thegreatmoose Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Actually, I compromise and split it up....some is "stock" because the intro paragraph is repetitive anyways. "Hi , my name is....blah blah blah" But then I throw a little in regards to what she had written in her profile, like if she says she likes to hike, I ask what state parks she enjoys when she does go hiking, and I talk about my hiking experiences briefly as well. When I'm asking about her, it is always different for each woman. When I'm talking about myself certain phrases or even sentences may stay the same, but I might empasize different parts of myself to different women. My opening emails are several sentences total. I often want to say more, but I don't want to spend 30 or more minutes on someone that's not interested.
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I'll tell you what I do. I read the profile. If the guy sounds appealing to me then I just write a response to him. Off the cuff, ad lib like having a conversation. Depending on his come back then we go from there. If we are batting to and fro with comical, interesting, intriguing sh!*t then it's time to exchange numbers and meet up. So stick your stock emails. Even if I read them I would just delete them. Be spontaneous. Be witty. Add some zing, some spark. Cus that delete button is just a swish of the wrist away.. When I'm asking about her, it is always different for each woman. When I'm talking about myself certain phrases or even sentences may stay the same, but I might empasize different parts of myself to different women. My opening emails are several sentences total. I often want to say more, but I don't want to spend 30 or more minutes on someone that's not interested.
Ody Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Dude you have to let go of the fact these chicks don't write you back. Why do you care so much if a stranger writes you back anyway? There are better things to worry about.
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Dude you have to let go of the fact these chicks don't write you back. Why do you care so much if a stranger writes you back anyway? There are better things to worry about. I know, but we have to thrash it out every now and again. Just to make sure there's no change in the OD scene.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Kinda tells you (and should be telling them) that they've reached the end of their rope and there is a LIMITED amount of options in that 50 mile radius. Sure, it does sort of point that way doesn't it? But what about all the women you haven't emailed? What about those hundreds of women you feel are below your station? I mean let's face it, if you are going from site to site noticing the same faces you've seen for quite sometime that must mean you are also being extra picky and you must be hitting up on women that are above "your station" so to speak. A woman who feels is at your level both physically (picture) and intellectually/compatible (profile context/lifestyle) will respond. why don't you lower your expectations a bit and learn to compromise?
thegreatmoose Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 It's an option that is available to me and I use it. Simple as sweetheart. And if you don't like the features that a site has then don't use the site. But don't b!t*h at me because I do. You do whatever you want. Doing it and thinking it's funny is just wasting the time of men who are looking for love. Most women want us to make the first move and to show such blatant disrespct is pathetic. I'd say at most 1 in 25 don't read the emails I send.
thegreatmoose Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I'll tell you what I do. I read the profile. If the guy sounds appealing to me then I just write a response to him. Off the cuff, ad lib like having a conversation. Depending on his come back then we go from there. If we are batting to and fro with comical, interesting, intriguing sh!*t then it's time to exchange numbers and meet up. So stick your stock emails. Even if I read them I would just delete them. Be spontaneous. Be witty. Add some zing, some spark. Cus that delete button is just a swish of the wrist away.. I DO NOT send stock emails. I might mention my job and a certain detail from it in first first email. I might mention the same detail about it to a different woman with similar interests, so I might use the same phrase. Other times, I might say something totally different. I put plenty of thought into the first email. What's in my first email depends a lot upon the type of woman I'm replying to. If I don't think there's enough in common, I'm not emailing at all.
Author b52s Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 And again we have frustrated little singles assuming that we care about being single. And expecting us to lower our standards or change our expectations because we haven't hooked a man. Is that what you do then? Lower your expectations until finally you can find someone. I would recommend that you take a break from OD for a while and reassess yourself and try and work out where that warped thinking comes from. JMO. Not necessarily lower your expectations, but be more realistic in your expecations Here's an online article about Why is it okay to settle for Mr. Good Enough There's also a short video there of 4 women acting as if they did not regret marrying their previous fiance's They talk about how that they should have married the guy was less than 6 feet tall, or was someone who was starting to bald, or whatever these expectations may be.
Author b52s Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 Yep, just like they probably keep wondering why your face is on every site it's all abotu maximizing your odds. Yeah, when they start to wonder that, then maybe they'll "come around"
InspiredbyYou Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Very interesting video what is mostly interesting to me is the commentary by the two women at the end. The married good looking woman is advocating not settling, that love can happen at any age. The single older lady (single mom) is saying women should settle, yet she is still single herself. Hmmmmm!?!? She says she should have given a chance to all those guys she didn't feel chemistry on a first date for. Sorry but chemistry can't be forced she is under the delusion that if she had given those men a chance she'd be with someone and the reality is: a) she could have not developed chemistry ever even if she did date two three more times b) she would have ended up alone anyway because it may not have worked out c) she could have developed a strong liking to them, been married to them now and like they say be feeling lonlier than ever. She went ahead and had a child on her own, and is making it on her own why in the world would she feel that being with someone sub-par would be better for her? See how she has the grass is greener attitude? the married woman is more realistic. She married for the right reasons and of course she is going to advocate not settling. There really is no worse feeling than feeling trapped inside a relationship that you know you don't feel as you should. It's the worse feeling in the world. It is not so bad at the beginning but as the years go by it feels like you are in prison. NEVER settle.
thegreatmoose Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Sorry but chemistry can't be forced she is under the delusion that if she had given those men a chance she'd be with someone and the reality is: a) she could have not developed chemistry ever even if she did date two three more times What about all the people who are happily married that did not have good first meetings? I definitely know some. They worked or went to school together so they were often put in a position that they would be with each other. Eventually, they grew to like each other, then love each other and years later be happily married to ech other. Some people get nervous and usually do not make a good impression on a first date. There are many men and women like this. Should they be doomed to be single forever?
