thegoose Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I thought I was moving on. I have new girlfriend. She has a new bf. She wrote me a nice long email talking about all kinds of stuff everyone stills asks about me and remembers. So I responded and I have felt like garbage ever since. I was starting to live pain free although I do not pass many hours without reliving our relationship. What is killing me is I can't stop thinking of her. I mean waking up every morning living in the past. I see us laughing and remember every moment we had to together (would this be pining...I think so) but when will it stop I cried today for the first time in weeks.. It has been about 2 months since the split. I know I still love her. How can I stop thinking of her...please help....even when I am with my lady I think of my x constantly...I can't imagine she does not do the same...help I am totally ****ed today...I thouht I was doing so good..but today I feel like its day one wtf...I am ashamed that I have relapsed ... I am just dying for her to phone or write and tell me she still loves me..there is just something inside that knows its going to happen...she has me on a rope.....I did not mention she is the most beautiful intelligent talented woman in the world and there is no other like her other maybe penelope cruz....I am a great too, talented funny ,spirtual, beautiful, caring and an amazing lover, Its seems I still have my confidence but my ego and heart are dog ****....I have to stop thinking of her..I have to stop thinking of her..I have to stop thinking of her........help.......
sean1970 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I thought I was moving on. I have new girlfriend. She has a new bf. She wrote me a nice long email talking about all kinds of stuff everyone stills asks about me and remembers. So I responded and I have felt like garbage ever since What did you say? How can I stop thinking of her...please help....even when I am with my lady I think of my x constantly... Does your new girl know you are not over your ex? You really should not be with a new girl if you are not over your ex. I have been better lately but not 'over her'. I have been with women since but I told them every bit how I felt and where I was emotionally. I can't imagine she does not do the same...help I am totally ****ed today...I thouht I was doing so good..but today I feel like its day one wtf...I am ashamed that I have relapsed ... Dont be, it happens to all of us. Be kind to yourself and know that this is part of the healing process.
Author thegoose Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 I basically said the same stuff as her that I have someone new in my life. That I am doing well with work and trying to live my dreams and also that I remember our good times and the magic we had and will cherish it forever and of coarse ...That I still love her .... I am completelty honest with my new lover... we have been dating since day 1 of my breakup and purely platonic for 6 weeks...We are now lovers and friends. She just went through the same thing about 6 months before me...so she understands.....she is great and we have a very healthy healing relationship but I love and obcess about my x..I am trying not to talk about my x constantly as I said I feel ashamed and everybody is getting sick of hearing my poor me story....I have to stop thinking of her...I have to stop thinking of her....I have to stop thinking of her,,,....help...
nobmagnet Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 it takes us all different times to get over what SEEMED to be a great relationship. Things will always remind us. I agree with Sean I hope your new G/F is in the picture of where your head is and was. It really would be unfair on her to have a shadow following her and constantly being measured up to. Maybe you are just not ready yet. Relationship breakdowns are agony but i dont know your situation too well from what you said. read some threads see simiarities and listen to the fantastic advice and love you get from here. Im sorry your here but welcome my freind. We would like to help if we can xxx
sean1970 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I am completelty honest with my new lover... we have been dating since day 1 of my breakup and purely platonic for 6 weeks...We are now lovers and friends. She just went through the same thing about 6 months before me...so she understands..... Be very careful with this. While I have done the same, I knew I needed to keep my distance for their and my sake. It is rare that one of the 'lovers' does not develop feelings for the other. While she may indeed 'understand', you don't want to hurt this woman. On the flip side, you are leaning heavy on her for support. If she wants out (maybe meets someone if it is as casual as you indicate), then you are in ****sville all over again. While we do need a support system, the real heavy lifting for healing is done by us.
Author thegoose Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 I agree its fragile. If I could get my x who is not coming back out of my head I may have a chance with this girl. You are 100 percent correct I don't want to hurt her or be hurt again. I will be honest too I am needy and leaning on her for support yes. So far things are great we seem to have a weekly where are we and where are we going conversation. It seems that after we talk of our fears, needs and feelings that we become closer everytime. I have also told her that I am scared to become possesive and dependent of her. I want to get my X out of my head. thanks for your feedback I am going to really focus on her feelings..
nobmagnet Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 do you know what honey...............focus on you more lean on your mates/family not her. Have fun with her and use the time togetherto move on for yourself and herself. xx
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