xoxo88 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 After a devastating break up you realize you've been used, played, fooled, humiliated in a very low manner. How do you accept it without going insane? It horrifies me to think that every person in my life can do that and i won't even realize they are just trash until they hurt me. It freaks me out to think i let somebody treat me like that and that could happen again. How can you get over it and avoid it in the future?
wendy37 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 hun im going through the exact same thing as i type this.i have just found this out the hard way! i spent last weekend with my ex after 7 weeks of nastyness and when we met he said 'i hope we can sort things out and get back together' i was excited but played it cool..the following day after he had had a peice of me,he then changed things too 'i dont have time for a relationship'!!! my ex just confuses the hell out of me and i know hes constantly chasing other women.he wouldnt add me on facebook and kept his mobile out my way for ages now..ive been his fool for long enough and i have lost my self respect and am starting councilling tomorrow coz somewhere i must hate myself to wanna keep putting myself through it..the best revenge im told is happiness babe,however how we get through to something that seems so distant! xx
Author xoxo88 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 Oh dear it looks like you have the honor of dealing with a loser, just like me. Just stay away from him, because he's not worth it, and take care of yourself. Let him go for good, no matter how bad it hurts at the moment, and deal with the situation on your own. Counselling is a good start. You must get back on your feet again, accept the situation and move on beacuse a piece of trash like that is not worth ruining your life for. Do it for yourself, because you deserve much more than what that loser is giving you.
Beeotch Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 After a devastating break up you realize you've been used, played, fooled, humiliated in a very low manner. How do you accept it without going insane? It horrifies me to think that every person in my life can do that and i won't even realize they are just trash until they hurt me. It freaks me out to think i let somebody treat me like that and that could happen again. How can you get over it and avoid it in the future? I totally feel you...while I was not necessarily used and humiliated, ALL breaks up lead you to question yourself and what you did wrong, what signs you did not see, how you could have prevented it, etc. A big thing for me after my break up was the fear that I would become bitter or be afraid ever after to ever trust any man in a relationship again. I think a way to get over it is to give yourself some perspective. First off, surround yourself with POSITIVE people who are also SENSIBLE. Not those who are all bitter cynics now (like some on LS sorry to say) who are one-sided who can only point out the tragedies in life. Find people (friends, people on LS or other online sites, older friends, relatives etc) who have been there before and have recovered and are doing well and I am sure they can help you with gaining perspective and rebuilding your confidence in yourself. It is certainly NOT an easy road and I am not over my ex but during my break up, he did ALOT of ridiculous shyt that upset me. I came to realize it was him and not me. I also take the stance that everything happens for a reason so I look at the positives that came out of the scenario. Perhaps looking at things in that way can also help you. I delved into my own world of self-discovery after my break up...I read ALOT ALOT ALOT. I read inspirational books, inspirational websites, self-help things, meditated and just got so much insight, peace and again perspective from those sources. I also have a bestfriend who fortunately was going through the same thing that was there for me to talk to. I think all those readings and just improving my knowledge and wisdom helped me to grow and feel better, they perhaps will help you as well. Then after all that it is learning to forgive that person so you can be free....which is theeeeeeeeeee HARDEST and I am struggling with that right now. Avoiding it in the future? Well I do not know how much hurt we can avoid and I don't know the particulars of your situation but I can tell you that...take this time to learn all the lessons. Go over the flags, figure out your standards, figure out any issues you may have that may play into it and work on them so you will be better equipped for your next relationship. Goodluck
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