sistergldnhair66 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Hi everyone! My name is Eileen. Let me tell you a bit of my drama. My Husband and I have been married 22 years. I'd say the past 5 have been the most stressful. We've owned a business together for the past 10. It's making a nice income for both of us, but we are not millionaires. In the past there have always been rumors of other woman, but I never had anything concrete, right down to women on the internet, in his role playing games that he has always said are just friends. I had gastric bypass 4 years ago and became very very sick after a year. It took a year before they finally figured out that it was vitamin deficiencies and malnutrition from the surgery. I was placed on a feeding tube and had to remain home from the office for 8 months during which time I had it reversed. While i was sick, husband was home less and less, and it was my kids who basically looked out for me. I regained my health, and we had issues with my older son and a drug problem that put a strain on us.. husband is also addicted to computer gaming. He once remained home from work for over a year. Came to the office one day every few weeks, up all night playing. I kicked hiim out, he swore he'd straighten out, and he did for a few months, but then it started again. He refuses to admit that this is a problem. Fast forward, to my son being placed in a treatment center and I began therapy to help me with him. Soon enough, my marriage and my well being became the focus of my therapy and I became to realize how unhappy I was in my marriage. I've run our business basically without him, as when hes there he is gaming. He had begun to stay at the office for weeks at a time (there is a sleep space in the office). I finally got the courage up to ask for a divorce on Halloween. He broke down, begged cried pleaded but I was set. A week later, he had a business trip to Atlantic City. After that, a friend told me that she knew he had someone else. She said he'd been talking with her for a while, that he knew her when he was young and they reconnected on facebook. The woman met him in Atlantic City. She is WHITE TRASH. No money, no job, and I'm sure sees my husband as a sugar daddy. And he, I'm sure, is enjoying being seen that way. This friehd, who is close to my husband also confessed to me, that my husband has been cross dressing, and has a desire to be a woman. Needless to say my head is spinning. This past weekend, even though my lawyer said it wouldn't matter in the divorce, I had to spy, to catch him...finally. I needed to see for myself, and let him know I knew, so that he could no longer think he had one over on me. I am so sick over all of this information, and even sicker still to realize that despite all this craziness, I do love him. I am more enraged about the woman, than about his gender problem, as I figure he cannot help that part. I found them in a hotel room, and even though I told him her car, her looks, everything, he still maintains that she is a friend. Today he signed a lease for an apartment which is costing a bit more than I see he needs, but oh well, what can I do. He began having his paycheck direct deposited to his account as of this week. I know the lawyer said he would have to help pay the house bills, as we have an 18 y/o daughter at home, and we need to do some major work on this house before we can sell it. I'm just so tired, and confused, and mad, and oh, did I say confused. I just wanted to share my craziness and get someone else's take on things.
soheartbroken Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 This is craziness, but most stories have a bit of that to them. It looks like, on the surface, the divorce is the right thing for both of you, as you both seem to want to move on. How do you really feel about this? You don't mention sad or anything...do you have an interest in saving the marriage? Does he? Is there a mutual interest worth taking into counseling?
Author sistergldnhair66 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 I am extremely sad. Despite all the wackiness...I still love him, but he has sooooooooooooooo much work to do on himself as a person, and I am not sure he will be able to do it and keep the balls up. I need more in a person, is the face that we love each other enough? I do not know anymore....
imagine Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 You sound as though you need to consult a professional. Beware there are many dud MC's out there. If you are American possibly you may want to go to a Marriage builder weekend course. Google it. I do not want to give you any advice. I'm out of my depth.
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