you don't. Haven't you ever been dumped by a boyfriend you were crazy about? When one person feels that they aren't happy and want out, while the other is somewhat blindsided, it creates alot of anger. My wife is lucky that i am as forgiving and understanding as i am, because most guys wouldn't be as supportive as I have been. Part of me thinks she is going to snap out of it, so despite the fact that i am moving on with my life, i want things to be civil for the rest of our relationship, at least for the kids. I hope you have done the right thing. I don't know anything about your story so i don't know, but hopefully you don't wake up wishing you would have worked it out. How is it going by the way? Do you feel the space apart has done anything?
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