Ophelia Rue Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Something happened last night that really pissed me off. I was out with my boyfriend, and his friend, and his friend's girlfriend. We were at a bar, drinking. We always, always hang out with these people. Probably once a week. So, the girlfriend is standing next to me, and she keeps telling me how hot I am. Then, she GRABS my head (literally grabs my head) and sticks her freaking tongue down my throat. Then her boyfriend took a picture of it on his phone! I am so appalled. Seriously. It made me look bad to my boyfriend and I have a LOT more class than that. Second, I feel violated! We left VERY shortly after due to my being extremely weirded out. Who the hell does that? What would you guys do?? Why do girls do this kind of crap, also? Do they just do it for attention? Guys what do you think of girls who pull the "bisexual" card and make out with girls at the bar??
The Way I Am Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Disgusting. I feel for you. I thought it was awkward a few weeks ago when a girl walked up to me and just told me she wanted to make out with me. I'm glad she didn't actually DO it. I'd be appalled that the picture is out there for who knows to see. Yes, all girls who do that want is attention. (Unless they're lesbians, but seeing as she has a bf, I'll assume she's not.) I can't imagine thinking it would be ok to grab someone and forcibly kiss them. Maybe she figures that because she likes the attention, you must too. Was she drunk? Maybe her judgment was impaired. I don't even know what to say about how to deal with it. Maybe have your bf talk to his friend? Or just don't be around them anymore?
Barby Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 :confused:Yikes:confused: Sorry you were violated...yeah and the pic thing is tacky and creepy...I would be checking out her face book or myspace pages to make sure she hasn't plastered you all over the internet. As for how to deal with this....if you still continue to go around them...make it perfectly clear that she is to stay away from you in this manner or next time she won't be drinking her drink, she'll be wearing it!!
Pizzaman81 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Girls who make out with other girls in public to get attention is an insult to bi-sexual and lesbian women. It gives off the impression that all bis and lesbians just randomly kiss each other for attention with no emotions attached.
Rudderless Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Was it for attention? Maybe she and her boyfriend wanted to shag you. I guess you weren't up for it ....lol
Pizzaman81 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Jeez, loosen up. A huge chunk of women are more open to bisexual behaviors compared to men. Every girl I've ever talked closely with has admitted to having some bisexual tendencies and experiences. It's to the point that I'm almost in the camp that no woman is completely straight. I think it was just a shock. No different than if a guy did it out of nowhere. I guarantee you no one who sees that is going to think much less of you. Attention or not, it's not that big of a deal. Anyone that thinks women are attention whores because they gave another girl a quick kiss needs to get out of the cave once and awhile. But James!!!!!!! I dated a bi-sexual woman for 1.5 years. I don't live in a cave.
Malenfant Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Jeez, loosen up. A huge chunk of women are more open to bisexual behaviors compared to men. Every girl I've ever talked closely with has admitted to having some bisexual tendencies and experiences. It's to the point that I'm almost in the camp that no woman is completely straight. I think it was just a shock. No different than if a guy did it out of nowhere. I guarantee you no one who sees that is going to think much less of you. Attention or not, it's not that big of a deal. Anyone that thinks women are attention whores because they gave another girl a quick kiss needs to get out of the cave once and awhile. so if a guy did it that would be OK? would it be acceptable for a guy to just shove his tongue down her throat? No, it wouldnt be, but some men seem to see women acting bi as somehow lighthearted and not at all offensive. How would you feel if a guy had done that to you? I imagine you wouldnt laugh it off as harmless. and i'd just like to add that i'm a hetro female with no bi or lesbian curiosities at all, and any women who assumes another woman would like her to forcably kiss them like that needs their head read. Its an invasion of privacy regardless of which gender.
purgatori Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I can't say I feel sorry for you, even though I should, because you're better off kissing her than your boyfriend, but I do find girls who put on this kind of display very annoying. There is nothing more disappointing than discovering that a makeout session between two girls was merely a bid for male attention, rather than an expression of sapphic lust.
