Woggle Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Men do tend to hold in when they are upset but that is because society teaches us to suck it up and take it like a man. Men also tend to be pretty happy as long as they are being treated well but many women no matter how well a man treats them tend to become resntful and angry towards him. If a man doesn't magically realize that a woman has started hating him he is in for some punishment.
muse08 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I've seen that too many times from personal experience and vicariously. This is part of the communication breakdown btwn men and women. It starts a VISCOUS CYCLE (tit for tat)that really needs to stop... It pushes one another so far away that the relationship becomes so dysfunctional and the only option is "fight or flight" and who wants to be fighting everyday about the same stuff...not me. my guy(ex guy) would be so insecure that he'd always accuse me of flirting with other guys or trying to cheat when i asked for a little space. he wouldn't want us to sleep at our own places ever, when we FiRST STARTED DATING...that's not normal and i figure if he wanted all that he needed to be making some kind of committment. he eventually proposed but he was moving so fast b/c he had some insecurity issues going on about himself and his life that he though moving fast would keep me. now that we've broken he does everything he can to call and text to make it sound like he is doing so well and his emotions are fine and ok and stable, but i'm the one not responding and he's the one still calling everyday playing childish games, trying to get inside my head and act like he still cares when i feel like all he wants is CONTROL of me and to nag me about my decision to break up with him. One minute he's telling me he loves me the next he's telling me I'm cold and that I asked for the break up. So if all this stuff is true why would a dude keep calling and texting throughout the day, weeks and months after the breakup. mind you he has some drama in his life that would affect me and not leave room for HAPPINESS OR SANITY. Many of you guys don't show this side of you until further down the line. Had I stayed w/my ex I'd probably be living a nightmare. Keep in mind woggle you DO NOT know the entire story. We'd be here all day ...I'm just briefing you.
Skump Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 A note on the infamous US "divorce rate" - it's highly stratified by education level. The hoopla over the divorce rate is a textbook example of the dangers of making specific inferences from broad demographic statistics, particularly when those inferences are compounded by lazy static analysis. See, for example, The Divorce Rate: It's Not as High as You Think. Basically, it comes down as one would expect: poor, and poorly educated, Americans, have a greatly disproportionate divorce rate and skew the statistics. Moreover, when two people were married also has a significant impact on their probability of divorce. If you're a well-educated man with his **** together and a preference for likeminded women, your "risk" in marrying has been vastly overstated by the media.
ADF Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Why do atheists marry again? It's an almost exclusively religious institution in every culture at nearly every time period of history. It makes as much sense as atheists sacrificing goats. That is absolutely false. Marriage is first and foremost a LEGAL relationship, not a religious one.
You'reasian Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I read so much about couples that have been together for years and SHE is waiting for HIM to propose. A lot of women feel this push for marriage, but what about the men? What makes a man want to get married rather than just keeping the title of "the boyfriend"? I can't speak for all men, but I do. I think its a process. Your relationship goes through stages: you're attracted, you have good chemistry, you become monogamous, you devlop trust, respect, love etc. If there are problems in the process, you cannot move on until the issue is resolved - some guys just don't want to get married, some do. Many are looking for a good partner, some are looking for trophy women, some are just looking for the sex - we will tell and show you what we want.
elaina Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I read so much about couples that have been together for years and SHE is waiting for HIM to propose. A lot of women feel this push for marriage, but what about the men? What makes a man want to get married rather than just keeping the title of "the boyfriend"? From what I've noticed, a man tends to want to get married if one or more of the points below applies to him... 1. He values marriage and sees marriage in a positive light. 2. He wants to start a family, have kids, in a structured, hopefully secure and pleasant atmosphere. 3. His parents have (or had) a happy marriage and encourage him, by example, to get married. 4. He believes in God and considers marriage to be important in a spiritual sense, especially when he considers his sexual and companionship needs to be under the "umbrella" of God's direction too. 5. He doesn't want to lose a woman he loves and figures marrying her will keep her. 6. He has expectations that he believes can only be met through marriage. 7. He truly loves a woman and wants to give her everything, including his name.
