nobmagnet Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Hello all, To all seasoned and new members, I have a WAH (walk away husband) and Christmas is coming. He is paying the bills but no maintainance till the house is sold. I am living off £400 per month for food and clothes and its tight. But heres the rub..........santas coming. I dont know how to pay for it other than going into debt and it scares me. I have no idea if he will stop paying the bills soon as he wants to move on quick( new G/F) Do I borrow?.........its hard enough for the kids but to have a tight Chrimble will just show them that life is poo without "Daddy". I wont and would never say anything bad about him infront of them but I know that he will lavish expencive gifts on them when he sees them on Boxing day. I am frightened they will hate me for everything even tho its him that left. Any advice? neetxx:(
PinkToes Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 When I was about 10 years old, I remember spending a day with my mom, running errands, of all things. I have the most vivid memory of everything we did together that day; visiting the paint store and other such things. And it's kind of silly, really, that I would even remember that. But it was a summer day, and we were driving around, and it was just the two of us. I never would have imagined that day would stick out in my mind, after all these years. But I know there have been plenty of Christmas gifts I've forgotten, in that time. Maybe even some of the biggest or most expensive. But I remember the times with my mom. Baking cookies and running errands. So I think I would avoid running into debt, for the sake of a few extra gifts this year. Perhaps you could plan some really special time together, at some of the local events. Pack up the kids for a day trip out of town, or take them to help serve meals to the homeless. Whatever you can do that will create a special memory for them will carry more weight than you can imagine. And you can still buy a few gifts, but just smaller things this year. In the end, having a mom who really loves them and takes the time to show them she is there for them is what will stick. And if you bake a few cookies together, and deliver them to people who are alone for the holiday, all the better! By the way, I love your screen name.
Author nobmagnet Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 what a great idea! What a lovely story. I do know some old people in the village that would be delighted to see small kids and have some cookies on Christmas day. Thank you for twisting the situation round for me! We will have a giving Christmas not a taking. I am a Nob magnet. If there is a Knobhead within 50 mile radious he is attracted to me and I will fall in love! DOH xx
PinkToes Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Perfect! How old are your kids? You could even go to a crafts store together, and pick out things to decorate the packages. I'll bet it will be a Christmas they will remember forever -- long after all the new toys are outgrown. Happy Christmas to all of you!
Author nobmagnet Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 17 years old 7 and 6. its the 7 and6 year olds I need to help my eldest understands the situation too well (guilt Guilt) they opened their advent this morning and I recon I am going to decorate the house tonight with them. Its an exciting time of year. Thanks again xx
hopesndreams Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 It isn't about the presents they get, it's about the time spent together as a family, with mum. Let him buy ALL the presents. There are loads of other festive stuff you can be doing that cost little or nothing. Baking gingerbread men maybe? Singing carols? Watching Christmas movies together, etc, etc. I am a Nob magnet. If there is a Knobhead within 50 mile radious he is attracted to me and I will fall in love! Well, after this experience, you will stronger and will be able to tell the knobs to take a hike, and hold out for someone decent and worthy of your love.
Lizzie60 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Pink has a great idea.. make it a giving X-Mas... I'm sure they will enjoy it and feel good about it.. They can help you prepare the food for the homeless... they can make cards for them.. Have an honest discussion with your kids.. make sure they understand what the situation is .. so it's not left out as if you were the 'bad' guy... Good luck.. and have a wonderful Christmas!
Author nobmagnet Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 ta you lot xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Iam getting all excited now and taking up your suggestions in earnest. Went and got some ribbon from the market and some clear wrapping paper with stars on it. We dont have a homeless center nearby but we do have plenty of old folks homes. We will adopt a grannie! Giving is the way. My kids willl learn so much from this
LexiB Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 aww good luck hon - sounds like things are going to be great afterall. Let us know how it goes
PinkToes Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Also hopesndreams has a great point; they'll get all the stuff they need from their dad, so they won't have to miss out on the toys. But you're the one who has an opportunity to create really special memories. Can't wait to see how it turns out!
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