Taramere Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 (edited) Who the hell does that? What would you guys do?? I don't know, but if someone grabbed me really aggressively in a situation like that, I might lash out at them - especially if I was already feeling wound up in their company. It astounds me the way some people assume a woman's body is available to be kissed and grabbed by anyone who wants to kiss and grab it. And that woman should apparently be cool with any Tom, Dick or Harriet trying to cop a feel. To hell with that. The protection-against-sexual-attack instinct is likely to kick in if someone who's pretty much a stranger unexpectedly grabs you like that. This person didn't bother reading you, sussing out what you were about or gauging the situation - and she was lucky you didn't react with some nose-breaking reflex. I'm not saying that's the right response, but anyone invading other people's space like that risks getting a sharp and potentially painful response. Edited November 30, 2009 by Taramere
Malenfant Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 I'm sorry, but I don't buy the whole gender-equality thing. There are fundamental differences between men and women. Women are far more close to other women then men are with other men. I don't see anything wrong with that. If you see a woman consoling another woman who's crying, you don't think twice. You see a man consoling a crying man, and there's something that doesn't seem right. A man usually doesn't feel the security from another man. Don't ask me why, but our brains aren't wired that way. This carries over into kissing. It's a casual atmosphere; a bar, some alcohol, some friends... one of the girls got a bit too drunk and made someone uncomfortable. I don't think it's comfortable to be force kissed by anyone, even a girl, but I don't think it's so appalling what she did. Sticking someone's tongue down someone's throat isn't something many people like to have done out of nowhere. But she was obviously drunk and made a mistake. No big deal. I wouldn't have even left the bar and I wouldn't have thought a lot about it 15 minutes later, other than, "Wow, Mary sure comes out of her skin when she has a few too many." just because women are generally more affectionate with each other than men doesnt mean we all want to snog each other. your views come across as rather dismissive, the OP did find it appalling, and i personally agree with her that i would also find it unacceptable. not being a woman i dont see that you can really comment on how a woman should feel about this. i dont pretend to speak for all women but i dont think you should dismiss her feelings as being unjustified.
Malenfant Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Do you find it appalling that I don't find it appalling? OP asked, "What would you guys do??" and "Why do girls do this kind of crap, also? Do they just do it for attention? Guys what do you think of girls who pull the "bisexual" card and make out with girls at the bar??" I was dismissive. Sorry, it's how I would feel if I saw it. I can't specifically relate to the female/female aspect, but if a female did that to me, I wouldn't feel violated. But a little awkward at best. I see no reason why it wouldn't be different for a woman to feel that much different. If I was a woman, I think I would have been somewhat dismissive and wouldn't hinge a relationship with good friends over an incident like that. no, of course i dont find it appalling that you wouldnt have a problem with it. and i respect your opinion, i was just pointing out that some women do feel the same as OP, and that its her right to be uncomfortable if thats how she feels, she shouldnt be made to feel shes being uptight about it, thats all.
Malenfant Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 hey, what happened to notRJM's posts? i didnt think that a person could delete posts after they had been replied to? annoying cos some of us have replied to him and not the thread makes no sense
Mr-T Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 hey, what happened to notRJM's posts? i didnt think that a person could delete posts after they had been replied to? annoying cos some of us have replied to him and not the thread makes no sense looks like his account has been deleted, His posts have gone from other threads too. x
Malenfant Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 looks like his account has been deleted, His posts have gone from other threads too. x hmm.. interesting.. i wonder why
D-Jam Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipstick_feminism Lipstick feminism also referred to as "stiletto feminism" or "slut feminism" [1] is a branch of feminism in which it is not seen as contradictory to both be a feminist and to put on a show to attract men/women. Besides the acceptance of makeup that the title implies, lipstick feminists also do not find stripping, pole dancing, flashing, girl-on-girl exhibitionism, or sometimes even glorification of prostitution to be in conflict with feminism. Lipstick feminism also associates sex with power and the power of sexual allure as power over men. A more mild degree of lipstick feminism allows followers to call themselves feminists while still wearing make-up, suggestive clothing such as short skirts, and other suggestive items that are usuallly condemned for various reasons by traditional feminists. Many traditional feminists see lipstick feminism as a contradictory philosophy in which women willingly objectify themselves while calling it empowerment.
Lucky_One Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Well either, she kissed you for a long time, or she had this planned with her BF. Not many people have their cell cameras out and ready for a spontaneous picture of a kiss, especially if the kissee was trying to escape the kisser's tongue. I HOPE that your BF asked his friend for his phone, and deleted the picture then and there, himself.
jerseyboy Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 It is transparent And its usually the most average looking girls who do it the most for attention
The Way I Am Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Girls who make out with other girls in public to get attention is an insult to bi-sexual and lesbian women. It gives off the impression that all bis and lesbians just randomly kiss each other for attention with no emotions attached. Having known some lesbian women who do enjoy randomly kissing other women with no emotions attached, I can guarantee you some of them do it... they're just not motivated by the attention. They also make sure the other girl is interested first. A guy friend and I recently had a discussion about straight girls kissing. Two girls had been trying to get his attention at a party by making out. It didn't work on him, but it did on the 18-20 year olds in the crowd. notRJM's perspective is clearly that of the juvenile male, and I suspect he thinks that other women kissing is the awesomist thing ever. How could a girl have a problem with something so awesome, geez? Lighten up. It's ok if a WOMAN violates you. Ridiculous. He also seems to forget the fact that the two in this case were not close friends. As described in the OP, the violator was just the girlfriend of her boyfriend's friend.
deux ex machina Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 People use other people so blatantly anymore.
Ody Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 LOL a thousand guys on this site and no one else is willing to fess up and admit that it sure beats watching some shi*tty basketball game on the TV behind the bar. It's a good watch and makes me start thinking about sexins if they are hot. Of course I know it's all BS but I don't care. I don't pretend my porno actors love each other either. The part about kissing someone who is not OK with it, well that does suck. Usually not the case though, some of these girls have the act pre-rehearsed.
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