xoxo88 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I just can't seem to get over the break up that happened 7 months ago. I had some better days lately but it looks like i'm going back to the dark side. I know it might seem irational but there's a battle between my mind and my heart. Usually there was a trick (thinking about the nasty things that he did) that worked when i missed my ex or when those affectionate feelings came back to me, but now nothing works anymore. I can't control it anymore. Suddenly i find myself feeling those feelings (you know what i'm talking about - missing him, wanting to be near him) but i know very clearly that i don't wanna be with him anymore, and i just wanna move on, that's what i want the most: move on!!! I read any possible guide but nothing helps. It's overwhelming and i don't know what to do withmyself anymore.
worldcavedin Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 (edited) I just can't seem to get over the break up that happened 7 months ago. I had some better days lately but it looks like i'm going back to the dark side. I know it might seem irational but there's a battle between my mind and my heart. Usually there was a trick (thinking about the nasty things that he did) that worked when i missed my ex or when those affectionate feelings came back to me, but now nothing works anymore. I can't control it anymore. Suddenly i find myself feeling those feelings (you know what i'm talking about - missing him, wanting to be near him) but i know very clearly that i don't wanna be with him anymore, and i just wanna move on, that's what i want the most: move on!!! I read any possible guide but nothing helps. It's overwhelming and i don't know what to do withmyself anymore. May i suggest that maybe it is this website that is actually holding you back! Now dont think that i am slating the website, im not, it is a truelly wonderful site for helping us allcope with the pain. But i sometimes think that this site could also hold you back as you constantly read over and over about breakups. And that might just keep us from moving on just an opinion Edited November 30, 2009 by worldcavedin spelling mistake
Author xoxo88 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 No i don't think it's the website. It only helped me to put down my thoughts, clarify some things and made me feel more relieved. I even got to the point where i was pretty much over him. But now i'm back in the misery .
Unistudent Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 What kind of things are you doing to keep your mind away from thoughts of you X? In my experience (my X gf broke up with me after 9 years in... late June) I found... after pining over her for like 2-3 months and still spending time with her... that getting my body back up to its pristine shape through exercise, hanging out with friends and distracting myself with lots of work helped keep my mind off of her and eventually made me forget about her. I hear that going shopping also helps. Try getting rid of things (if you can) that remind you of him too. Best of luck
Author xoxo88 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 No matter how many activities i try to fill in may day with, at some point they are going to end. And that's when i can't run away from my thoughts anymore, and man the truth is i can't run away from them forever. I must face the reality of the situation, give those thoughts the attention that they need if they keep coming back and finally put a stop to this pathetic lingering. It's just that i don't know how to end it. What to tell myself to stop it forever?
Wings Of Love Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I feel exactly the same after almost 10 months. NC for 4 months, but it's a struggle everyday not to give in and contact him. I do plan to soon, at Christmas, because I want him to know I don't hate him. This whole thing hurts so much because he has been with his latest girlfriend for nearly 8 months. I wish I could give you some advice, but the only thing that helps me is spending time with my friends and family, talking about him when I need to and letting myself cry, because bottling it up makes things worse. I'm sorry I can't help, but you're not alone. I hope you start to heal soon.
HLP234 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 If you are going no contact you just have to forget her or him at all matters. If they contact you and somehow prove to you that they miss you or still have feelings, than meet up and talk to them. But if they did something that you have no idea why they broke up with you, it means they are confused and don't know what they want. The only way to get through it is to make them realize that they were wrong, use their words against them...doesn't mean be an ******* or something just don't make any contact, and if they contact you first, be very short and brief even if they seem they are happy and fine months later. Its your choice weather you can be a friend with this person again or not..sometimes you can't be a friend to someone you love so much and the only thing to do is leave them alone for good.
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