Emilyifd39 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I talked with my ex tonight. It was a good talk for once but I am confused. Most of the time when you are dumped your ex does not give you much of an exlanation of what went wrong. Tonight I was told that he believes in love at first sight and that everything was fine at the begining and then through my pregnancy and depression something had changed. I admit I was always wondering what he was doing as I was insecure from a relationship before that where I was beat and cheated on. As I go to therapy I realize this. We lost our child at 9 months and that has took a toll on me. I am keeping it together as much as possible. I however do not like to play games and we had a bad fight on the our break up and he said he never wanted to know who I really was. Now he tells me he believes in love at fisrt sight and what I did wrong. He also told me that there is no one new right now and that he has not moved on. We keep argeed we need to leave the past in the past and not bring it up again. I understant what I did wrong without him even telling me. The main question is why is he telling me all of this? He has seen me out having fun. At least I pretend too! He said he would just like me to be myself again and that he will never blame me for our childs death and what went wrong. Then we went on with a conversation with laughter about stuff that recently happened and about why we each love our carreers because of the adrenaline rush. Something we never discussed before. I'm confused at how to take all this. I do love him and want him back but if he believes at love at first sight how can I? He only really knows me depressed..
xoxo88 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 He tells you what you did wrong because you deserve it. This is what everyone dreams about. An honest reason for the break up. I don't think you would have liked to spend your nights crying and wondering what you did wrong. What he did was the right thing. It might be upsetting to hear all that but it's the right way to go.
billy356 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 There is no way to tell that the explanation he gave for the breakup was honest. It could be very simply a way to hurt you further, to find a release for his own guilt for leaving you, a way to convince himself that what he did was right. I cant agree that he did the right thing, I believe what he did was petty and purposely inflammatory. You were you and he was he. You didnt do anything wrong, you just didnt work together as a couple. This is why no contact (NC) is such an important principle to follow. You are in a painful place right now. You have had to go through things that no person should have to go through. He chose to leave during this time instead of helping you through it. That was his choice. You need to choose to stop being in contact with him and work through your own issues. Live your own life. Heal. The only thing you DESERVE is a man who will love, support and nurture you. And that man DESERVES the same in return. Work through the pain and you will be in that situation eventually. And you will be happy. Wishing you the best....
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