tincanman99 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Almost all of my friends are married now. A few years ago they were all hot to trot to be married and got hitched to the first woman that would have them. Frankly they sucked at being single. They used to sit around whining about a lack of a girlfriend. Their lives revolved around finding that girlfriend. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. They couldnt get laid in a cathouse in the middle of New Orleans during Mardi Gras . That being said I would say 80% of them are now totally miserable. They make fun of me when they I see them as I am one of the last single guys. I never have seen the plus side of being married. Yeah you have some financial perks and the legality of kids but unless you meet your soulmate whats the point. All my friends complain about lack of sex, that their wives run them, they cant do anything, blah, blah. So what exactly is the upside? I just never had that itch they had to be married. I am not a misogynist and genuinely like women but there was no way I was marrying anyone just for the sake of being married. There is way, way to much downside financially and legally if the marriage goes south. I have seen way to many guys get reamed by the system to make that mistake. At this point, the only way I would marry anyone was if I was 100% sure this was a person I wanted in my life permanently. Otherwise its a no go.
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Marriage is for men who suck at being a player. Players get the adoration of plenty of women while married men get the contempt and resentment of one. If a man had an option it is clear what the best one is.
Awesome Username Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Marriage is for men who suck at being a player. Players get the adoration of plenty of women while married men get the contempt and resentment of one. If a man had an option it is clear what the best one is. Maybe if a man finds a girl that was so special that the thought of her sleeping with another man makes him want to vomit, it would be worth more than constant player status to keep just one. Also, if you wants kids being a player wouldn't be convenient - unless you want the kids to be messed up in the head and possibly rob me someday!
Sam Spade Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Yes it is. If a man keeps his manhood and his balls he will fare much better in life. Even if a woman dumps him he always has a life to fall back on. Too many divorced men end up so alone and depressed because chances are he elminated every semblence of an independent life and dropped all his friends to please her majesty and she still walked on him. If a man keeps his independent identity and his friends he will be more respected by his woman and will bounce back more quickly if she does walk. True story. I'd even go as far as to say that he doesn't even actually to have any separate hobbies/activity, just a strong identity outside of the marriage that all is well with or without the woman (and mean it). If my gf keeps treating me the way she does, I will soon reach a point where I can't wait to get married, but I temper these feelings with the knowledge that as soon as I become all sweetness and no edge she will probably get turned off and we'll start having problems. It's a hard balance, but I guess being vigilant that way is just a habit one needs to develop, just like brushing teeth in the morning.
Sam Spade Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Almost all of my friends are married now. A few years ago they were all hot to trot to be married and got hitched to the first woman that would have them. Frankly they sucked at being single. They used to sit around whining about a lack of a girlfriend. Their lives revolved around finding that girlfriend. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. They couldnt get laid in a cathouse in the middle of New Orleans during Mardi Gras . That being said I would say 80% of them are now totally miserable. They make fun of me when they I see them as I am one of the last single guys. I never have seen the plus side of being married. Yeah you have some financial perks and the legality of kids but unless you meet your soulmate whats the point. All my friends complain about lack of sex, that their wives run them, they cant do anything, blah, blah. So what exactly is the upside? I just never had that itch they had to be married. I am not a misogynist and genuinely like women but there was no way I was marrying anyone just for the sake of being married. There is way, way to much downside financially and legally if the marriage goes south. I have seen way to many guys get reamed by the system to make that mistake. At this point, the only way I would marry anyone was if I was 100% sure this was a person I wanted in my life permanently. Otherwise its a no go. My boss could be one of these guys. He's a smart and decent looking guy, but the way he talks about his marriage leaves the impression that he's literally a puppet run by his wife and kids. Sad. I don't understand it. All he has to do is say "Honey, I'm tired and I want this weekend all to myself. See you Monday. And I'll watch the kids next weekend if you want to do something for yourself". (And then stare her down if she tries to give him crap).. Jesus.
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Maybe if a man finds a girl that was so special that the thought of her sleeping with another man makes him want to vomit, it would be worth more than constant player status to keep just one. Also, if you wants kids being a player wouldn't be convenient - unless you want the kids to be messed up in the head and possibly rob me someday! Even if I do find a woman that special she will probably end up being with another man anyway. It's usually the so called nice ones that end up turning on you. The kids will messed up just as bad if the family is broken up because mommy needs to find herself.
