Boundary Problem Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 So I was told by two people who have known me a long time that I am now I am a dark cynic when it comes to relationships. Had no idea. So apparently the cynicism is a defence to cover the broken dreams. So what dreams/trust were broken by the conduct of your former SO?
Author Boundary Problem Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 -Fundamental conduct of SO changed 2 months into marriage -He refused to have a second child (money was not at issue, I offered to do all child care responsibilities) -He didn't protect me from his mother, and he didn't protect our marriage from his mother, from one year anniversary of marriage forward (eg he insisted she come on all birthday dinners etc- so we never actually had dinner alone in a restaurant) -He could spend spend spend. He couldn't really earn earn earn. Helived a lifestyle I could only imagine. -He knew the TV schedule off by heart and I wasn't allowed to interrupt if he was watching a show (which was all the time). I'm getting tired just looking at this list. I'll finish it later.
Odyssey Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Who can blame you for being a little bitter after crawling out of that relationship. If you're a dark cynic, i guess he's a control freak (well... he seems that way from what you've wrote here).
Author Boundary Problem Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 He is basically a perpetual teenager. Took many years for me to realize that he was indifferent to me. And actually - thx for pointing this out - it wasn't so much the actual behaviours that were difficult, since if you love someone you put up with almost anything. It was the indifference. That is what killed me. When you tell them you want to separate and they sort of pause as if you asked them to turn on the dishwasher before going to bed. True indifference. I was expecting yelling or something. And it was a minute shoulder shrug. Just like a teenager being told something mildly annoying. They never grew up to accept responsibility. Literally meant nothing to them, despite all the promises (words).
USMCHokie Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 So what dreams/trust were broken by the conduct of your former SO? The dream that someone could actually love me and want to spend the rest of their life with me. I really don't see it ever happening now.
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