Ody Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 LOL are you guys trying to debate your way into a date? Do you fight the tide much?
Author b52s Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 Very interesting video what is mostly interesting to me is the commentary by the two women at the end. The married good looking woman is advocating not settling, that love can happen at any age. The single older lady (single mom) is saying women should settle, yet she is still single herself. Hmmmmm!?!? She says she should have given a chance to all those guys she didn't feel chemistry on a first date for. Sorry but chemistry can't be forced she is under the delusion that if she had given those men a chance she'd be with someone and the reality is: a) she could have not developed chemistry ever even if she did date two three more times b) she would have ended up alone anyway because it may not have worked out c) she could have developed a strong liking to them, been married to them now and like they say be feeling lonlier than ever. She went ahead and had a child on her own, and is making it on her own why in the world would she feel that being with someone sub-par would be better for her? See how she has the grass is greener attitude? the married woman is more realistic. She married for the right reasons and of course she is going to advocate not settling. There really is no worse feeling than feeling trapped inside a relationship that you know you don't feel as you should. It's the worse feeling in the world. It is not so bad at the beginning but as the years go by it feels like you are in prison. NEVER settle. well, I guess it depends on what you're settling ON. If you decided to settle for someone who uses drugs...then you might be miserable. If you decided to "settle" (or be realistic) and give the short man a shot....then that's where the "settling" should occur (the reason I quote "settling", is because one might have their own definition...or sometimes "settling" is a COMPLETE misnomer.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 What about all the people who are happily married that did not have good first meetings? I definitely know some. They worked or went to school together so they were often put in a position that they would be with each other. Eventually, they grew to like each other, then love each other and years later be happily married to ech other. Some people get nervous and usually do not make a good impression on a first date. There are many men and women like this. Should they be doomed to be single forever? Well let's clarify: there is "not having a good first meeting" and then there is "no chemistry at all on the first meeting". I think the point the woman made was she regrets not giving a second date to men she felt no chemistry at all for on the first date. I have never met any couple that met and they were not into each other (chemistry-wise) and then they grew to be attracted, love each other, and eventually married. Everyone I know that is married and happy they knew right away they were attracted. Even my parents, my own dad still describes what he felt when he saw my mom across the room... I did know one couple that met like you said, she cheated on him and they were later divorced.
Ody Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 In the interests of being constructive rather than snide, I submit this: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/09/14/online-dating-advice-exactly-what-to-say-in-a-first-message/ Can't really ask for a better free analysis of how to get responses. Link goes to OK Cupid staff article "Online Dating Advice: Exactly What To Say In A First Message"
InspiredbyYou Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 well, I guess it depends on what you're settling ON.. Chemistry, or lifestyle expectations. All the superficial things we want but also need to feel that passion and respect/admiration that we feel when we are in love with someone that rocks our world. Not getting what you want in a "big picture" sort of sense would be settling. If you don't admire your partner and feel sexually aroused by them, then you are settling. Pretty simple really.
thegreatmoose Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Well let's clarify: there is "not having a good first meeting" and then there is "no chemistry at all on the first meeting". I think the point the woman made was she regrets not giving a second date to men she felt no chemistry at all for on the first date. I have never met any couple that met and they were not into each other (chemistry-wise) and then they grew to be attracted, love each other, and eventually married. Everyone I know that is married and happy they knew right away they were attracted. Even my parents, my own dad still describes what he felt when he saw my mom across the room... I did know one couple that met like you said, she cheated on him and they were later divorced. The second date may well have gone better. She never gave him the chance. It very likely would have gone no better, but who knows. Who knows. How many threads have you seen here by women saying the guy was perfect but I don't know why I wans't into him? I'm often the guy who looks good on paper who has repeatedly been rejected for no chemistry. I'm definitely uptight and often not myself on first dates. It's gotten to the point where I don't believe there is somebody for everybody. The one thing that does give me hope are the good number of people I know that have made it work even though there was no excitement in the beginning.
Vertex Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I feel chemistry with people around me in general, including friends. I don't see why chemistry shouldn't be important in a relationship. Otherwise I would question why I would want a relationship in the first place. Chemistry, on some level, seems important.
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 LOL are you guys trying to debate your way into a date? Do you fight the tide much? I wanna date you!
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Whatever. It's obviously not working for ya. Time to try a different tack maybe? Not necessarily lower your expectations, but be more realistic in your expecations Here's an online article about Why is it okay to settle for Mr. Good Enough There's also a short video there of 4 women acting as if they did not regret marrying their previous fiance's They talk about how that they should have married the guy was less than 6 feet tall, or was someone who was starting to bald, or whatever these expectations may be.
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 You do whatever you want. Doing it and thinking it's funny is just wasting the time of men who are looking for love. Most women want us to make the first move and to show such blatant disrespct is pathetic. I'd say at most 1 in 25 don't read the emails I send. Nope. I'm not wasting my time. I'm not even reading their emails. They are the ones wasting their time. I'm not sitting there waiting for them to make the first move. I get on there and send out those messages just as much as you probably. But then I'm not 'most women'. I wouldn't even profess to know what 'most women' want. You're sounding a bit pathetic now though.
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I DO NOT send stock emails. I wasn't talking to you.
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Yeah, when they start to wonder that, then maybe they'll "come around" And you'll be waiting...like the last kid to be picked for the soccer game.
Ody Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I wanna date you! LOL too late you probably deleted my email without reading it! Damned hussy! YOUR LOSS!!!!!
justforfun Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 LOL Too late you probably deleted my email without reading it!!!!! Damned hussy!!!! YOUR LOSS!!!!! But that's okay. I know you'll send me another as you'll assume I deleted you in error. :lmao::lmao::lmao:
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