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 My boss could be one of these guys. He's a smart and decent looking guy, but the way he talks about his marriage leaves the impression that he's literally a puppet run by his wife and kids. Sad. I don't understand it. All he has to do is say "Honey, I'm tired and I want this weekend all to myself. See you Monday. And I'll watch the kids next weekend if you want to do something for yourself". (And then stare her down if she tries to give him crap).. Jesus. My boss is that way as well. His wife always seems to be mad at him over something and he won't even go out do dinner with the guys without asking her permission.
muse08 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 So guys...Explain all the characteristics of an ideal wife pleeease;)
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 So guys...Explain all the characteristics of an ideal wife pleeease;) Faithful Loving Gives me freedom Shows her love for me on a regular basis Does not put me down or degrade me I truly do not think this is too much to ask.
Pyro Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Faithful Loving Gives me freedom Shows her love for me on a regular basis Does not put me down or degrade me I truly do not think this is too much to ask. You make it sound as though you have yet to meet someone like this. Aren't you married? I notice that you like to say that you could easily be a player but yet you say that marriage is for guys who suck at being a player? If you are going to attempt to blow smoke up our asses at least get your story straight.
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 You make it sound as though you have yet to meet someone like this. Aren't you married? I notice that you like to say that you could easily be a player but yet you say that marriage is for guys who suck at being a player? If you are going to attempt to blow smoke up our asses at least get your story straight. I hope I have a wife like this but I have doubts that any woman truly has those qualities. I got married at a time when I still a heart when it came to woman but I am so fed up right now that I truly am heartless towards the female gender. I think I have what it takes to be a player now.
Pyro Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I hope I have a wife like this but I have doubts that any woman truly has those qualities. I got married at a time when I still a heart when it came to woman but I am so fed up right now that I truly am heartless towards the female gender. I think I have what it takes to be a player now. Well maybe you should communicate with her on a civil level and get to know her. You make it sound like you are still getting to know her. If you can convince them to believe your BS then yes you have what it takes but judging by everyone on here, you still have a ways to go.
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Well maybe you should communicate with her on a civil level and get to know her. You make it sound like you are still getting to know her. If you can convince them to believe your BS then yes you have what it takes but judging by everyone on here, you still have a ways to go. Believe me I do have what it takes. I know how to tell women what they want to hear.
Pyro Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Believe me I do have what it takes. I know how to tell women what they want to hear. Sure. How about saving your breath and talking to your wife and making things work with her? How about talking to her about your problems instead of venting to us?
Woggle Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Sure. How about saving your breath and talking to your wife and making things work with her? How about talking to her about your problems instead of venting to us? I had to damn near get a restraining order against a known maneater when I was single. I had to fight off a married woman on a business trip about a year ago. I could easily be a player if I wanted to.
Pyro Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 I had to damn near get a restraining order against a known maneater when I was single. I had to fight off a married woman on a business trip about a year ago. I could easily be a player if I wanted to. Why are you trying to prove it to me? You are married for Gawd sakes.
muse08 Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 Why are you trying to prove it to me? You are married for Gawd sakes. LMBO...
Author ComeUndone Posted December 6, 2009 Author Posted December 6, 2009 I hope I have a wife like this but I have doubts that any woman truly has those qualities. I got married at a time when I still a heart when it came to woman but I am so fed up right now that I truly am heartless towards the female gender. I think I have what it takes to be a player now. I don't understand. So you have a good wife, one that has not f**ked you over, treats you reasonably well, and because of a few outside influences involving shady women, you are resentful toward females in general and doubt any of them are adequate marriage material? This would include your wife Woggle, and I don't really see how she can be lumped into that category too. Doesn't really seem fair to her.
Woggle Posted December 7, 2009 Posted December 7, 2009 I don't understand. So you have a good wife, one that has not f**ked you over, treats you reasonably well, and because of a few outside influences involving shady women, you are resentful toward females in general and doubt any of them are adequate marriage material? This would include your wife Woggle, and I don't really see how she can be lumped into that category too. Doesn't really seem fair to her. It doesn't really include her but the crap I hear constantly from women has certainly hardened my heart.
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